Who can tell me some jokes and feel a little uncomfortable? qq8 19707432

Students go to the toilet between classes, and when they are finished, they find that there is no paper, and they can't wait for people, and their mobile phones are in arrears. In desperation, he called 10086 for help. . . It is said that there was silence for a long time, and later ... his classmate received such a short message in class: Hello, China Mobile User, your classmate is in the toilet and asked you to send him toilet paper. Please contact 10086 for details.

2. I got up in the morning and saw a Netease comment. The original is a screenshot.

First floor: Everybody calm down. Come and listen to the fifth floor. ! ~

Second floor: I think the fifth floor is very reasonable.

The third layer: the fifth layer speaks the voice of the people.

Fourth floor: The fifth floor is really nice!

Fifth floor: upstairs are full of idiots.

The bedroom is on the sixth floor. When I climbed up, I found that I didn't have my key. I went downstairs and asked my aunt for it. Then I climbed up to open the door, went down to return the key and climbed up again. I found the door closed. A classmate next door passed by and asked, "You see your door is open, I'll close it for you." …

4. 1955 China's per capita income is 3.2 times that of South Korea and 1. 1 times that of Japan. However, after more than 50 years of "earth-shaking" growth, the per capita income of China in 2008 was 3% of Japanese and 7% of Korean.

At night, my girlfriend said I was too girly, so I got angry and quarreled with her. I wanted to be a man, but I finally couldn't help crying.

6. A buddy got up the courage to express his affection to MM on QQ. After a while, MM replied: I'm her mother, and I'm here to steal food.

7. If you have nothing to do in the morning, just look at the company homepage. Seeing the new recruitment content above, I was bored and found my position impressively listed. ...

8. The student who blew the north wind took a fancy to a mother-daughter combination. That girl is amazing. After a fierce ideological struggle, the north wind followed them all the way to the parking lot and finally moved.

Beifeng: Hello, Aunt!

Mom: Hmm. ...

Beifeng: Well, I want to know your daughter.

Mom: She is my daughter-in-law ~

The north wind fainted on the spot, and the girl blushed, but her mother was very open-minded: "Young man, you have a lot of courage, hehe ..."

Then the mother-in-law drove away.

9. A big brother in the dormitory said one day who is this wma? He sang many songs in my MP3.

10. The teacher called the roll in class: "Liu Hua!" As a result, the following children shouted back: "Yeah!" The teacher was very angry: "Why didn't you say' here'?" The child said, "That word is pronounced' yeah' ...".

1 1. On this day, I suddenly found that I have a big aunt, a second aunt, a fourth aunt, a fifth aunt, but no third aunt. So I went to ask my dad: Why don't I have a third aunt? I thought for a moment: Did Third Aunt die when she was young? My dad said: your third aunt is your mother!

12. I want to play a joke on my boyfriend, pretend to find a pair of ladies' underwear (actually mine) under his bed, and then question him. At first, he refused to admit it. Unexpectedly, under my pressure, he actually hugged me and began to admit his mistake.

13. My husband and I had a quarrel once, and I felt very uncomfortable. While my husband was asleep, I squatted on his head and gave him a fart to smell. Unexpectedly, I pulled a pile of shit on his face too hard.

14. The man was away on business and suddenly went home. He heard the man snoring at the door. The man walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: divorce.

Three years later, his wife told him that he was a little lion rising in Ran Ran!

15. Once the bell rings, everyone must go home. When I went down the stairs, my left foot stepped on my right foot, and a big font hit the middle of the road ... I thought at that time: No way, it's embarrassing, I pretended to be dizzy. As a result, the classmates next to me saw me motionless, quickly helped me up, and then slapped me on the body. ...

16. A classmate, his computer automatically turns on every morning (probably because the dormitory suddenly opened when he called in the morning).

As a result, his old man took a symbol and posted it on the computer. . .

17. Dad hates foreign singers. But one day, when I was watching Mike Jackson's mtv, I suddenly found my father standing behind watching it with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Dad, do you like this, too?"

Dad shook his head: "Mao Amin is really getting ugly."