A cool mini joke.

1: The movements of divers are very difficult. He turns three times, then somersaults three and a half times, and then somersaults for a month.

2: mm got lost looking for a university. Meet a gentle professor.

Excuse me, how can I get to the university?

Professor: Only by studying hard can you go to college.

3. The director and the section chief * * * took the elevator, and the director farted and said to the section chief, You farted! The section chief said: I didn't put it there? Soon the section chief was removed from office, and the director said at the meeting, What's the use if you can't take care of major events?

4. Little Sister: Business is not good now!

Boss: Why?

Little sister:? Bird flu? ..？

A woman trembled when she met a robber. I come from XX school. I just graduated. I haven't found a job yet. I really have no money.

The robber cried after hearing this. Sister, I am from XX school, too. Please bring your student ID card. It belongs to the XX school that was robbed in front. Don't worry, we will never rob our own people! ?

6: I want to talk to my girlfriend ML. My girlfriend says I can't take a shower. I promise I can wash it if it's cold. Local? After washing, my girlfriend said shyly, honey, you are so lazy. Where to wash? I fainted after listening to it. I just brushed my teeth.

A blind beggar was begging in the street wearing sunglasses.

A drunk came up and felt sorry for him, so he threw him a hundred dollars.

After walking for a while, the drunk turned around and happened to see the blind man with his back to the sun to distinguish the authenticity of a hundred-dollar bill.

The drunk came over and took the money back and said, you fucking don't want to live, how dare you lie to Lao Tzu! ?

The blind beggar looked wronged and said, brother, I'm really sorry. I'm looking for a friend. He was blind and went to the toilet. Actually, I'm stupid. ?

? Oh, really? So the drunk dropped the money and staggered away again?

8: Bird flu? Both? Shit? What a disaster! ! !

There are two kinds of people who have a high probability of getting bird flu? 1.？ Beast? ; 2.？ Worse than animals? People? .

Hey, how did you learn to smoke?

I will, when I steal the forbidden fruit from Adam and Eve ~

Do you know why Adam and Eve stole the forbidden fruit?

AB: I don't know!

Because Adam has no cigarettes! (hint: homophonic words)

10: Someone just got abandoned by his girlfriend and happened to meet his ex-girlfriend flirting with his new lover in the street. The more he watched it, the angrier he became, trying to humiliate them. So he greeted politely and said contemptuously to his girlfriend's new love. You don't dislike the second-hand goods I used! ? Just when he was proud of his creativity, his ex-girlfriend said with a smile: One inch outside is old, and the inside is brand new! ?

1 1: She kissed me when we broke up. What's that feeling? As real as People's Daily?

12: I just saw something like a news scroll bar at the top of my senior's computer screen, and the words on it passed quickly.

I am curious to ask: Is this the lyrics?

Senior: Yes!

Senior: How did it pass so quickly? I didn't even see it clearly!

Senior: From Jay Chou! !

13: Wife: I was really blind before I married you and stepped on shit.

Husband: I was really blind enough to step on shit before I married you.

Shit: I'm so unlucky! Lying there, you both stepped on it. ......

14: college entrance examination chemistry questions: A and B can be transformed into each other, B can generate C in boiling water, and C can be oxidized into D in air. Smells like rotten eggs. What are a, b, c and d?

I replied: A is a chicken, B is a raw egg, C is a cooked egg, and D is of course a rotten egg!

15: Which is the worst, rubber, tiger skin or lion skin?

A: Eraser.

Because of the eraser

16: Q: 3 What's that with only one head and one foot?

Answer: Three monsters with one head and one foot! ! ! ! ! !

The ants went to the desert. Why didn't he leave footprints on the beach, but only a line?

Answer: Because it rides a bike!

The ant came home from the desert. He didn't inform anyone, but his family knew he was back! Why ah!

Answer: Did you see his bike parked downstairs? .

18: One day, a female drug addict was arrested in the police station. The police saw a tattoo on her hand and asked her why she had her boyfriend's name tattooed on her hand. Is his name Liang Xiao? Ah, isn't it? Come on, tell me. Is he taking drugs? Say it quickly

I saw the female drug addict raise her head with angry eyes.

Say to the police

Is this hate? .

19: One day, Xiaomei and her boyfriend went out for a ride.

The car is running out of gas, and there is a gas station next to it. When driving by, a sudden gust of wind blew my boyfriend's hat away.

Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her:

"I'll get my hat, you help me to refuel. 」

Not far from her boyfriend, she heard Xiaomei shout behind her:

"come on Come on! 」

20: An orangutan passed through the Woods and accidentally collected gibbon feces.

Good orangutans cleaned up apes.

After a while, they fell in love, and people asked you how you got together.

The orangutan replied, "It's ape dung (fate)!"

2 1:: There is a fat man. ..........

Jump off a tall building ...

It turned out to be .......

Fat bastard ..

There is a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, it was hit by a car while crossing the road, shouting: gung! ? Since then it has become a cucumber?

There is a penguin whose home is far from the polar bear's home. It will take 20 years to get there on foot. One day, the penguin stayed at home and was bored. He was going to play with polar bears, so he went out, but on the way, he found that he forgot to lock the door. It's been 10 years, but the door still has to be locked, so the penguin went home to lock it. After locking the door, the penguin set out again to look for the polar bear, which means it took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's home? Then the penguin knocked on the door and said, polar bear polar bear, penguin is coming to play with you! ? Guess what the polar bear said when he opened the door? Let's go to your house to play ~?

24: The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked? Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns? Boss:? Ah, sorry, not that much? I see. . . ? The little white rabbit left in frustration. The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns? Boss:? I'm sorry, or not? I see. . . ? The little white rabbit left in frustration again. On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns? The boss said happily, yes, yes, we have one hundred steamed buns today! ! ? The little white rabbit took out the money: Great, I want two!

25. Little Ming Dow: "Kang, what about you? A shark ate a mung bean. What has it become? Kang said, "I don't know. What is the answer? Xiao Ming said, "Hey! Hey! The answer is? Green bean paste (green bean shark)? You are so stupid! 」

26: The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution. Make the lunch box blue.

27. One person has a bad stomach. One day, he went to the Stomach Hospital and said to the doctor. I pull everything, eat watermelon and cucumber! ? The doctor thought for a moment and said to him, I think you have to eat shit! ?

28: On the plane, the stewardess asked a little girl. Why can't the plane fly so high and hit the stars? The little girl replied:? I know, because the stars will? Flash? Ah! ?

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