I don't know how terrible I am.

Everyone is climbing, why do you still stand still when others become winners in life? Do you know a lot of truth but still can't live this life? Before talking about this topic, let me tell a story:

I used to limit my knowledge to school textbooks and thought that grades were everything. I am not good at socializing, and I am not good at communicating with people. I didn't say more than ten sentences to almost every student in my class. I only live in classrooms, dormitories and canteens every day. I only remember the back of a person burning the midnight oil in the classroom, the rotten teaching AIDS and the hurried pace between the classroom and the office. I never know what I can do in the future, but I simply think that since I am not good at communication, I will stay the same. Occasionally, one day, I read the story of Ma Yun: After graduating from college, Ma Yun worked as a rural teacher, drove a tricycle, worked as a tour guide and drove in translation agency. Today, he has become an Internet tycoon and the richest man in China. Why can Ma Yun do this with so many teachers in the world? And I, as a student, everyone can express myself boldly on the stage. Why don't I make some breakthroughs? I know I'm not good at communication. Why can't I change myself so that I can express my views on any occasion? Why can others do what I can't? Is it natural? No, it's not. But I didn't improve my cognition. Malik Yun did. So, by chance, I started and took the first step. I remember that I just transferred to another middle school, and that week, the school just held an English speech contest. I volunteered to take part in the speech contest before I became one with my new classmates. I only prepared in a hurry for a few days before I went on stage. The first time I gave a speech, I was nervous. I can't hear what I'm giving. My heartbeat occupies my whole brain. However, at the end of the speech, my heart was filled with unprecedented joy, which broke through myself and achieved a sense of accomplishment that I never thought I could do but succeeded. At that time, I only got the penultimate place in the speech contest of more than a dozen people. Another opportunity came, this time, to give a speech at the National Business Leaders Summit with more than 3,000 people. I remember there was a competition where the host asked the contestants to do an impromptu sitcom of 10 minutes. The topic is, one day, you are going to apply for a job in a company, and you happen to meet the manager on the elevator. You need to introduce yourself in the elevator for ten seconds. What would you say? I never even thought about it. I was the first to raise my hand. On that occasion, I expressed my views fluently and boldly. Surprisingly, I won the national championship in that competition. That experience made me deeply realize that only by recognizing myself, knowing my own shortcomings, finding the root causes of these shortcomings and changing my own methods can I break through myself. I know who I am more clearly. What kind of person do I want to be? What does it take to be such a person? I wonder if this kind of cognition can be used in other aspects, or even copied to others, and become a methodology and a model. My cognitive inspiration comes from seeing Ma Yun's story, but our life is too short to wait. But we can choose to actively improve ourselves.

Why do you want to know yourself? The most essential reason is that we have never really understood ourselves, and we always imagine our own image through the tone of others, but these are not the real us. The real us has no external dress-up and deliberately embellishes ourselves. Our misinterpretation of ourselves leads to a cognitive gap between people from the beginning. We don't know who we are, what we need, what kind of personality we are, and what we are good at. If you don't know yourself, you can't locate yourself, and you will run around and do things that are completely unsuitable for you. For example, some college students blindly get along with others, and in order to get along with their roommates who play games, they lose their self-study. As a result, they couldn't find a job after graduation and paid a painful price. Knowing yourself can make you a better self.

Everyone's brain has a set of algorithms, which have evolved from environmental projection and autonomous consciousness since birth. This algorithm determines how a person handles basic materials, and we can simply boil it down to two words: cognition. In other words, some people can only see the surface of the world, while others can see the deep laws of its operation.

1. With copper as a mirror, you can dress; Taking history as a mirror, we can know the rise and fall; Take people as a mirror, you can know the gains and losses.

Many people have a magical mirror. In front of this mirror, people are always charming, and half of the selfies are done here. However, there is another mirror in this world. They distort evil and often make people wonder if they are themselves. For example, I caught a glimpse of a mirror when I was not ready, or the camera lens of someone else's mobile phone. Like your selfie and your boyfriend's selfie. (self-brain tonic)

So which one is true? When we look at ourselves, the moment our eyes freeze, what we see is actually our own piece. From this perspective, if we regard our comprehensive evaluation of ourselves as a dimension, then the slices we evaluate are low-dimensional projections based on this dimension. Obviously, no matter what kind of positioning projection can replace high-dimensional judgment, that's why we often find ourselves, confident and inferior, extroverted and introverted, afraid and lonely, enjoying silence, neither caring nor timid. We can't tell which one is our real self, because we have been thinking in pieces. Just like a modest person, he is particularly narcissistic at ordinary times. People who are modest to the bone are also wretched to the bone.

The second point I want to say is that everyone has a confirmation bias. Simply put, when you have formed a predetermined position in your mind, or when you tend to get a certain result, it is easier for you to unconsciously deviate from "fairness" on the way to finding evidence. For example, if you think you are not good at communication, then when you communicate with others, you will use "not good at communication" as an excuse not to communicate with others. It's just that you set your character as introverted in a relatively unfamiliar environment. It's hard to break through yourself and do what you can really do. We prefer the created self to the real self. When you really know yourself, you have been doing something to break through yourself.

How can we recognize ourselves?

Only by following your feelings and establishing your own complete perception of the world will you be more real and full of vitality.

To put it bluntly, we should know ourselves through real relationships. Everyone's ego is a treasure. If you are so busy pleasing others that you forget to establish a relationship with yourself, then what you lose is the so-called "soul".

Now you can take out a piece of paper and list 10 things you always wanted to do but didn't do, such as quarreling with your boss, having an expensive lunch, or traveling by yourself. It is important to find your own pace of life, and a life that can take the initiative to make choices is worth living.

2. Our evaluation of ourselves is always based on others' feedback, so we don't want to evaluate ourselves objectively, but we don't want to evaluate ourselves objectively.

We love to pretend to understand and overestimate ourselves. Sometimes we are too confident to piece together what we only know a little and think we know it. If we finally play a joke. For example, when we learn a technical term, we immediately use it to pretend to be profound.

Here's a joke:

Jin Dong was interviewed by a magazine when he was filming Justices Seeker. In order to show that he is a very dedicated actor, he said to the interviewer, "Acting is also a kind of learning. Every night before going to bed, he will read a set of professional books and some short essays by Nobel Prize winners in Mathematics. " After hearing what he said, the fans came to a climax: the quality of our big idol is too high! Even profound papers like the Nobel Prize in Mathematics can be read! But here comes the embarrassing thing. Nobel prizes are divided into physics, chemistry, physiology or medicine, literature, peace and economics, which are not as good as mathematics at all! If people know that Nobel added another door to others without authorization, it is estimated that he can jump up and make a bomb in front of your house. Can you believe it?

Actually, do you really understand?

Why not admit that you still have a lot of room for improvement and improve yourself silently? Knowledge is not to be shown off, but to be truly internalized into one's own ability. Only those who really understand knowledge can see the more systematic level of this knowledge and finally find the underlying thinking of this knowledge. What you learn is not only explicit knowledge, but also knowledge itself, which is an independent theory and has nothing to do with other things. They can constantly practice their knowledge and acquire more tacit knowledge, which can only be acquired through practice. For example, I know a social butterfly who bought his first sports car when he was 19 years old. He used to be an introverted person. Moreover, he comes from an ordinary family and has no resources to use. So he studied hard to socialize, read a lot of books and really put them into practice. Relying on the six-degree contact theory, he met many great people in business. Now, as a sophomore, he has become a world-famous entrepreneur. Because he has been in the circle of rich people for a long time, his thinking has also become the thinking of rich people. I want to say here that the rich are rich not because they are better than us, but because their thinking is completely different from ours.

3. Opportunity is not so dependent on luck. Opportunity doesn't favor you because you don't have the conditions to open it.

Luck is not the whole of life. Always invest in yourself and only prepare for any fleeting opportunity.

Why do we often talk about personal investment, lifelong learning and self-improvement? Opportunities don't fall from the sky, you develop them with your own resources. When a person's cognition does not reach a certain level, even if he is given high-quality information, it is difficult for him to distinguish it. It is true that we often envy those born with golden keys, who have resources that we don't have. Whenever we see that we are inferior to others, we will think: Why do good opportunities never come to us? With such luck, I have a chance to be like them. Actually, if you think about it carefully, is luck really the whole of life? That's because you haven't understood what opportunity is. Let me give you an example. One day, there was an impromptu speech contest, which was an opportunity, but you were not good enough to make a speech, so you chickened out. You met an opportunity, but you didn't take it. Without previous accumulation, even if there is an opportunity, you will miss it.

Therefore, every opportunity is pieced together. It is difficult for you to spell out the next picture without the fragments accumulated in the previous period. There is no fragment in the next picture, so naturally you can't spell the next one. Opportunity comes as fast as lightning, depending on your ability to seize it.

We have learned so much, but we still can't make it. After listening to what I said above, you are going to practice. Sometimes we are lazy and don't take action because we can't see the concrete benefits of doing so. If I tell you, if you do this, you can beat 99% people. Can you do it?

The hardest thing in this world is to see yourself clearly.

We can see that we are influenced by other people's judgments all the time, but when we can know this, we can have a feeling called awareness. We can accept the influence that is beneficial to us to the maximum extent and abandon the influence that is unfavorable to us, so we have been living in the self we created. This requires a kind of practice. This is also the reason why it is difficult for us to recognize ourselves. And many people don't realize that they don't live by themselves because his parents are the first people to influence him. A caring parent can leave a feeling of welcoming his children. A parent who doesn't love their children will leave them feeling unwelcome. But in fact, "popular" and "unpopular" are not the true character of this child. Tracing back to the source, it is very difficult to find out the reasons for some of our own characteristics, and this is exactly the way we step by step towards our true selves.

In such a complicated era, you need more peace of mind. Don't be anxious because others are better than you, but focus on your own feet.

If you know yourself, you won't blindly pursue those invisible goals. If you see yourself clearly, you can see life clearly.