Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Please give me some classic jokes to relieve your tension...
Please give me some classic jokes to relieve your tension...
1. Lao Wang went up the stairs and broke a leg. After the doctor put the cast on, he was told not to climb stairs until the cast was removed. A month later, doctors removed the cast and said he was recovering well. Lao Wang said: "Oh, great, can I take the stairs now?" The doctor said: "Okay, but you have to be careful." "This is so gratifying," Lao Wang sighed and said, "These It’s really troublesome to climb up and down the drainage pipe outside every day!” 2. The teacher’s shocking quotes: 1. They say you don’t have perseverance, but you still have it. You just insist on talking nonsense in class for a long time. 2. I don’t even have a draft book. It’s really pitiful. If I really can’t afford it, I can go to the bank opposite and get a loan to buy it. 3. You are still making trouble, and you have not saved your strength so that you can go to the canteen to grab food later. 4. Take out the papers distributed last time. Under normal circumstances, you probably didn't do them. I'm quite confident in your laziness. 5. When you sleep in the classroom, there are still fewer mosquitoes. It doesn’t feel like a dormitory anymore, right? 6. Why are you all asleep? At least one person should be left on guard! 7. Do you have to go to the toilet together? It doesn’t have to be so obvious! 8. I want to sleep when I’m in class, I want to eat when I’m sleeping, and I want to read when I’m eating. Alas, I am anxious for you! 9. Your volume during class during the day is much lower than during evening self-study. This is extremely abnormal. If this happens to wild animals, it means a major natural disaster is coming. 10. Don’t turn your pen, turn your brain. 11. Some students in the back row always sit there thinking with melancholy expressions and do nothing. I saw Fan Zhongyan's grace in their faces - he worried about the world before he did it. I admire him! 3. A man was adventuring alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he yelled to the sky: "I'm dead, God, save me!" As soon as the light appeared in the sky, a voice came: "Not sure yet, you pick up a big stone on the ground and smash the leader. Die." So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, killing him. The tribesmen were all stunned for a moment, and then looked at each other angrily. At this time, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead." 4. On the bus, two brothers were gossiping. One person asked: "Is Big S the Sa in S.H.E?" Another person replied: "Huh?! Big brother, you are a Martian. Big S is Selina in Twins, the one who was just burned. Wang Xiaofei still has feelings for her. Damn it, I got engaged right after I got burned..." 5. An old man went to buy tomatoes and picked three. The stall owner weighed them and said, "One and a half pounds, three and a half dollars." The old man said, "Just do it. You don’t need that much for this soup.” After that, he removed the biggest tomatoes. The stall owner quickly looked at the scale again and said, "Two liang per catty, three yuan." Just when I couldn't see past it and wanted to remind the uncle to pay attention to the scale, the uncle calmly took out the seventy cents and picked up the one he had just removed. The big tomato turned away.
6. Conversation between two children: A said: Our whole family likes animals. My mother likes cats, my brother likes dogs, and my sister likes little white rabbits.
B said: What about your father?
A said: I like vixens. 7. This is the taste. Once upon a time, there was an old father-in-law who liked to drink the soup that his wife cooked for him. He would feel completely sick if he didn't drink it for a day. Later, his wife died and he couldn't drink that kind of soup. He was very sad, so he started asking his wife to cook it. But no matter how well his wife cooked it, he always threw it aside and said, "You can make such a terrible soup if it doesn't taste like this!" At first, his wife always swallowed it, but as time went by, A day passed and she still couldn't cook it. Finally she had the murderous intention to kill her father-in-law. But she didn't know how to start. She was thinking and thinking, and suddenly she found a rusty jar of insecticide in the corner. She sprayed insecticide into the soup, and then worked up the courage to give it to her father-in-law to drink. Her father-in-law shouted, "This is the taste! This is the taste!" 8. Booking Office: Tickets are extremely tight now. If the train ticket you want is not available, will you accept the adjustment?
Me: Obey.
After I got the ticket the next day, I was angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did you give me a ticket to Shanxi! ! !
Booking Office: Didn’t you say that you should obey the adjustment?
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