What is the best way to chat with your daughter-in-law? Avoid these six minefields when chatting with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

It is difficult to avoid these six minefields when chatting between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. It is difficult to have conflicts

Article︳Firework Life

As a derivative of marriage, conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be said to be Marriage has been a chronic disease since ancient times, and many people have even suffered divorces due to conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. However, smart mother-in-law and daughter-in-law understand that no matter how great the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is, it is still a conflict within the family. Once faced with a major incident, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are still thousands of times stronger than outsiders. Times relatives. Even so, there are bound to be waves in calm days. In my opinion, the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are often in a state of "talking" without actual combat. In essence, there is no right or wrong when parents are short of each other. Therefore, those smart mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who want to improve the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and promote marital harmony only need to avoid talking during chats. The following six minefields will make it difficult to have conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

01 About being a good match.

Regarding the well-matched old man, every mother-in-law, no matter how bad her son and his family are, always feels that he is slightly better in some aspects when compared with his daughter-in-law and her family. Not to mention how outstanding my daughter-in-law is, isn’t it because my son is even better? Every daughter-in-law has a mentality of being unworthy of marriage. No matter how disadvantaged her own conditions are, just because her husband likes her, she is superior to others. However, in today's society, many daughter-in-laws who enter the workplace and earn a considerable income have far better conditions than their husbands. , so the conversation between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should never involve the topic of being well-matched. If you don't know how to avoid the other party's edge when talking about this topic, it will definitely be a lifelong feud.

02

About who does the housework.

No matter whether the mother-in-law is enlightened or traditional, a housewife or a working woman, and no matter whether the daughter-in-law has a job or is busy, one thing is certain, that is, every mother-in-law does not want her son to do housework. , especially after marriage. So who will do the housework? Myself and my daughter-in-law! But nowadays, every daughter-in-law, no matter whether she works or not, will not take housework as her own responsibility. Especially working women, they cannot tolerate their husbands being the hands-off shopkeepers like an uncle, so the best situation is It is the mother-in-law who should not take a stand or mention it in this regard. It is far better to let the young couple discuss it by themselves than to have meaningless quarrels between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law.

03 About childcare hygiene.

Due to financial, safety, work and other pressures, many families have to let their mothers-in-law take care of their children. The focus of the conflict is mostly on the hygiene of childcare. Many mothers-in-law still confidently continue the habit of raising several children to raise the next generation. However, due to the health and economic conditions of the mother-in-law's time, most mothers-in-law are completely unable to understand the strict requirements of today's daughters-in-law, who are almost obsessive-compulsive. Most daughters-in-law will reluctantly tell colleagues, classmates, and husbands about their mother-in-law's lack of hygiene as a joke, so the mother-in-law feels wronged and the daughter-in-law is angry. Why bother? Talk less, do more, change more, and tolerate more. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should resolve conflicts with practical actions, which is more practical than talking.

04

About how to provide for old age.

Many mothers-in-law have a deep-rooted concept of "raising children for old age" and often even use the moral rope of "filial piety" to threaten their sons and daughters-in-law. But the more this happens, the daughter-in-law who understands the law will make it clear that she has no obligation to support her mother-in-law, and the concept of raising children to provide for old age is simply a joke to the daughter-in-law of the new era. They no longer raise children to provide for old age, but to Your life is more complete, and your children are freer. Many young people admit that they will definitely live in a nursing home when they grow old. Who is right and who is wrong to give their children more choices and freedom? Times are developing and ideas are progressing. Anyone who tries to persuade anyone is doomed to talk like a chicken. We should just let nature take its course. If the relationship is good, do we still need to discuss old age care? Don’t lose the possibility of retirement because of discussions about retirement.

05 Regarding who should take more care of the children between husband and wife.

There is no doubt that traditional mothers-in-law believe that raising children, buying food and clothing, sending children to and from school, tutoring children with homework, parent-teacher meetings, etc. should be the basic obligations of their daughter-in-law as mothers, because many mothers-in-law are like this I came here with my family. But nowadays, women pay more attention to the good effect of their husbands in educating their children, and they say "NO" to the widowed way of raising children. I frankly say that I firmly support my daughter-in-law on this issue, because men are strong, patient, funny, powerful, and grasp the big picture. The positive influence of a child's charming personality on children is far greater than that of a moody, "small-bellied" mother, so the mother-in-law should be less biased in this regard.

06

How to allocate household expenses?

People have different opinions on the meaning of money itself and the meaning of money to our lives. Some people think that in life, food and clothing are two words, and making money is for enjoyment; but some people think that good steel requires Use it wisely, and be frugal in daily life to prepare for emergencies; some people think that everything is careless, but others think that everything must pay attention to brand face. It should be said that it is rare for a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law who grew up in different eras and from different families to form a unified concept of consumption. The advice to each other often turns into interference and dissatisfaction, which triggers conflicts between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. The principle I advocate is that as long as they are not deceived, the elderly have the freedom to control their own finances, and as long as their sons and daughters-in-law do not nip at the elderly, they can spend according to their own habits without interfering and avoiding advice.

?In fact, there are no irreconcilable conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Moreover, they both love the same man and they maintain a big family. At a certain time, certain sovereignty and family tradition must be passed on, so the fundamental interests are the same. I don’t even mention the countless examples of the consequences caused by the intensification of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The benefits of harmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can really be said to comfort the ancestors and extend to the descendants. descendants. How could a smart mother-in-law and daughter-in-law sacrifice a small amount for a moment of quick talk? Therefore, as long as the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law avoid the above six minefields that are prone to disagreements in daily chats, it is really difficult to have conflicts, so be careful!