100000 humorous jokes of couples

100,000 humorous jokes of husband and wife: Watching TV with her husband at night, in which the hero dies for the heroine! So I asked my husband, dear, are you willing to die for me? My husband was silent for a while and said, I dare not say, for fear that you will let me die. . . More jokes are in the joke column, welcome to enjoy!

One hundred thousand humorous jokes of husband and wife (1) 1. Wife: Husband, the news just said that Ma Yun got several hundred million yuan in minutes. Is it okay?

Me: Yes.

Wife: Get out. . .

My wife gave birth to three girls in a row. I said, honey, we're not giving birth, okay?

Idiot said:? I didn't! I'm having a baby! I want to see how many lovers you found in your last life! ?

3. Wife: Husband, if I become a monster, will you still want me?

Husband: You can't become a monster, or you will become a witch!

Wife! @#! @#￥%@#￥%

4. My wife gave me an education lesson today: treat your wife as a princess and you are a prince; Treat your wife as a queen, and you are the emperor; When your wife is a nanny, you are a security guard; Treat your wife as a servant girl, and you are a eunuch. So, whether you want to be an emperor or a eunuch depends on the way you treat your wife. ?

Me:? So if I treat my wife like air, I am not a god! ?

Wife! @#! @#! @#

I once naively thought fingerprints were safe until one day I got drunk! My wife took my hand and unlocked my mobile phone. What a painful understanding. . .

6. My wife is unhappy because of things at work. I said, wife, don't be unhappy. In this world, except for your breasts, it's no big deal. . . She kicked me out of the bedroom. . .

7. I am pregnant, and my back hurts badly recently. Just now, my husband pressed my waist and said to my stomach: Bao Xiao, look how much your mother has suffered for you. When you grow up, you must be filial to your father. . .

One hundred thousand humorous jokes of husband and wife (2) 1. I just met a sister paper with a hot body and an open personality, and there is no standard for joking at ordinary times. One day, I invited my sister to dinner and ordered braised fish. I had finished eating one side and was about to eat the other, so I said to my sister paper, Come on, let's turn over. I saw my sister paper blushing and said, no. ...

When I went to the supermarket to buy things, I found that I didn't have enough money. My sister-in-law said shyly, come on, I'll let you go ... I kissed my sister-in-law next to me without saying anything, and turned and ran. ...

3, lz sister paper, I don't want to fold the quilt every morning, I always feel so troublesome! But I thought it would be embarrassing if a handsome guy came to my house to play, so I folded the quilt silently ... This belief has supported me for more than 20 years. ...

When I went out in the morning, I saw that the window of a BMW downstairs was not closed, so I threw my black silk in. When I came back in the afternoon, I saw a tough sister smashing a car like crazy ... it was a surprise for me. ...

5. Sister Paper Q: You don't love others at all. I said: how can I not love you! Sister paper said: Then how much do you love? Me: I love you so much that I can't extricate myself ... Sister Paper said contemptuously: Fuck off, you pull so fast every time. ...

One hundred thousand humorous jokes of husband and wife (III) 1. The wife is very concerned about her position in her husband's heart. She asks her husband the same question every day. How much do you love me?

Husband always answers:? I love you more than the sea. ?

One night, the wife asked her husband the same question and said, Don't say I love you more than the sea! ? .

The husband thought about it and said, you are the sun in my heart. ?

The wife was very happy and walked away with a smile, but after a while, she came back and asked her husband fiercely: Will you tell me clearly that my sun will go down?

2. wife:? Please. Stop drinking for me! ?

Husband:? Don't talk nonsense there I didn't drink it for you. ?

3. Husband:? I never do anything that I regret. ?

Wife sarcastically said,? Then why do you always say you regret marrying me when you quarrel?

4、? My wife is so diligent that I can't stand it! ?

? What happened?

? I got up at four o'clock in the morning to drink some water, and when I got back to the house, she had folded the quilt to cook. ?

A young couple decided to get married. As the big day approaches, both of them are a little scared. Everyone has secrets that they don't tell each other. The groom-to-be finally decided to ask his father for help.

The groom-to-be said, my feet stink. I'm afraid she will hate my feet or even me after I get married. ?

Dad said: It's simple. You just need to wash your feet often and wear socks at any time, even if you sleep. ?

The groom-to-be thought about it and thought it was a feasible plan.

The bride-to-be told her mother the question: Mom, I wake up every morning and my mouth smells bad. I'm afraid I'll scare my husband away. ?

Mom said:? Honey, this is not a problem. Everyone gets up with bad breath. ?

The daughter said:? No, you don't understand. When I get up in the morning, my bad breath is very serious. I'm afraid my husband won't share a room with me. ?

Mom said:? In this way, I won't talk when I get up in the morning. Go to the bathroom to brush your teeth and rinse your mouth first. It is very important not to open your mouth before brushing and gargling. ?

The daughter asked:? Woke up in the morning without saying good morning?

Mom said:? Not saying a word? The bride-to-be thinks it is worth a try.

So the couple got married, and they all remembered the advice they received. He never took off his socks in front of others, and she never opened her mouth before brushing her teeth and gargling in the morning, but the couple lived in peace.

One morning a few months later, the husband woke up to find that a sock had dropped and disappeared. He was scared to death, and immediately looked for socks everywhere in bed to wake his wife.

The wife was suddenly woken up and asked without thinking: What are you doing?

The husband said, Oh, my God! ! You ate my socks. ?

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