On the wedding day, I was beaten by him at the Civil Affairs Bureau: a man with this tendency can't marry no matter how much he loves.

I saw a wonderful news recently, which happened in the marriage registration hall of tengxian Civil Affairs Bureau.

A young man and a woman came to register for marriage because the woman jokingly said "think about it", and then the man was furious and beat her up on the spot.

Punch a helpless girl on the head. She has no resistance to this tough "fiance".

He was directly knocked to the ground, and even if there were several staff members around him, he could not stop the man's violent behavior.

It really makes people angry to see this, just because that woman is joking.

It is easy for a man to beat the other half who is ready to go to the marriage hall. Is love supposed to be like this?

Many netizens accused the man of being insane and violent without a certificate. If two people get married, the life after marriage is even more unimaginable.

Later, the two played in the Civil Affairs Bureau for about half an hour and left angrily.

Thinking of the separation of husband and wife, I secretly congratulated her for not being compromised by men's violence.

Unexpectedly, there was a reversal in the afternoon!

Accompanied by their families, the two happily got a marriage certificate at the Civil Affairs Bureau.

It is reported that the two met while working in Guangdong. It's only been two months, so to speak, it's a lightning wedding. However, before the scene of men hitting people, women feel that they have to reconsider.

Work hard in the morning and come to get the certificate hand in hand in the afternoon? After reading it, I just want to say, girl, you should be careful!

The formation of domestic violence is not a day or two. It may be related to his family background or his personality, or it may be the connivance of the woman.

But whatever the reason, it should not be a reason to hit people.

I know many girls fall in love, hoping to find a good man to accompany them for life, or a good husband who is gentle and considerate enough.

But the fact is, there are still many people who "know that there are tigers in the mountains and tend to the middle reaches of the mountains" and are willing to fall into this "fire pit" after suffering kindness and softhearted.

Therefore, girls must look at your other half carefully before marriage. If you find him violent, please carefully consider the development of your relationship.

Because a man is unscrupulous and violent to you before marriage, he has no basic respect for you in love.

Girls should not think of themselves as saviors. If they are tolerant and understanding enough, they can be changed. Personal strength alone is not enough.

The word home should be warmer and sweeter, but no matter how many ups and downs you go through outside, it still guards your harbor.

Instead of fear and misfortune combined with violence, women should not be victims under the fist.

Don't listen to other people's persuasion This is the first time. He already knew that he was wrong, so he was tolerant.

Tolstoy once said, "All happy families are similar, and each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way".

Of course, there are many kinds of domestic violence. The psychological definition of domestic violence, in addition to physical conflicts and injuries, also comes from inner conflicts, contradictions and emotional outbursts.

Therefore, in the process of emotional handling, cold war, abuse and endless accusations, which come from language injuries, can also be called domestic violence.

For example, Kou Naixin, a Taiwanese program host, once said in "I am an orator" that she and her husband Huang Guolun are both personalities.

So they often quarrel in their lives, and no one will let anyone. Once, she was angry with Huang Guolun, thinking that she must be angry. If there is anything that can hurt him, just pick the one that hurts him the most.

Then, pointing to Huang Guolun, she said, "Huang Guolun, what makes you worthy of me, Kou Naixin? Do you know that you are divorced? You are second-hand, and you don't deserve me! "

Huang Guolun didn't answer back. He turned and began to pack, and then took the suitcase to the door.

Looking back at Kou Naixin, he said, "Naixin, there are some things you can't say, you know?" Then leave.

For the next three days, Kou Naixin couldn't find anyone else and didn't answer the phone.

Kou Naixin felt that his words hurt him deeply. Fortunately, three days later, Huang Guolun came back, and Kou Naixin hugged him and cried.

Kou Naixin said in her speech that after this incident, she discovered for the first time that she might be a domestic abuser because she used verbal violence against Huang Guolun.

Marshall Luxembourg once put forward in nonviolent communication: "The root of most violence is that people ignore each other's feelings and needs and blame each other for conflicts."

Statistics show that from 20 14 to 20 16, the number of domestic violence cases nationwide was ***9457 1.

99% of the perpetrators are men. Every year, nearly 654.38+10,000 families are disintegrated due to domestic violence.

In fact, the anti-domestic violence law has been promulgated for a long time, but news similar to domestic violence is still staged around us every day.

In big cities, at least one third of people have been subjected to violence, and more than half of them have been subjected to domestic violence of different nature.

In remote places, this phenomenon is more common, and even some areas think that beating your wife is a normal behavior.

Albert bandura, a famous American psychologist, once did an experiment.

The researchers selected 36 boys and 36 girls from the kindergarten affiliated to Stanford University and divided them into three groups.

Among them, a group of children will observe the scene of adult violence against Barbie dolls.

That person will sit on Barbie doll, then repeatedly hit its nose, throw it into the air and kick it around the room.

While kicking and cursing, the experimenter will take the child away after the violent scene lasts 10 minutes.

Finally, all the children involved in the experiment will be taken into an activity room with aggressive toys.

The researchers waited for the children to react to this.

The experiment found that those children who observed violence were more aggressive than other children.

Among these children, boys showed 104 violent acts on average, while girls only showed 48.4 violent acts.

At the same time, boys tend to attack physically, while girls tend to attack verbally.

Bandura believes that when adults commit violence in front of children, they are sending a message to children that violence is allowed.

Therefore, the child's own inhibition of aggression will be reduced.

A child grew up in a violent environment at home, and every time he was beaten, he had a belief that only violence could solve the problem.

When children grow up, it will be easier for them to continue and copy their parents' relationship model and bring it into their own marriage relationship.

Parents' domestic violence may also lead to a serious lack of love from childhood, which will make children lose the ability to love others and even do not know how to love themselves.

Domestic abusers often have a strong desire for control and possession, which is somewhat similar to jealousy and is a sense of insecurity caused by self-distrust.

Perhaps from the outside world, they are a very good gentleman, and they are meticulous to their partners at the beginning of their communication, but in fact, this meticulousness is a manifestation of his desire for control.

It's just that many girls often mistake it for love in the early days of love, but slowly, as long as the woman doesn't want to, the domestic violence man will make her obey through violence to gain confidence and security.

The perpetrators of domestic violence are mostly men, because they believe in the concept that men are superior to women to a great extent, and regard domestic violence as a normal family rule or an effective means to force women to do what they say.

Therefore, usually domestic violence men don't know how to respect women, and they are too macho.

Generally speaking, empathy is the ability to put yourself in others' shoes. Unlike sympathy, empathy refers to the pain of others. People generally have basic empathy and will understand other people's feelings.

Domestic violence men generally lack empathy, so when punching and kicking their wives, they will not feel the pain caused by this behavior, but only care about their own feelings.

People who are prone to domestic violence generally have poor emotional control ability. When they encounter something unsatisfactory or hear an "insult" to themselves, they will lose their temper, just like the person who got the license as I mentioned earlier, because of a joke, they will break into a rage and hit people.

Girls should pay attention to each other's emotional changes when choosing objects. If they find violent tendencies, they'd better stay away.

The survey shows that men with domestic violence have greater mental stress and are prone to depression and paranoia; Or have mania, boredom, energy collapse, menopausal energy disease and other diseases. All these have led to domestic violence.

Research shows that men who have seen violence from their fathers and mothers in childhood are much more likely to commit domestic violence against their wives in the future.

Because children who grow up in this kind of family will be more likely to copy the relationship model of their parents and bring it into the future marriage relationship.

If girls find that the other family is prone to violent education, they should also carefully consider your development relationship.