Funny clips with pictures in WeChat Moments

There is never a shortage of jokes in our lives, especially in the circle of friends. There are countless, and it will be even more funny if they are accompanied by pictures. Here are the funny clips with pictures in the WeChat circle of friends that I have carefully compiled for you. Hope it helps!

Selected jokes from WeChat Moments

1. The turtle was injured and asked the snail to buy medicine. Two hours later, the snail still hasn't come back. The turtle became anxious and cursed: "If you don't fucking come back, I'll die!" At this time, a snail's voice came from outside the door: "Don't you ever fucking say I'm not going to come back!"

2. Dad After putting his son to bed, he returned to his bedroom to get ready for bed. "Dad!" the son shouted. "What's the matter?" "I'm thirsty, can you get me a glass of water?" "Didn't you drink just now? Go to bed, I've turned off the light!" Five minutes later? "Dad! I'm thirsty. Can't you get me a cup?" "Didn't I just say that! You ask me to beat you again!" Another five minutes passed? "Dad!" "What's the matter?" "When you came over to beat me. Be sure to bring a glass of water!"

3. When he was in school, one day Mr. A was in the dormitory preparing to change his pants. He had just taken off his belt, and unexpectedly several girls came in. He had no choice but to hold up his pants. Came to the dormitory next door. Just as he was unbuttoning and about to take off his clothes, several more girls came in unexpectedly. I had no choice but to hold up my pants and go to the door of the next dormitory. Because he was holding up his pants with both hands and was in a hurry, he had no choice but to kick open the dormitory door and shout at the same time: "Is there a woman in there? Is there a woman?" He saw a lot of girls sitting in the room, looking at him in horror. ?-

4. An old man was walking slowly along the street and saw a child standing on tiptoe trying to ring a doorbell, but he still missed the mark. So the old man walked over and said kindly: "Kid, let me ring it for you." With that, the old man rang the doorbell and didn't let go until he was sure that the people inside could hear it. At this time, the child said eagerly to the old man: "Let's run away quickly, quickly!"

5. A girl was very ugly and couldn't get married, so she hoped to be abducted and trafficked. My dream finally came true, but I couldn’t sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent her back, but she refused to get out of the car. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: "Let's go, I don't want the car!"

6. Robber: "If you are robbing, get down here!" When he looked at it, He saw a lady lying down and yelled: "Be civilized, I only rob money but not sex!"

7. The ugly man presented ninety-nine roses to the beautiful woman. A female colleague said, "Marry me! I love you!" Female: "Forget it! I don't feel it." Male: "Please tell me that's not good, and I'll change it." Female: "What do you like about me?" One point! I'll change it."

8. A brother was constipated and couldn't relieve himself in the toilet for a long time. When he was trying his best, he saw a brother rushing into the toilet like a storm and entered the toilet next to him. As soon as we entered the location, there was a really violent storm. The brother said enviously to the brother: "Brother, I envy you so much." The brother said: "Why are you envious? I haven't taken off my pants yet!"

9. A puppy climbed up on your dining table and crawled towards a roasted chicken. You said angrily: "Whatever you dare to do to that roasted chicken, I dare to do to you!" As a result, the puppy licked it. A slap on the chicken's butt will make you faint, and the puppy happily said: "Young man, let's see who is ruthless."

10. The sleep talk meeting in a boy's dormitory lasted until three o'clock in the morning. Suddenly he wanted to discuss a problem and "met a Beautiful girl, what should I say first?" A certain gentleman woke up from his dream and said: "Stop talking, let's go to sleep!"

Funny clips with pictures in WeChat Moments

1. A brother went to the toilet and accidentally entered the women's toilet. After entering, he found that there was no urinal, which felt wrong. Fortunately, there was no one in the toilet. He walked out as if nothing had happened. When I was opening the door, I met a girl coming in. The girl looked at him, blushed, lowered her head, turned around and went to the men's room?

2. The hunter saw a bird in the sky. , fired three shots and missed, but the bird still fell down. It turned out that the bird saw that the bullet missed, so he patted his chest and said: "I'm scared to death, I'm scared to death!"

3. A man was passing by a cemetery at night and saw a fire and thought it was a will-o'-the-wisp.

Then he threw a brick, and the fire moved to another grave. The man threw another brick, and then he heard: "Damn it! I can't even poop. I got two bricks in the same time as smoking."

4 .A woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man walking toward her with his arms open, making a hug, and then stepped forward and kicked him. The man fell to the ground and cried loudly, saying: "It's already the third piece of glass. Who did I offend? Is it so difficult to bring a piece of glass home?"

5. A novice went to collect loan sharks. He took out the IOU and said with a smile: "It is clearly written in black and white on the paper that you owe me 1 million! Do you want to default on the debt?" The person said that there was indeed not that much money, so he threatened: "Humph! Don't blame me for not reminding you! If you can't pay the money tomorrow, your house will be like this." He took out his lighter and burned the IOU?

6. An old farmer was hoeing the field, and a crow flew over. After pooping, it fell on the old farmer's face. The old farmer raised his head and cursed: "CAO, your mother! You don't even know how to wear underpants when you go out!" The crow said, "CAO! You poop in underpants!"

7. Robber: "Tell me the password to the safe, or I'll kill you!" Female staff: "I won't tell you if I kill you! I won't tell you if you messed with me!" The robber looked her up and down and said, "You What a beautiful thought!"

8. One day, the animals smelled a very bad smell in front of Guan Gong Temple. The snake said: "I am so young and would not fart such a smelly thing. It must be a cow." The cow said: "I am a grass eater, so I would not fart such a smelly thing." The pig said: "Whoever farts will definitely blush." ." Suddenly Guan Gong rushed out, knocked the pig away, and said, "I have told you so many times that I am naturally blushing."

9. Ge You invited his friends to dinner and went to the toilet on the way. By the time, a big piece of my pants was wet.

Friend: "Why are your pants wet?" Ge You: "It's often like this since I became famous."

Friend: "It's often like this?"

Ge You: "No! It's often the person next to him who is peeing and suddenly turns around and shouts: 'Yo! Isn't this Ge You?!?"

10. A woman was peeing in the toilet, and a drunk man was drunk. She entered by mistake and heard the sound of peeing. She hurriedly said: "Stop it, I really don't want to drink anymore!" The woman was frightened and did not dare to urinate anymore. She couldn't hold it in and farted. The drunkard said: "I'm KAO! Who the hell opened another bottle!"

Funny jokes in WeChat Moments

1. Once I suddenly remembered to go swimming, and I accidentally I bought a cheap pair of swimming trunks in the supermarket because there was no other color but red. As a result, I didn’t expect my swimming trunks to fade. When I was soaking in the pool, traces of red oozed out from my lower body, rippling in the water. An uncle swam past me and looked at the red “bloody water” under my body. ", and then looked at my naked upper body. For a moment, his expression was very contradictory?

2. Let’s talk about the one from my childhood! Everyone knows the big 28 bicycle with the beam! In the past, When I was four or five years old, I would sit directly on the beam of my father's bicycle, sideways. Over time, my feet would become numb, which was very uncomfortable! Finally, one time when I went to my grandma's house, I suggested sitting in the back seat, because that way my feet would not be strong. Damn! Agreed! Haha, let’s go!! What happened when we arrived at the destination? Dad forgot about me, took his legs off from behind, and then swept me off?

3. I heard from a friend that when he was in college, a boy with low EQ finally met a girl he liked, and the two of them just started dating.

Once the girl was sick, the boy accompanied her to the infirmary for a drip.

Ten minutes passed, and twenty minutes passed, but there was no movement.

The boy wanted to break the silence, so he asked: "Is it cold?"

"Cold"

"I'll cover you if it's cold?"

The girl blushed and whispered "Okay".

Then the boy stood up and covered the drip bottle with his hand.

4. When I was a child, I always bullied my younger sister based on how old I was. One night, my father came over to tuck us in, and he was surprised to find my three-year-old sister sitting upright in the dark and looking at me sleeping!

"Why aren't you sleeping yet?" Dad asked.

My sister hurriedly said: "Shh! Keep your voice down, and I'll beat her when she falls asleep!"

5. One of my classmates is a __ disciple, and I feel a little bit Obsessed.

The school has morning exercises, and he feels that teachers must also get up early to do exercises, otherwise it is unfair.

So I went directly to the principal to negotiate.

The principal was stunned for a moment and said: "Where did you come from?"

My classmate said lovingly: "I was sent by God to save you."

Principal: ?※()￥?※

6. This person is prone to hearing loss as he gets older. I remember when I was a child, at my grandma’s house, one morning my grandpa was about to go fishing. Interrupted the old man next door. The old man said to my grandpa: "Go fishing!" My grandpa said: "No! I'm going fishing." Then the old man said: "Oh, I thought you were going fishing?" Am I petrified?

7. I didn’t pay attention while washing the dishes and dropped the bowl on the floor. It was okay, but it only lost a corner on the edge and made a small gap.

Then continue washing the dishes. Without paying attention, my right hand passed through the gap and broke.

I just thought: Is it really that fast? My hands can break. Then I tried it with my left hand and it broke too.

I thought: It is indeed fast enough. If this bowl is used to eat, wouldn’t my mouth be in trouble? Then NC, I tried it with my mouth and my lips were also broken?

8. There was a couple on the bus. The woman let a pervert touch her while the boyfriend showed no expression. After arriving at the station, the boyfriend grabbed the pervert out of the car, beat him skillfully and then drove off with his girlfriend. A website analyzes the reasons for voting. 75% of people voted for "Is this guy waiting for his skills to cool down?"

9. There is a steamed stuffed bun shop near the subway station. The business is very good and people line up every day. Next to it is a train ticket sales point.

I was queuing up to buy steamed buns today. When I was about to get there, I heard two men behind me saying: "Hun, so this is a steamed bun shop. Where is the one selling train tickets? Ah, over there!" ”

10. I just sent a drunk guy home, and along the way he asked me to get a massage. When it was delivered to the door of his house, his wife opened it. My friend looked him up and down and said to me: "This? This? This lady looks like my wife, haha." I saw her wife's face twitching, and it was inconvenient to see me there. attack. Help him into the living room with me. He said he needed to go to the toilet, so he went in alone. As soon as he saw his wife, he answered the phone and slammed the door angrily and left. Just as I was wondering, this guy came out of the toilet and said to me: "I just called my wife and told her that she was working overtime at the company and wouldn't be going back."

11. Once I went to a dungeon to brush up against the Warriors. ?Half an hour passed, and suddenly a message came out on the loudspeaker that almost shocked me to death: Students of Zhejiang XX Mine Affiliated Middle School, the principal is here, run quickly?

12. Buy a pair of gloves, the boss charges 35 , I said I wanted 30, but the boss refused and insisted on 35. After talking for a few times and refusing to give in, I thought about it and let it go. I gave him 50, and he quickly found me for 35?

13. In high school, our toilet had a door with a spring that could return by itself, but it could only be opened inward, not outward.

Many people have a habit of kicking the toilet door open.

Most people kick at about knee height. I have a classmate who has practiced martial arts. Probably to show off, or to maintain his flexibility, he always raises his feet very high and kicks at about chest height. .

One evening, this person went to WC, walked to the door, and without thinking, he kicked it.

Our teaching director just finished his convenience, opened the door and walked out.

So our dean was kicked hard by my classmate and kicked back to the toilet?

14. I took my wife for a prenatal check-up in the morning, and after the blood was drawn:

Nurse: “Come and get the checklist on the 32nd.”

Wife: “January 32nd or February 32nd.

"

Me (weakly): "February 1st"

Nurse (sweat): "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

15 .I was on a plane a few days ago. When I got on the plane, I found a beautiful woman sitting next to me. According to the principle of striking up a conversation, I blurted out and asked: "Where are you getting off?"

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