Bullfrog's post-reading feeling

"The last time I saw that bullfrog, it was squatting in some dirty water, and its stomach could almost be filled with a ping-pong ball. Hunger and another unconscious pain filled the whole water tank, and the light was dim. It stands there like everyone's childhood. "

-countless nights that I can't pass. The rapid and sparse sound of cars seems to cover my eyelids. I was immersed in the darkness of the whole house, not silence but paranoia. It's all like bullfrogs, including my childhood. A bullfrog with a broken toe died before the wedding. It should have married a woman, but my childhood memory is a little brighter, probably just the luck of that half toe.

Sometimes I don't know whether the characters in Qian Hu's novels are crazy or normal, but my intuition feels normal.

Everyone is useless and always wants to smash something to prove the meaning of his existence. Even if it costs more than making better things, people have the inertia of being cheap, and people are too good at detouring to the opposite place.

The most terrible thing is that I can still laugh in this gloomy, strange and biting cold. This is not black humor anymore. His banter comes from a complete denial of his own life. His intention is not humor, but to make people laugh. This is terrible. Nothing is more terrible than this.

There is nothing sad about the whole book. Real despair and self-loathing, as well as the struggle with self-loathing as the starting point and purpose, are not worth being sad about. If anything, it's probably Li Kai's death, because he was gentle. If he doesn't die, he may "have his own life and family", because Chen Yan said "I want to live with Li Kai for a while", and his voice is a bit abnormal.

This man makes me sick, but there is no denying that he contains 80% tenderness in his book. Even if I'm not sure that the tenderness in this book is 100% full, he is dead, and the death of a gentle person is inevitable.

Moreover, I accept the fact that this place has been torn alive along the gap and broken like the body of a bullfrog. I don't accept a city flooded with feces.

The destruction of a city is pathetic, not to mention shit.

Civilization is a train jumping off a cliff beside a septic tank.

I am sad. I was trapped in the sadness of a gentle person's death, staring at the ceiling in a daze. The atmosphere can't be dispersed for a long time. I don't know what Li Kai was thinking when he walked up to the bomb, the bullfrog, or Zhang. These three kinds of existence are invisibly linked, which ruined his life, or he hated "I", and "I" finally gave him a push. Maybe he has been cheated many times in his life and suffered a lot of humiliation, but this time he should not be cheated, abandoned or laughed at when he thinks he is only one explosion and one bullet away from rebirth.

There are two happiest things in his life. First of all, in the days when he fell in love with Chen Yan, he briefly and wrongly washed away the shame of the past, because she was very kind to him. Second, before she died, she was made a wish to say "You are very gentle". I believe even strangers and acquaintances don't want to take responsibility and show kindness. She just felt it and couldn't hold back her mouth. She must speak her mind. Li Kai's life here has been terrible. His life is numb to humiliation. He won't get comfort from it. He can't hear it at all. These words are like passing wind from driving to drifting, so they didn't bring any light to his fate or even change "happiness". It can only be goodwill to readers. It can only make me feel cruel, cold, absurd, sharp, disgusting and disheartened as a reader.

I will never forget Li Kai, and I will always feel sorry for him walking towards the house near the explosion, burned all over and buried in the ashes. If I can, I also want to spend some time with him, because he is the only normal person. What does he live for? He hates himself. He has reasons and excuses. All cowardice, disguise and stupidity are more human. He is really useless and a burden, but he is much gentler. I am willing to live with a loser. At least he won't make the world better or worse. This is a contribution.