Why should we listen carefully to what others say?

In communication, sometimes listening to the other party is more important than talking about yourself. It is a good way to understand others. Charismatic people are mostly good at listening to others. People who are really good at listening to others can move them more than those who are good at speaking. The advantage of listening to others is that they can arouse the other person's sense of closeness.

In his book "Human Relationships", the American educator Dale narrated a short story of his personal experience. Once, the same celebrity was having a conversation at a dinner party. During the banquet, from beginning to end, he just played the role of listening to celebrities speak. Afterwards, the celebrity praised the host of the dinner party as "a very good conversationalist." After learning about this, I couldn't help being surprised and said: "I was just listening to him very seriously." We often hear people complaining, or we ourselves have been complaining: "Why is it so difficult to express yourself? I always He is so clumsy and not good at talking, so he can't get along well with others, and his interpersonal relationships are always difficult to deal with. "I think you should read this little story carefully.

People who are not good at talking are also people who are not good at listening to what others say. Because he cares too much about his own behavior in relationships, and is always thinking about it: he must not let the other party laugh at him, and he must speak more beautifully, otherwise he will not get the other party's recognition. On the other hand, he felt very distressed that what he said could not reach that ideal level. In this way, of course, you will not listen attentively to what the other person says, and you will inevitably ignore the other person. It is difficult to really listen to what others are saying. Instead, you will just nod your head casually and listen absentmindedly. Sometimes you don’t even wait for the other person to finish a sentence. He couldn't wait to speak it himself. This is a one-sided conversation that only requires the other party to listen to you. Our era is an era of self-promotion, that is, an era where everyone wants to promote themselves. If everyone wants to show off himself, naturally no one will listen carefully to what others say.

There is such a picture in the famous comic "The Evil Old Woman" drawn by Mr. Machiko Hasegawa of Japan. There was an evil old woman who broke into other people's homes and stole them. She first tied up the daughter-in-law of that family, then threatened her with a kitchen knife and said: "Do as I say!" In response, Nei Bai Zeyun said: "My daughter-in-law doesn't listen to me at all!" This picture The painting captures today's social conditions very accurately.

In fact, today most people only know how to promote themselves, and it is rare to see people who sincerely listen to each other's statements. Because of this, the advantage of being good at listening to others just mentioned is the most praiseworthy. To be a good listener is more attractive than any eloquent speaker, and it is also the most effective means to improve interpersonal relationships. How to listen to the other party?

Be attentive. Be focused and look attentive when listening. In order to show that you are paying attention to listening, you should exchange eyes with the other party more often, nod appropriately when others are speaking, and respond with "yes", "right", "oh" and so on. But don’t interrupt other people’s conversations easily, and don’t interrupt casually. If you have to interrupt, you must first apologize to the other person and obtain the other person’s consent, such as “I’m sorry, can I ask a question?” or “Please allow me to interrupt.” one time". Be humble. Respect the other person's point of view during the conversation. Even if you disagree with other people's views, do not interrupt others easily. If necessary, wait until the other person has finished speaking before clarifying your point of view. Especially when the other party has not fully expressed his meaning clearly, do not express your position easily, make random judgments, and do not criticize. Otherwise, it will make people feel that you have a sense of superiority, which will affect the progress of the conversation. Be patient. Be careful to control your emotions during the conversation. Sometimes you get bored because the other person speaks too long or talks about topics that you are not interested in. At this time, you must learn to control your emotions and do not let them show. You must listen patiently to what he has to say. This is respect for the speaker. . Especially when the other party has an opinion, listen patiently and provide the other party with an opportunity to vent their dissatisfaction. This will help solve the problem.