Funny copywriting that makes people happy in an instant

1. the Monkey King is so thin because he burned calories in the blast furnace of Taishang Laojun.

2. People must not mistreat themselves when they are alive. For example, losing weight is too far from me, and eating a bowl of meat is more practical.

It is not difficult to find a girlfriend these days, as long as you have food and shelter. Specifically: buy brand-name bags, eat delicious food and live in a big house.

In high school, everyone has a name tag. Before a ward round, the class teacher ran to the classroom and shouted, put on your bra and come to ward round … The whole room was silent …

I don't lack anything now except my boyfriend. As long as you can help me, you can get a girlfriend for free.

6. Marriage is like this. If you find the right person, you will have a romantic life together. I've got the wrong person. I've been talking about swords all my life!

When I was 7.5 years old, my goal was Ferrari. When I was 20 years old, my goal was Audi A6. When I was 25 years old, my goal was Geely Panda. The goal now is to get on the bus, have a place to sit and listen to music.

8. Failure is the mother of success. No one will always fail, just feel a little more maternal love.

9. Once a buddy said to his daughter-in-law: Hey, daughter-in-law, I had a divination two days ago. The old man said that I 135 years old has a hurdle. His daughter-in-law said: Why? The grave was dug?

10. After my wife disappeared, I immediately went to the police station to report the case. The policeman said to me, brother, calm down. If you laugh like that, we can't make a record.

1 1. Others are proficient in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting. I'm amazing. I fry, cook and eat everything.

12. When you feel that you have nothing, you have nothing to love. Look in the mirror, honey, you still have meat!

13. I heard that the leader is going to increase the fine, and I know that his private money was discovered by his wife again!

14. When my wife was pregnant, I called my father to report the good news and said excitedly, Dad, you are going to be a grandson!

15. I went to the barbecue yesterday and found that the meat was not cooked. I asked the boss what was going on. The boss said, "Maybe this meat has a strong desire to survive."

16. There must be a great woman behind a successful man, and there must be a group of unlucky employees behind a successful boss.

17. A woman's life-when she was a child, she was naughty, grew up in Taobao, worked in gold, married rice, and was eliminated when she was old. Women, act quickly while you are still young.

18. Don't think about marrying love or money all day. It is more likely that neither of them will get married.

19. The mother said to her daughter, "You should be obedient. Every time I make your mother angry, her mother grows a white hair. " The daughter enlightened: "Oh, no wonder grandma's hair is white."

20. My mother told me meaningfully that I was going out to work hard: "In today's society, opportunities are very important, as long as you can seize them. You are not far from success. So I went to the vegetable market and bought a chicken.

2 1. I just did a divination for myself. The five elements lack housing, life lacks land, Cary has money, and love lacks love. I pinch my fingers to count. This divination is really accurate. It hurts everywhere except nobody.

22. Dad looked me up and down and said, "Daughter, if only you were a boy, I can send you to the army!" " I asked with a smile, "Look at my heroic spirit. Am I a good seedling to win glory for my country? " Dad quickly waved and said, "no, I'm looking at your whole body." I'm afraid you'll never lose it alone, so I'll send you to the army! "

23. Would anyone like to walk into a small restaurant side by side with me, hold hands, roast a leg of lamb and have a hot pot? Not for eternity, just check out and leave.

24. I have to be scolded four times a day: I don't get up in the morning, I surf the Internet when I get up, I don't read a book for a day, and I don't sleep at night.