Ask for simple jokes, not too short!

Class joke contest? Then get them from several campuses ~ ~ ~ (those ABCDE are all names, make them up yourself)

Teacher: "Why are you late?"

Student A: "Because ... because, C fell down the stairs ..."

Teacher: "Oh! I see. C was injured, so you didn't come. "

Student B: "It's not ... it's D ..."

Teacher: "Why did C (a student) get hurt when he fell down the stairs?"

Student A: "Because .. Wei ate canned fish .."

Teacher: "What? .. what does that have to do with C falling down the stairs? "

Student B: "They fought over canned fish .. C fell and Nan was injured by C."

Teacher: "Oh ... so you didn't come to class because you sent D to the hospital?"

Student A: "No .. She went by herself."

Teacher: "Then why didn't you come to class?"

Student B: "Because ... because we overslept ..."

Teacher: "What does that have to do with ferrets falling down stairs! ? "

Student A: "No, I ... We just mentioned it by the way ..."

Before the exam, the teacher warned everyone: you can't cheat in the exam!

As the monitor, A immediately stood up and shouted: Yes! You can't just sit back and wait!

The whole class cooperated with each other and shouted, "You can't sit still!"

"Oh, what's the matter with you, teacher? Quick, quick, send, send to the hospital ... "

The exam is coming, and four people in A agree that one person will prepare an exam cheat sheet (that is, notes, you know ...).

The next day.

B: "I brought" Kill Song "to deal with math."

A: "I brought my family exam cheats, focusing on English."

C: "I brought Kao to deal with physics and chemistry."

D: "I brought a prayer bible. Amen ... "

D was dragged into the examination room that day. ...

Test Chinese.

B looked at the topic: Please write the next sentence of this poem.

The first sentence: ask how much you can worry about, and ask the second sentence.

B added: Like a red fork rolled up (original sentence: like a river flowing eastward)

The teacher rudely put an X on the paper.

B smugly said to others, "So my inspiration is good!"

Take the math exam.

D didn't know how to do an equation problem, so he wrote, "Only God can do this kind of problem. (After all, people pray ...) "

When handing out the paper, the teacher read it and said, "God 100, you get 0."

Test detective. Why did you take this exam? Don't ask me. ...

Question: What does it mean if the deceased sweats a lot?

A wiped the sweat from his forehead and wrote: This shows that he was taking an exam before he died.

Take the chemistry exam.

Q: ① and ② can be transformed into each other, ② can be generated in boiling water, ③ can be oxidized into ④ in the air, and ④ has the smell of rotten eggs. What is 123④?

C answer: ① chicken, ② raw eggs, ③ cooked eggs, ④ rotten eggs.

The teacher looked at the paper and smiled. ...

Take the law exam.

A's paper.

Q: What is the crime of fraud? Why?

Xiao Di replied: If I fail the exam, the teacher is cheating.

Reason: According to the criminal law, it is a crime of fraud to make use of others' ignorance to make them suffer losses.

The teacher was completely speechless. ...

Take the geography exam.

Q: Where is Brazil?

B answer: it's on page 80 of the geography textbook.

Teacher: @ # RMB%...&; *

Kaoshi

Q: Why does the body get cold after death?

C disagree: because peace of mind is natural and cool.

Everybody's crazy.

Candidate.

Q: What's the difference between a frog and a toad?

B answer: Frogs are conservatives, sitting in the well and watching the sky; Toad is an innovator and wants to eat swan meat.

(suggestion: the best teacher is not here ...)

The history teacher asked, "What did the ancient emperors call themselves?"

A: "I am alone."

The teacher then asked, "What does the queen call herself?"

A didn't know, and B jumped up and replied, "Widow."

In a Chinese class, the teacher explained four idioms to the students: "panic", "don't know what to say", "don't worry" and "as always".

As it happens, a classmate is sleeping soundly. As soon as the teacher struck the table, the students immediately sat up, picked up books and read. The teacher said, "This is panic."

Then, the teacher asked the students to answer questions, and he stood up and faltered for a long time. Then the teacher said, "I don't know this." Please sit down! " "

The classmate took a long breath and sat down. The teacher added: "This is a relief."

The teacher stepped onto the platform and the students fell asleep again. The teacher turned sharply and pointed at him and said, "This is as usual."

After the exam, three students began to complain.

A said, "I didn't do well in the Chinese class, and the teacher said I was a loser."

B said, "I can't keep up with physical education class. The teacher said I was a defective product. "

C said, "I failed the political class and the teacher said I was dangerous."

6. A said to B, "Do you know that 14 novels written by Jin Yong can be connected into couplets?" B disdainfully said, "Hey, isn't it just' flying snow shoots white deer and laughs in the sky, and fairy tales lean on the garden'?" A's eyes widened: "It's really worthy of being B, but do you know that J·K· Rowling's books can also be linked into one sentence?" ""I don't know-"B shook his head ..." I looked up and turned away, that is-hahahahahahaha! "

7. In class, the teacher is talking about the definition of intersection, and classmate A is fast asleep. ...

"One! ! "

"Ah ah? ! ! ! "A rose stood up.

"Please tell me what I just said ..."

"Uh ..."

The definition of "intersection! ! "B turned around and suggested.

"oh! Hmm (expressing hesitation, etc.) ...' Crossroads' (bananas) are very sweet and have a good therapeutic effect on constipation ... "

A flock of crows fly luxuriously.

8. The Chinese teacher talked with relish on the platform, and A slept with relish below, drooling while talking in his sleep. ...

The teacher was furious, jumped up and stretched out his hand to shoot. But the next second, he froze. ...

"Ah, stomach bleeding, quick, quick, go to the hospital! ! "The teacher gave a cry, and B shouldered A and rushed out.

At this time, A was awakened by this loud noise, rubbed his eyes and said vaguely, "What are you doing?" ? Hey, B, why am I on your back? "

"Your stomach is bleeding. We have to take you to the hospital. " The teacher said.

"No, I'm healthy."

"Then what's under your mouth?" Classmate C pointed to the corner of A's mouth.

A wiped it with her hand, looked at it and smiled shyly: "Well ... I ate coffee candy today ..."

Mass: ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

9. A classmate was sleeping in class ... and was found by a very mixed math teacher.

He was angry. Let A solve the problem in front of the blackboard. .....

If you can't write it, you are ready to expose his true colors in public.

In fact, the teacher began to sour A before he walked to the blackboard. ..

"I don't know who I am, but I dare to sleep in class. It's shameless.

Is the headmaster at home ... I will only sleep all day ... "

I didn't expect ... to write ... and the writing was beautiful. ...

The teacher is a little embarrassed ... so we have to put him back in his seat and leave him alone. ....

I didn't expect A to choke on the teacher. .......

I'm going to sleep first.

Ask me if there will be any in the future!

(suggestion: say it when the teacher is away ...)

10. The English teacher said in class, "Eyes should be like cameras, so you won't forget them when you look at them. One day, when the exam was over and many people failed, the teacher asked, "Didn't I tell you that your eyes should be like a camera?" " 」

A student replied, "Yes! But our negative hasn't been developed yet! 」