Don’t talk about divorce lightly anymore—Case Notes of the 69th Family Virtue Class of Anyang Lianchi Academy

Don’t talk about divorce anymore

——A brief summary of the 69th Family Virtue Class of Anyang Lianchi Academy

·Wang Chongyang

< p> If modern society is rapidly advancing and a large number of deviations from tradition have occurred, then the divorce rate, which has been rising year after year, must be the first to be selected.

Therefore, in the face of the "divorce crisis" in the current society, many people of insight and caring organizations are taking active actions and want to contribute to resolving this crisis. Henan Anyang Lianchi Academy is One of them. Anyang Lianchi Academy is a public welfare institution that responds to the call of the central government to inherit and spread the excellent traditional Chinese culture. It holds public welfare training courses on traditional Chinese family virtues all year round, teaching how to be a good person such as filial piety, loyalty, trust, etiquette, justice, integrity, and shame summarized by ancient sages, as well as how to be a good person. Code of conduct for a son, a good girl, a good husband, a good wife, etc.

To be honest, in the family virtues training class of Lianchi Academy, which has been held for more than 60 consecutive years, there have been a large number of cases where students who were about to divorce expressed that they no longer wanted to divorce after participating in the class; there were also cases There are cases of divorced students who want to remarry after attending the course, or who have resolved their resentments and restored their health.

On November 12, 2020, in the last half-day of the comprehensive speech and Q&A session of the seven-day 69th Family Virtue Charity Improvement Class at Anyang Lianchi Academy, several such cases appeared, which made All the teachers and volunteers were very pleased.

1. A 31-year-old male practitioner learned the "secret" to make his wife change his mind.

After a 31-year-old male practitioner from Handan City, Hebei Province came on stage, he said that he had known it before Traditional culture is amazing, but I never have time to study it. The reason why I came to study this time was because I came with a problem - my wife and I were divorcing. The root cause of his wife's divorce was herself, because he was discovered by his wife while he was dating other women online. She was very angry, so she started a divorce. Now she is living in her parents' house and will not go home.

This male student said that after participating in family virtue study, he realized that he had done something wrong and that his wife's divorce was caused by his lack of virtue. After returning home, he would take practical actions to make his wife change her mind.

The lecturer who was sitting in the audience asked the male student what he was going to do after he returned. The student said, I must follow the teacher's principles of life - look for the good in others and admit that I am not. The lecturer said, you are shouting slogans. The student smiled sheepishly and said, yes, I know I did something wrong, but I still need more guidance from the teacher on what to do after I go back.

The lecturer said, let me ask you, do you want face or family? Do you want family or face? The practitioner said that he wanted a family.

The teacher said that if you want a family, you have to do this after you go back: first admit your mistakes to your parents and parents-in-law. You indulged in online dating, which almost caused the family to break up, made your parents worried, and made your parents-in-law angry. This is a great act of unfilial piety. If your parents-in-law want to scold you, just accept it honestly. This is called "enduring hardship and suffering punishment". Not only must you accept it, but you must also sincerely admit your mistake. Then sincerely apologize to your wife and ask her to forgive you, do you understand?

The student said he understood.

The teacher then asked, do you have any children? The practitioner said that he has two children, one is seven years old and the other is four years old. The teacher said, do you want the child to find his biological mother or his stepmother? The male practitioner said, of course, he is looking for his biological mother. As soon as he finished speaking, there was a burst of laughter from the audience.

The teacher said that if you don’t find a stepmother for the sake of your child, you have to accept it and take the initiative to break the deadlock. If you are sincere, your wife will come back to you; if you are sincere, your wife will come back to you. The student said, OK. Then he was ready to step down. The teacher said, don't step down yet. I think you are a bit introverted. You may not be able to do what I say when you go back. You should practice how to apologize to your parents, parents-in-law, and wife on the stage now. If you can do it here, you can only do it when you go back.

The practitioner said in a higher voice on the stage, Dad, Mom, your son is unfilial and makes you worry. Father-in-law and mother-in-law, I'm sorry for you. Wife, I'm sorry for you. I am not a good man and have a hot temper. I hope you can forgive me.

As he spoke, he shed tears.

The teacher went on to say that when you admit your mistake after you go back, your parents-in-law and wife may scold you. You must remember not to be angry. Otherwise, others will think you are acting, and all your efforts will be wasted.

The student said, remember, I will definitely do it.

Seeing that he was so determined and learned the "secret" to make his wife change his mind, everyone happily gave him warm applause.

2. A 33-year-old female practitioner who had filed for divorce in court decided to withdraw the lawsuit immediately

A 33-year-old female practitioner from Linzhang County, Hebei Province came on stage and said that she had The mother of 4 children seemed to be very happy, but before she came to study, she had already sued her husband to the court for reasons that were inconvenient to express and was preparing for divorce.

The students in the audience were a little surprised when they heard this.

The female student went on to say that the reason why I came here was because of my mother’s strong recommendation. My mother is a veteran student here and also volunteers here. In the past, when my husband and I had conflicts, my mother would often reason with me and say that divorce was not a good idea. I understand all these principles, and I also know that divorce is not good, but I want to argue, so I insist on taking my husband to court.

After the complaint was submitted to the court, my mother insisted that I come here to study. After studying, I discovered that I am a very face-conscious person with a strong desire to compare. In fact, I don’t want a divorce, but why should I go to court to sue? I just want my husband to come to me, beg me and apologize, and then I will withdraw the lawsuit and go back to be reunited with him.

At this time, someone in the audience asked, why do you have four children at the age of 33? The practitioner said, I gave birth to three children at one time. The eldest was seven years old, the second was four, and the third was twins, two years old.

After listening to the female student's words, the lecturer asked, "You have four children. It's still the same old problem. Do you want your children to be with their biological father?" Or with your stepfather? The student said, "Dad."

The lecturer said, you want your child to live with his biological father, but you have already sued the child's biological father to the court. What should you do? The female practitioner said, I will withdraw the lawsuit when I get back, unconditionally. I now feel that no matter what kind of face, nothing else matters, only family is the most important.

Seeing her resolute attitude, everyone in the audience gave her warm applause.

But as soon as everyone encouraged her, she became excited, and she said the wrong thing when she was excited. She said loudly that she hoped that the young people in the audience would be "proud of me" and not make mistakes like mine. They must cherish their family and family ties and not divorce lightly. The lecturer in the audience corrected her and said, "You should take me as a warning." She has already sued her husband to the court. Can I still be proud of you?

When the teacher said this, the students in the audience burst into laughter. The female practitioner also smiled and said, yes, yes, take me as a warning, take me as a warning. With that said, he walked off the stage amidst warm applause and laughter.

The reason why the author also wrote this slip of the tongue joke is to tell everyone. Anyone who accepts the guidance of traditional norms of self-cultivation and moral integrity can cry truly and laugh truly. Such people are probably what we call "real people" in traditional culture.

To be honest, the scene of everyone laughing heartily at that time is very difficult to see on other occasions. As a traditional culture volunteer, the author always feels that that smile exudes the dazzling light after the awakening of life.

And this kind of laughter will appear frequently in the comprehensive speech session of every family virtues class in Anyang Lianchi Academy.

3. A 41-year-old female student who has been divorced sincerely admitted her mistake to her parents

There are about 60 students in this family virtues class ***, among whom the happiest The most popular one was undoubtedly the student whose family of five came to study together.

Why do you say that? Because it is so rare for a family to be able to spend seven days at the same time to participate in closed learning. If the whole family understands this, they will all establish the correct three views, and a harmonious life will be possible for the whole family. How can there be so many household chores that are difficult for honest officials to resolve?

This family is from Xiaogan, Hubei. They are a 63-year-old father, a 66-year-old mother, a 41-year-old eldest daughter, a 35-year-old son, and a 33-year-old second daughter.

Of course, the original reason why their family came to study together was to treat their 63-year-old father. The old father had been suffering from cancer for two years. A friend who had studied traditional culture recommended the family virtue class at Anyang Lianchi Academy, saying that if the old man could learn the traditional way of self-cultivation and morality and know how to behave, how If you admit your mistake, your illness may be alleviated or even cured.

So, they came to Anyang Lianchi Academy.

(1) Eldest daughter, divorce is the greatest unfilial piety

After taking the stage, the 41-year-old eldest daughter first picked up the microphone and talked about her feelings. She said that she originally came to Lianchi Academy with the purpose of improving her father's condition, but after participating in the study, she discovered that what needed to change most was her own personality.

What impressed her most was the filial piety lesson taught by the teacher in the class. She said that after listening to this filial piety lesson, she realized that divorce was the biggest unfilial piety. Parents are bound to worry because their children are divorced, and worrying parents is also an important reason for parents' illness.

After saying that, she stood in front of her parents, bowed three times sincerely to them, and said loudly: Dad, Mom, I was wrong, I shouldn't have divorced and made you worry.

After bowing, she said that she also felt deeply about the husband-wife ethics taught by Teacher Wang in the class. She said that Teacher Wang’s husband was extremely addicted to gambling, so Teacher Wang did not get divorced. Instead, she finally welcomed her husband’s changes with her own changes, and she was not as good as Teacher Wang. She said that she was very unkind to her husband. Even though her husband had many problems, she should not divorce him. After divorce, you should not feed your children with drugs and make them hate their father.

She said that through study, she finally understood the principle of "if I get better, everything will be fine". After she returned, she should fulfill her filial piety and educate her children well so that they can become useful to society. people.

Everyone gave her warm applause for her statement.

(2) The second daughter, son, and old man all understood the principles of life.

Later, the 31-year-old second daughter and the 33-year-old son also talked about their feelings. Their feelings were the same as their elder sister: they originally came with the mentality of accompanying their father to relax and treat his father's illness. After participating in the study, they realized that the one who needed to change the most was himself. I usually have many unfilial behaviors. I must correct them when I return home, fulfill my filial piety well, and let my parents spend their remaining years peacefully.

Afterwards, the 63-year-old father happily said that he was very grateful to the caring people for their dedication and allowing him to learn such a good lesson. He said that after participating in the study, he knew how to behave and how to be filial to his parents. After these few days of study, and using the principles I learned to deeply reflect on my previous behavior, I have discharged a lot of the long-term negative emotions accumulated in my body, and my body is much better. He said that when he first came here, he was very weak and would feel panic even when he went to the dormitory on the second floor. But now he doesn't panic at all when he goes upstairs.

Upon hearing this, everyone gave the old man warm applause.

At this time, the lecturer in the audience told the three children on the stage that when people smile, "gods" are born, and "ghosts" disappear when "gods" appear. When you go back, you should practice filial piety and make the old man happy. Although this is not a place to treat illnesses, it can teach you how to be a good person. People who learn to be a good person will no longer be angry, hateful, resentful, annoyed, and annoyed, but will become happy. As long as you are happy, your body will recover. The three children on the stage highly agreed with the teacher's words and nodded frequently.

Finally, amidst warm applause, the family of five happily walked off the stage.

In just three hours, ***30 students took the stage to speak. What they gained was inspiring, and they all made people feel the power and charm of the traditional norms of self-cultivation and morality.

The traditional norms of moral cultivation first tell us that there is a way to be a human being. If you are not in the way, you will be in the calamity. Only by following the norms of life summarized by ancient sages and sages can we live a harmonious family life in which father is kind and son is filial, brothers and sisters are respectful, husband is righteous and wife is obedient.

Today, due to space limitations, our small article only selected three cases from the perspective of "don't talk about divorce lightly" to show the charm of traditional culture. We hope it can inspire everyone. Everyone should try their best to take time to systematically study traditional moral standards, so that they can achieve physical and mental harmony, family harmony, and promote social harmony...