What do you mean by being a teacher?

Master?

Baidu Tieba has a translation team. . The words inside are very embarrassing

The source should make this joke

"Bald donkey! How dare you compete with a poor Taoist to steal the master's wife!" Full version [Reposted]

Part 1 , Regular version:

The editor has asked a certain martial arts author to write an article that breaks secular ethics and contains many years of grudges between Jianghu sects. At the same time, the plot must be gripping and full of bloodshed. A miniature martial arts novel like this is coming.

When I handed in the work the next day, the whole text only had ten words: bald donkey! How dare you compete with Pindao for the master's wife!

2. Evolutionary version:

Novel requirements:

1. It must involve three major sects at the same time

2. It must include Jianghu sects After many years of grudges and hatred, they have to break the secular ethics.

3. At the same time, the plot must be gripping, and bloodshed is about to come. People are extremely looking forward to the sequel of this novel, which also leaves a lot of suspense.

4. The shorter the better

On the second day, someone came to submit an article. The full text only had ten words:

Bald donkey, how dare you fight with a poor man? Master!

Editor's reply: There are indeed grudges, hatreds, and bloodshed, and it is short and concise, with a lot of suspense, but it has more than enough chivalry and not enough tenderness. Although they are children of Jianghu, they also have all kinds of tenderness.

Day 3, revised draft:

Master Tai, just give up being a bald donkey and follow a poor path!

The editor also said: Children of the world, tenderness Full of emotion and sadness. But still adhere to secular ethics.

Day 4, third draft:

Master, how dare you snatch a bald donkey from a poor man!

The editor thought twice and said: Break secular ethics It's a masterpiece, and the bloody storm is about to come. It's gripping and has a lot of suspense, but there's always something missing. . .

Day 5, final draft:

Monk: "Master, please obey the monk!"

Taoist priest: "Bald donkey, how dare you Fight the Taoist Master!"

The Master: "Monk and Taoist Master, please come together, I am in a hurry."

The editor was excited and said: There is no one before and no one since. A perfect masterpiece. There are years of sectarian grievances that are difficult to sort out, and a bloody storm is about to come; there is also entangled chivalrous tenderness, which not only breaks the secular ethics, but also shows the heroic spirit of the children of the world who do not stick to trivial matters. A masterpiece!!

3. Enhanced version:

Deep in the palace, two men and one woman, three figures jumped up and down, and then jumped into an open space at the same time. The man held a fly whisk in his hand, glared and cursed: "Bald donkey! You are so brave! How dare you fight for the master's wife with a poor Taoist!" The woman shouted anxiously: "Brother! You have been purified and have been in the palace for many years. We can't be husband and wife at all. , Why are you forcing yourself so hard?" He said, holding the man next to him tightly: "I only love him! He is the only one in my heart!" The man gently broke away from the woman's hand, took a step forward, and whispered. : "Daughter! Back off! Look at me killing this stinky Taoist priest today! To repay the hatred of taking his wife many years ago!" Seeing the two people they loved most fighting each other to the death, the woman helplessly sighed: "Don't fight, you two." Now, I already have the flesh and blood of my grandfather 9 years ago! The current little emperor is also my body. My body only belongs to him, you can go..." At this time, a handsomely dressed young man flashed out from behind a stone lion and sighed. "Queen Mother, I am indeed a man with cut sleeves, and I already have the love of Longyang with the monk Grandpa..." After saying that, she glanced at the Taoist priest from the corner of her eyes, and then lowered her head. After hearing this, the man with the fly whisk in his hand stood blankly for a long time. , said sadly: Okay, okay, okay, as expected, the way of heaven is cyclical, and the cause and effect is not good. Back then, I took your wife, but now you take my heart and soul, and in vain I wielded a knife and changed my gender. Qiao became an internal official and suffered the pain of being in the palace. The great monk seemed not to have heard the Taoist priest's words, but asked the woman in deep silence: Daughter, did you say that His Majesty had an affair with his father nine years ago? Is he alive or dead now? "Hahahaha" with ear-splitting laughter, a A lama in tattered clothes descended from the sky, "Bald donkey, the revenge of taking my wife has not been avenged, how can I be willing to go west like this?!!!"

4. Complete interpretation and analysis version:

Royal Palace Deep in the palace, three figures, two men and one woman, jumped up and down, and then jumped into an open space at the same time.

The man held a fly whisk in his hand, glared and cursed: "Bald donkey! You are so brave! How dare you fight for the master's wife with a poor Taoist!" The woman shouted anxiously: "Brother! You have been purified and have been in the palace for many years. We can't be husband and wife at all. , Why are you forcing yourself so hard?" He said, holding the man next to him tightly: "I only love him! He is the only one in my heart!" The man gently broke away from the woman's hand, took a step forward, and whispered. : "Daughter! Stand back! Look at me killing this stinky Taoist priest today! To avenge the hatred of seizing his wife many years ago!"

--------------- Interpretation : This paragraph contains a lot of information. We can simply draw the following points: first, the Taoist priest and the monk are love rivals, and both of them are in love with the master; second, the Taoist priest and the master are brothers and sisters; third, the monk and the master are father and daughter; Fourth, the Taoist priest robbed the monk's wife. The above is a simple inference, which is not difficult to derive from the literal interpretation. However, if we combine the second and third points, we can conclude that the monk and the Taoist priest are actually in a father-son relationship, and the monk's wife is also the wife of the Taoist priest and his wife. Mother, the Taoist priest snatched his mother from his father, so now the monk hates him very much, and now the Taoist priest falls in love with his sister Shitai, but Shitai falls in love with his father, the monk.

Seeing the two people they loved most fighting each other to the death, the woman sighed helplessly: "You two, stop fighting. I already had the flesh and blood of my grandfather 9 years ago! The current little emperor is also me. My body only belongs to him, you go away..." At this time, a handsomely dressed young man flashed out from behind a stone lion, sighing: "Queen Mother, I am a man with cut sleeves, and I have already had Long Yang with Grandpa Monk. So good..." After saying that, he glanced at the Taoist priest from the corner of his eyes, and then lowered his head. After hearing this, the man with the whisk in his hand stood blankly for a long time, and said sadly: Good, good, good. Sure enough, the way of heaven circulates, and the cause and effect is not good. Back then, I took the Your wife, now you are robbing me of my heart, and I have sex in vain with a knife. Qiao is an internal official and suffers the pain of being in the palace. The great monk seemed not to have heard the Taoist priest's words, but asked the woman in deep silence: Daughter, did you say that your majesty had an affair with his father nine years ago? Is he alive or dead now?

------ -----Interpretation: With the previous analysis, it is not difficult to understand this paragraph. Although Master Tai is currently in love with his father, a monk, a few years ago, he had an affair with his grandfather (also the grandfather of a Taoist priest)------ It was the monk's father who had a shady behavior and gave birth to a little emperor. The little emperor had a broken arm and his lover was the monk's grandfather (to be precise, it should be the monk's grandfather). However, judging from the way he glanced at the Taoist priest, the little emperor The relationship with the Taoist uncle is also unusual, but because the monk is present and he is afraid of jealousy, he cannot declare it verbally. He can only express his feelings with his eyes. The Taoist's heart-throb, on the surface, is the master's wife, but in fact he refers to his wife. Little Emperor, and the only people present who could understand the true meaning of these words were the Taoist priest and the Little Emperor. This understanding also corresponds to why Taoist priests came from the palace to serve as internal officials. In fact, it was for the sake of the young emperor, not for the master's wife! As for the fight between the monk and the Taoist priest at the beginning of the novel, after analysis, I think it was the monk who started it in retaliation for taking away his wife. The Taoist priest scolded the monk for stealing his wife, and he probably used himself to enter the palace because he was too affectionate with his teacher. In the future, he will cover up the fact that he and the little emperor have broken arms.

"Hahahaha" with the ear-splitting laughter, a lama in tattered clothes descended from the sky, "Bald donkey, the revenge of taking my wife has not been avenged, how can I be willing to go west like this?!!!"

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------------- Interpretation: At this time, the result is already obvious. The lama and the monk have a father-son relationship, and the monk robbed the lama's wife, who was his mother.

The above is not the final result. If the above result is correct, then there will be two characters who have never appeared in the dialogue in the novel. One is the monk's wife and the other is the lama's wife. However, this article will never involve it in the dialogue. In fact, all the characters appeared! ! ! The final result is that Shitai is both the wife in the monk's mouth and the wife in the lama's mouth! ! ! The complete analysis is as follows: The Taoist priest and the master are the sons and daughters of the monk, and the master and the monk LL (the woman who gave birth to the Taoist and the master are not mentioned in the conversation, which means that the wife mentioned by the monk is not the mother of the master, but the mother of the monk). The monk is the lama's son, the lama and the master's granddaughter are also LL (the wife mentioned by the lama is also the master, not the monk's mother), and the Taoist priest and the master are brother and sister LL (the Taoist said the wife is the master's mother) (his wife is also a master), so three generations of lamas, monks, and Taoist priests regard a woman as his wife at the same time. Therefore, the Taoist priest and the monk think that the other has taken his wife, and the lama thinks that the monk has taken his wife. . The lama and his master's granddaughter LL gave birth to the little emperor. The Taoist priest did not get the master's wife, so he fell in love with the little emperor, so he did not hesitate to enter the palace and became a eunuch (Taoist No. 0, little emperor No. 1, so the Taoist's absence from the palace did not affect the two of them. Relationship) to get close to the little emperor, but the little emperor also had a good relationship with the monk. After emerging from the stone lion, he admitted his relationship with the monk, but was unwilling to disclose his relationship with the Taoist priest. So the two talked in argot to reveal information to the reader.

Note: LL in this article is the abbreviation of luanlun

5. Embarrassing version:

Version 1 Love triangle: Thief! How dare you compete with me Tai.

Version 2 Brokeback Mountain: Thief nun, how dare you rob the abbot from the Taoist master!

Version 3 Brokeback Mountain with an affair: Bald donkey, how dare you rob the poor nun Master Tao!

Version 4 The loyal Brokeback Mountain: The dead thief Ni. Do not want to destroy the relationship between Lao Na and Master Tao!

Version 5 The long-lasting love between classmates: Senior brother, Just follow the old monk

Version 6 All gods are lawless: You thief! How dare you snatch the priest from the Taoist master!!

Version 7 Plot continuity: Master, just follow the law Please spare me... Master, please spare me~~