Classic joke

Because this is a bad day (devil and angel pull ~! Bad weather for short. . . . Why do I think this is strange? But being called a magic messenger is worse. . . All right, let's get off topic. I made a fool of myself for the first time, so that's all the nonsense.

1. One day, two ice creams competed for swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming until the last two ice creams melted.

2. Four people are playing mahjong in the room. The police came, but they took five people. Why? Because the person they play is called mahjong.

Xiaoming stepped on the stool, why didn't he get his shoes dirty? Because he has no shoes ~ (cold ~)

6-year-old Xiao Fang is very cute and is often proposed by boys in her class. One day, Xiao Fang came home and said to his mother, Mom! Today, Xiao Qiang proposed to me, proposed to me. Mom casually said, does he have a regular job? Xiao Fang thought about it and said that he was responsible for cleaning the blackboard in our class.

Xiaoming has just entered primary school, and his mother is very nervous about his grades after his first monthly exam.

Mother: Xiao Ming, how did you do in this exam?

Xiaoming: Ouch! Those are the extent of lying to children!

Mother listened to a burst of secretly pleased, must have done well in the exam to say so, and then asked.

Mother: So you did well in the exam?

Xiaoming: I was cheated because I was a child ~

6. Once upon a time, there was a stray dog. In order to maintain his life, he searched around the street for food. He walked through countless cities and streets. Finally, he came to a desert. He wanted to cross the desert, so he walked and walked, tired and thirsty. Finally, he lay down and said, why am I as tired as a dog?

7. Zhu Xiao was invited to Xiaowen's house. . . .

At Xiaowen's home, I saw Xiaowen calling his wife "dear".

Zhu Xiao was very moved by this scene and said, "You are not easy! After nearly 10 years of marriage, you still call your wife so sweetly. . . . . 」

"Actually," Xiaowen whispered, "I have forgotten her name for a long time. . . . 」

Patient: "Doctor, I have a bad cough. 」

Doctor: "How old are you? 」

Patient: "75 years old. 」

Doctor: "Do you cough at the age of twenty? 」

Patient: "No cough. 」

Doctor: "Do you cough at the age of forty? 」

Patient: "No cough either. 」

9. Doctor: "Then don't cough now. When do you cough? 」

A mental hospital was clamored to be discharged by a group of patients, and the dean relaxed the rules. All patients who want to leave the hospital must pass the following examination: Dean: Where are the eyes?

Patient: Here are the eyes (pointing to the eyes).

Dean: Where is the nose?

Patient: This is the nose (pointing to the nose).

Dean: Where are the ears?

Patient: The ear is here (pointing to the ear).

As long as the position can be correctly pointed out, the patient can leave the hospital.

One day, Patient A applied for discharge and passed the above test, so he happily went back to the ward to pack his bags and prepare for discharge. Patient b in the same ward cried in surprise, "impossible, impossible, your condition is worse than mine, and I can't pass." How can I live? " "Patient A said," Shh ~ Don't tell anyone, I'll use my back!

One day, Mr. Wang found his 5-year-old son Xiaoming a little strange.

Towards evening, he stood by the window waving his hand, as if he were still mumbling.

Mr. Wang quietly walked behind Xiao Ming, but he heard Xiao Ming say goodbye, goodbye.

Mr. Wang looked out of the window, but there was no one. It has been like this for several days in a row. At this time, Xiao Ming stood at the window, repeating the words that made Mr. Wang creepy.

Finally, Mr. Wang couldn't help it. He called his son over. Xiao Ming, who do you say goodbye to at this time every day?

Grandpa. Xiao Ming looks naive. Mr. Wang's scalp exploded as soon as he heard it. Which father-in-law is it?

Grandpa sun ~

1 1. Neighbors went to the pavilion near the market to take a snapshot and a bust. She went into the pavilion, took a photo and waited for the photo to develop automatically. She picked it up and exclaimed, "My God, my photo looks like a monkey!" " ! A woman behind said coldly, "I'm sorry, that's mine." Yours will have to wait for five minutes. 」

12. A father told his son a story: Once upon a time there was a frog.

Son: Are there any science fiction stories?

Father: Once upon a time there was a frog in space.

Son: Do you have any restricted classes?

Father: shh ~ keep your voice down so that mom can't hear you. Once upon a time, there was a frog without clothes (cold ~ cold ~)

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