I used to be very kind and kind, but now I have no sympathy at all. I always think about how to get back at others and become more and more ruthless and worse.

I remember reading a report that a woman was always abused by her husband, but this woman never resisted, was also very kind to her husband, was always content with perfection, and finally almost got divorced after an accident in her life. The interviewer asked her if she loved her husband so much and why. She said that she had read fairy tales since she was a child. Fairy tales say that a kind heroine can finally touch an indifferent hero with love, and finally the two of them are happy together (in fact, this should be regarded as a bridge in a romantic novel), so she thinks that her husband will be touched one day. In fact, in my opinion, she loves not her husband, but an imaginary husband who can love herself. I hope others can love themselves as she loves others.

In that case, why not let yourself love yourself and rely on unpredictable others? Therefore, this kind of person who is kind to others and eager for others to find out that he is good is actually loving himself, but he just doesn't know how to love himself. Just like human beings, in fact, to enjoy the beauty of nature, we should conform to nature, not conquer it; People want to make themselves comfortable, what they have to do is to conform to their own hearts, not to force themselves (can you understand? In fact, a more popular explanation is that if you deliberately force yourself to be nice to others, then you will subconsciously feel that you want to get a reward, otherwise you will feel that you have been disappointed and will be sad. Do it yourself, help if you can, and don't be forced if you can't. If you do what you can, you won't feel tired, and you won't feel how cheap others are. )

If you start to feel weak, it must be because you obviously don't want to help, but you are afraid that others will be unhappy and then you don't like yourself, so you reluctantly help yourself, but in fact others take your help for granted, so you regret why you are so unambitious. So when you figure this out, you will know that even if you are timid, you can't change anything, but make yourself small, so you become indifferent again.

But your nature is kind, and you will feel guilty when you are indifferent. I think the reason of guilt should be: every time you treat others coldly, you will subconsciously think of yourself in the past. You killed the expectations of others, so you killed yourself who hoped others would be good to you. At first, you didn't want others to do that to you, but now, in order to protect yourself, you are repeating history, but your position is reversed. Think about why we sometimes cry when we sympathize with others. Compassion is thinking that if you are in the same situation, you are actually crying for yourself.

Isn't there an angel and a devil living in people's hearts? You like angels, but the devil exists to protect you. The devil actually comes from an angel who loves you. There is a disease called "character". If it reaches the point of personality, it is already very serious. People who are judged to have personality do not know each other's personality. In other words, this personality is kind, he will do good, that personality is evil, and he will do bad things. So there was a case where a man killed someone, but he was usually a very kind person and no one else believed him. This situation is terrible because it is already a mental illness. ...................................................................................................................................................................

We often hear the word dual personality. The so-called dual personality is also two extremes, one is good and the other is evil, but we are conscious of this person and will struggle internally. -So thank you for still struggling. You are aware of your behavior. There are four results of your struggle: First, you have been struggling without results; Second, the main personality becomes an angel; Third, the main personality becomes the devil; Fourth, find a balance point. You will never suddenly become someone who doesn't know what you have done and can't believe it.

At the beginning of life, human nature is good. Let me talk about the original "angel" in human heart. People's initial character is simple. Babies cry when they are unhappy, laugh when they are happy, and never wronged themselves. He conforms to his own heart, so babies are generally happy. Have you ever seen a melancholy and indifferent baby? (Ha ha, just kidding, if there is, then he must have crossed over or been reborn. ) when I grow up, even if my appearance will be disguised, my heart will not change. When we are happy or sad, our hearts will directly reflect it.

Divide people into external and internal. Generally speaking, the external self is educated and good at camouflage, which is called rationality. When reason is the dominant component, it will be polite, but if it is polite, it will appear cold-blooded; Intrinsic, it is the most primitive nature of human beings, which is the so-called sensibility. If the sensibility is not pure, it is also good, because the perceptual self is simple, easy to be happy and kind-hearted, but at the same time it is easy to get angry and like revenge. Good self and self with anger, jealousy and revenge are not two self. In fact, both belong to the branch of sensibility. Just like the opposite of love is not hate, hate is love, and the opposite of love is indifference. Rationality, on the other hand, is hurt when it is emotional (the more rational people are, the greater the emotional loss), and people come out for self-protection, so personality is definitely the opposite of emotional self. Perception is innate, and reason is acquired. If you let yourself go too far, you will become cold-blooded after a long time, avoiding the possibility of others hurting you, but at the same time losing the opportunity that others bring you happiness. If you let your sensibility go, you may do things without thinking because of impulse. (purely personal behavior, I don't assume any official responsibility ...)

Simply divided into several categories:

Sensibility: gratitude, revenge

Rationality: politeness and indifference

Generally speaking, we directly classify all good emotions as "angels" and bad emotions as "demons". The biggest drawback of this is that people mistakenly think that angels and demons are two "I's" and desperately want to get rid of one of them (indeed, some people want to get rid of "angels" because demons are derived for their own protection, allowing the idea of "only allowing me to be negative about the whole world, not allowing me to be negative about the whole world". ) If you are in the wrong direction, you will struggle, and you will desperately feel that you are too weak or too evil. This is not right! People are not distilled water, how can they be so pure without any impurities? If you drink too much distilled water, your immunity will drop and you will get sick easily! Where there is good, there is evil. You are very emotional and easily moved. That's for sure. You are easily hurt and bear grudges. In nature, positive and negative poles cannot exist alone. The magic of people is that you can have one main personality or many sub-personalities. In fact, every emotion is a character, but it is obviously indistinguishable.

Did you unload a little inner baggage when I said this? The more angels in your heart, the more devil you are. The only way is to keep yourself in balance, so that if you are not so angel, you will not be so devil, hehe. As can be seen from the doctrine of the mean and Tai Chi, in fact, the ancients have almost realized this truth. If you are not an extreme person, extremes will be reversed. I have a mantra: no desire is rigid, only after easy folding. Think of yourself as a mortal. Selfishness means selfishness, generosity means generosity, indifference means indifference, and kindness means kindness. As long as you are in live high's heart and stick to your principles, everything is up to you. People, if you take others as a reference, you will always be yourself, of course you can't control yourself; If you take yourself as a reference, then you just don't move, and others care how he moves. You can't get on the roller coaster and blame yourself for turning around with it, can you? The universe is in your heart.

There are ways to learn and ways to live. What you can't get through is actually a hurdle in your heart.

Don't worry about philosophical idealism and materialism. Isn't that what people came up with I don't think anyone should be right or wrong, because the two complement each other. Isn't it also said that things that are too absolute are not necessarily accurate? Why do you think that philosophy and man are harmonious? The ancient emperor was the "son of heaven", or later used Buddhism to control the devout Buddha. The same is true of modern times. To control the people's thoughts is to control the whole people. Some people say that idealism is not established, so why criticize idealism with the view that the ancient emperor controlled the people? Doesn't that mean it's established? This is a contradiction. Of course, I'm not criticizing badly. I just want to point out the background of the philosophy we have studied. It is for the purpose, but it does not point out the direction for the trivial things we encounter in our lives, nor can it solve the problems we actually encounter. If we can't see or touch our own thoughts, we should feel for ourselves and find a life path that suits us.

Finally, anyway, I hope the landlord is happy. If there is pain, don't care too much. Don't think that happiness is short-lived and pain is permanent. Actually, it is relative. People will not become good people because they gave a beggar a dollar, nor will they become Jiang Yang thieves because they stole a dollar. Man, this universe is really small. Isn't there good and bad in the universe? Don't be too absolute There is a joke that Lei Feng never leaves a name when doing good deeds, but writes it in his diary, hehe. And his advantages. So, landlord, explode your little universe, volatilize your energy, think about what you should care about most, then move towards your goal and ignore these unhappy things!

Although you are a single parent, you should get along well with your mother. The tree wants to be quiet, but the wind will not stop. Children want to raise, relatives are not there. Life is so short, shouldn't we think about how to spend it happily? The good and the bad will eventually go with the wind.

Ps: Tell me if you are unhappy in the future. Good ideas will come out, and there are many bad ideas. Haha, we should all live happily.