Ask for jokes, jokes ~

1, woke up my husband in the morning and he said, "You are dressed so neatly, where are you going today?"

I got angry at once and pulled my ear directly: "Can you open your eyes and have a good look?

I wear pajamas and say it's neat? Don't delay if you have nothing to say, get up quickly! "

2. The seven-year-old daughter is fighting with her mother. The daughter came to her father in tears and said:

"Mom lectured me, you help me talk about her."

Dad: "I dare not."

The daughter walked to the door with tears in her eyes and turned back and said, "Bear, I can't point at you at the critical moment!" " "

3. Colleagues were on a business trip, and local colleagues were hospitable. They hosted a banquet in characteristic hotel's private room that night.

After sitting down, a dozen men and women have been chatting, and only one person is ordering.

After ordering, I asked everyone's opinion: "The food is ready. Is there anything else to add? "

In this case, in Beijing, we usually ask the young lady to quote the name of the dish she ordered.

So a buddy in Beijing said, "Miss, report it."

Miss saw his one eye, nothing happened.

"Miss, report it!" Dude, it's a little urgent.

Miss face flushed, still nothing happened.

"What? Let you report that you didn't hear it? " Dude, it's really urgent.

A female colleague hurriedly dozen circle field: "Miss, please report one by one, ah."

The young lady mumbled something and asked, "So, so ... is it okay to hold a woman instead of a man?"

"poof!" A female colleague just took a long sip of tea and sprayed it all on the person in front.

A dozen people laughed together. . .

In class today, the teacher talked about the environmental problems in China, and the atmosphere was dignified.

Then he put a picture of a red tide and suddenly struck the table:

"Classmates, how did our environment become like this? How did the blue sea turn red? Have you thought about it? "

Everyone was silent, and suddenly a word came from the corner: "It should be a mermaid's period!" "

Then the whole class laughed and the guy was asked out of the classroom. ...

I once fell in love with a beautiful female netizen hopelessly, but I was rejected when I confessed to her.

She said it was for my own good, and I always thought it was just her excuse until I met her without makeup.

There are still many good people on the Internet. ...