Jokes that instantly make your boyfriend happy

The production team killed geese to celebrate the New Year. The team leader wrote a notice, writing the word "goose" loosely, and it became: "In the afternoon, men kill my birds, women pluck my bird feathers, and in the evening, men, old and young, come to eat my bird meat." ! You can also eat my bird eggs!” Here are the jokes I compiled for you to make your boyfriend happy. I hope you like them.

1. I booked a room with a female hotelier. I just took off my pants and the female hotel room suddenly fainted. After various rescues, she finally woke up and asked her what happened, but she refused to say anything. Damn it. ...What's going on?

2. I went shopping with my wife, and when I was paying, I talked nonsense with the cashier lady. My wife was unhappy and said, "Virtue!" Get a discount!" "You've already paid, why do you still need someone else's phone number?" "If there is an after-sales service or something in the future, I can easily contact you!"

3. You said money can't buy time? "Network administrator! Add two dollars." You said money can't buy love? "Mother-in-law, this is my gift.

4. I heard that women like to hear men say "just swipe", so I waited until After dinner, I said to her: "Take it and brush it as you like!" My wife threw the rag on my face. Why is it so difficult to make my wife happy!

5. Me When this person encounters someone doing something stupid, or when someone is about to meet me, I will shout: "Brother". That day I went to the gas station to refuel my motorcycle. After filling up the gas, I started the car. I was about to leave, but suddenly a mad dog from nowhere ran under the wheel of my car. I yelled: "Brother! What did you do?" After shouting, I regretted it! The younger sister who was cheering covered her mouth and started violently with the people next to her. Laugh!

6. One day, Doufu was wandering on the street and met Vinegar. Doufu said jokingly: "What a sour smell. Are you trying to sow people's feelings again?" Vinegar got angry. Just mix the tofu!

7. Once, on the subway, an old man next to me stared at me for a long time and suddenly said to me: "Young man, look at your face and your weight." It should be eighty kilograms!" I was shocked at the time! I said: "Uncle, you are so accurate. Can you help me check my fortune this year?" The uncle replied: "Look at you, uncle! You stepped on it. My feet are broken!"

8. I wanted to ask a girl out that day. I had been thinking about it for a long time before calling, but it turned out that the call was answered by her father. I got excited and said: Hello, uncle, is aunt at home? ?I want to ask her to come out and play.

9. The milk business is the most secure in this era. The milk is fresh when it is squeezed out. After a long time, the water evaporates and can be used to make cheese. I really don’t pay attention to the milk. The water evaporates, and what's left is milk powder. The small bottles can be sold as pure milk, and if you put it in sugar, it will become toffee. Even if the milk goes bad over time, you can still make yogurt. You see how good the milk business is. It’s not a loss.

10. When I run every morning, the old man fishing by the river is afraid that I will scare away his fish by running too fast, so he greets me from afar: Why are you running so fast so early? I’m afraid he won’t listen. If not, walk up to him and say loudly: Go get some soy sauce!

11. The reason why I haven’t blocked you yet is that I can see how miserable you are when you are feeling down, and then instantly Full of energy.

12. One day, I had agreed with the people in the dormitory not to go to class, but the teacher called on me and my classmate replied: "Sick leave". At this time, I was idle in the dormitory and decided to go. I happened to approach the classroom when I was in class, and the teacher said, "Your illness will be cured so quickly."

13. A couple took a train. After the train passed through a long and dark tunnel, the man said, "I should have kissed you if I had known the tunnel was so long." The woman screamed: You were not the one who kissed me just now?

14. Appearance is not important. Love is about feelings, but people have no feelings about ugliness.

15. The master thief and his apprentice sneaked into a room at night and opened many safes, but found that they were all empty. The thief's apprentice said: "Master, why are all the boxes empty?" The thief's master said: "According to my experience, this is a safe warehouse."