Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - When people ask you what you are doing, you tell jokes about the construction team.
When people ask you what you are doing, you tell jokes about the construction team.
People ask you why you are making jokes about the construction team
Employee: "Boss, please take a leave."
Boss: "Why are you going?"
Employee: "My girlfriend is pregnant and I want to accompany her to have an abortion!"
Boss: "That's a good thing. Why do you have to have an abortion? Just keep it!"
Employee: "I will definitely keep it when she gets pregnant with me next time!"
Boss. . . Cutting nails and telling human jokes
A man was about to jump off a building, and his wife shouted: My dear, don’t be impulsive, we still have a long way to go! After hearing this, the man jumped down. The policeman said: "You really shouldn't threaten him like this!" Kaiyuanxi's series of jokes
The warden asked: "Why did you escape from prison?" The fugitive: "Because the prison food is so bad." Warden: "What tool did you use to escape from prison?" Fugitive: "Bread slices" What does the foreman of the construction team do?
The foreman is a small team leader in charge of the migrant workers below. He also has to work, but his salary is higher than that of the migrant workers. He will pass down the orders to the boss on whatever work he wants to do, but he can be lazy. The foreman is also responsible for recording workers' attendance. To put it bluntly, it is like a company secretary connecting the past and the next. People always ask you what you are doing at home?
I wanted to chat with you but didn’t know what to say, so I asked you what you were doing.
Orcai, afraid of disturbing you, will know if you are free to chat with him by asking where you are.
Anyway, I want to chat with you. . .
What is the Silk Road Hero Building Queue used for?
Yes
No, at most 3 buildings can be upgraded in the inner city and outer city.
Some props can improve the building queue on China Mobile Construction Team What does the branch manager do?
The Directory Manager (PIM) service is China Mobile's own data service product.
PIM is a way for users to keep the information (address book, schedule, etc.) in the mobile terminal consistent with the computer or mobile network server in a wireless or wired manner, and can use it on the mobile phone or computer terminal. Online, the business of querying and managing information through mobile phone menus, websites, WAP, SMS, etc.
Advantages
1. Wireless backup, safe and reliable
Customers can store all address book information completely in the "Directory Manager" central database. Even if the phone is lost or the SIM card is damaged, the address book will not be lost.
2. Respond promptly and follow you wherever you go
The "Book Butler" provides customers with 24×7 personalized services throughout the year. Customers can easily manage their personal address books even if they don't carry their mobile phones.
3. Massive storage, unlimited expansion kit
The storage capacity of "Directory Manager" is 20M, which can store tens of thousands of address books, and the space can be infinitely increased according to customer requirements. .
4. Powerful and highly intelligent
"Directory Manager" focuses on managing customers' address book services, and can perform backup, recovery, and overall copy of the address book; It also extends a series of new services, such as holiday reminders, birthday/anniversary reminders, schedule management, electronic business card management, etc.
5. High security, foolproof
"Directory Manager" ensures the foolproofness of users' address books through strict server security protection and data backup measures. Customers can also perform complex encryption on their address books to ensure that their account numbers and passwords are not stolen. People ask me what I want to do.
When it comes to work, only by experiencing it a few times will you know what kind of job you are ultimately suitable for. Some cold jokes that ask other people questions
In English, they are called The bad Joke or The cold joke
Definition 1: The person telling the joke is very calm and basically expressionless. The listener should be stunned for a moment after hearing the joke, and think about it until the joke becomes funny.
Definition 2: Cold jokes generally go beyond conventional thinking, do not conform to logic and reality in life, and make people feel stunned; although some cold jokes are quite funny, no matter what, this kind of joke is not easy to listen to You won't laugh as much as you would at a "normal" joke; brainteasers are just a bad joke. (Especially the kind of guessing idioms that use homophones, English, etc., and the kind of guessing games like peanuts and butterfly love flowers).
Definition 3: A cold joke is a joke that is not funny at all, a very boring joke, but it can achieve the purpose of mental relaxation, because this kind of joke is easy to understand and easy to understand, but it can The aftertaste is long.
Definition 4: A cold joke refers to a joke that was originally funny due to problems such as homophones, translation, omission of the subject, different logic, predicates and special content, or due to the performer's tone or expression. The joke feels different than the average joke and is harder to laugh at. Cold jokes do not mean they are not funny, they are also a manifestation of humor. Sometimes the fact that a joke is not funny is part of the punchline of the joke.
Definition 5: A bad joke (called a bad gag in Hong Kong and a bad joke in Taiwan) is a type of failed joke. It refers to the fact that the joke itself has homophones, translations, omission of the subject, or differences in the jokes. Problems with logic, diction, special content, etc., or due to reasons such as the performer's tone or expression, cause an originally funny joke to fail to achieve its purpose of being funny, making it difficult to make people laugh and leading to a dull moment. However, this does not mean that the joke itself is boring. This is also a manifestation of humor. Nowadays, most people will smile knowingly when they hear cold jokes, and sometimes they will hug their arms tightly to express: "It's so cold!" or speak and express with cold connotations, such as cold shock, temperature, air conditioning or hot weather, etc. wait.
Some cold jokes only have performance problems. After re-conceptualizing the performance, many subtleties can be discovered. Sometimes the suggestion that a cold joke is not funny is another funny point of the joke (it is simple and very good at the same time. To change the atmosphere), cold jokes are now widely popular in the Internet, BBS, TV programs (variety shows), books, magazines and other media, and there are many masters of cold jokes in the market.
Since the second half of a joke is always surprising, the more people who have a positive view of the joke get colder, the colder it becomes. The reason is that the second half of a bad joke is always unexpected by the listener. The listener always hints to himself, "You can't guess the second half of the joke", but people's curiosity keeps the listener guessing. The final result is the lengthening or deepening of the thinking process of "concentration and thoughtful engagement". (Note: This situation is based on the listener having a positive attitude towards the jokes)
Since the jokes are mostly boring, have strange content, and have little practical significance, some people are indifferent to them. The more jokes there are, the less humorous they are. The reason is opposite to the one above that is unexpected to the listener. When the listener has a negative attitude towards a bad joke, after listening to the first half of the joke, the listener will have a psychological suggestion that the joke will have an extremely boring and unfunny "second half". At this time, the listener will not be curious about the topic and will not focus on the joke. The result is that the thinking process of "concentration and thinking engagement" is shortened or absent. At this time, instead of feeling cold, the listener will feel that the person telling the cold joke is boring and has nothing to do. (Note: This situation is based on the listener's negative attitude towards cold jokes)
In recent years, a new language phenomenon has become popular on the Internet - cold jokes. Bad jokes are a form of reflection of postmodernism in language. This article briefly defines cold jokes based on the relationship between cold jokes and humor - cold jokes are different from humor and have their own characteristics. On this basis, based on the different laughter-making mechanisms of cold jokes, they are divided into Classified and tried to interpret the laugh-making mode of cold jokes.
The pragmatic characteristics of humor
Whether cold jokes are humorous or not, we need to start from studying the attributes of humor to see what characteristics humor has and what it achieves pragmatic effect. As for humor, "Cihai" defines it as follows: "...usually using funny, pun, irony, homophony, exaggeration and other expression methods to contrast the polar opposites such as shortcomings and advantages, defects and perfection, absurdity and reasonableness, stupidity and cleverness, etc. The attributes are quietly integrated into one.
In this unity of opposites, profound meaning or self-deprecating wisdom can be seen. "That is to say, the core of humor lies in a certain degree of absurdity, illogicality or violation of expectations. From a pragmatic perspective, it often causes breaks in the coherence and relevance of language meaning, causing the listener's initial There is a deviation between the understanding and the speaker's intention, and the charm of humor is also contained in it.
From the perspective of the speaker's intention, humor is to entertain the listener and make the listener feel funny and laugh. Then it achieves the purpose of enlivening the atmosphere of the speaker or attracting attention
Characteristics of cold jokes
Compared with humor, cold jokes have their own characteristics. From the contradiction to the intention of the joke, it reflects the difference from humor.
Before discussing the semantic and rhetorical characteristics of the joke, let’s take a look at the following joke.
One day, there was a gummy walking on the street, and she suddenly said: "Ah! My legs are so weak! ”
From a conventional point of view, such words are obviously very ridiculous, and are obviously different from sincere words based on daily information exchange. From a rhetorical point of view, most cold jokes only use personification. Some mainly use homophonic rhetoric, while others are ordinary narrative language, and a considerable part of humor relies on the use of rhetorical techniques to achieve the purpose of creating semantic conflicts. In addition, cold jokes do not create strong semantic conflicts. It can be seen that semantic conflict is not a means of making people laugh or a deliberate effect. So how do jokes make people laugh? In the third point, we will discuss the mode of making people laugh.
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