Doubi classic funny jokes daquan

The continuous innovation and development of network and modern media technology greatly facilitates people to receive and disseminate information, and also promotes the spread of Duanzi culture more conveniently and quickly. The following is the information about the classic funny jokes I compiled for you for your reference!

More funny than a classic joke.

put on/assume airs

A man pretends to be forced in front of me, and you know the consequences

Besides pretending, he beat me up.

truth

I have a colleague who always looks at me when talking to me.

I can't help wondering, is there something unclean beside me that he can feel? So I was afraid to talk to him for a long time.

Later I learned that he was squint.

mobile

Recently, a touching thing happened: my classmates got love donations from classmates, friends and the public through their mother's cancer, and finally successfully bought a car they liked!

cause

In recent years, I have observed that many young people, either in their thirties or in their early years, say that they are tired or their brains are failing. It is meaningless to live for a period of time, but it is actually caused by poor health.

It is suggested to add anaerobic cooperation 10 km every day, reduce sugar in diet and increase protein. After half a year, you will feel that there is nothing in this world that you can't do.

mistake

After decades of life experience: girls are unreasonable, you must have done something wrong. But this may not have just happened, it may have been a year ago, or even longer.

democracy

My family is very democratic and votes on everything.

Yesterday, I finally bribed my daughter to stand on my side with a Barbie doll, and then my wife vetoed it by one vote.

go shopping

I hope that in the future, when VR technology is mature, I can develop a game called cloud shopping. After wearing a helmet, I can go shopping crazily, and then I can simulate the experience of sending and receiving packages and touching goods ... because I have no money in the real world.

knight-errant

I used to read martial arts novels and especially liked Xiao Li's flying knife technique, so I found a knife and a board and practiced flying knives.

During the summer vacation, the knife bounced off the board and stuck to the instep wearing sandals because I stood too close and used too much force.

Remember the disillusionment of the martial arts dream?

tragedy

My girlfriend has been refusing to kiss me, Tintin. I made a scene last night, but she still refused.

I was so angry that I was going to put it directly in her mouth while she was asleep.

I'm so excited that I don't have time to play, alas.

A series of funny jokes

Be grateful

I'll never forget that year, in a rented house in a strange city, it was dark outside, and suddenly I rushed to the window like crazy and said thank you loudly to the sprinkler that just passed in the street!

Because the music played by the sprinkler that day was Happy Birthday.

style

The bag of a female colleague suddenly became brand-new. I asked her what happened. She said it was new, exactly the same.

I asked why again, and she said she was robbed by a flying car. When the man robbed, he casually said: This bag is really beautiful! ?

weight

Q: Which is heavier, 50 kilograms of cotton or 50 kilograms of women?

A: Women, because women lie about their weight.

reality

There are no 24 hours on Sunday. Sunday doesn't exist since you got up at two o'clock in the afternoon. Although it is still Sunday on the surface, it has actually been manipulated by Monday.

cause

Aliens must have rigged the election, because Hillary promised to publish the survey data of area 5 1 after being elected.

touch control

I bought a new mobile phone recently, so I threw the old one aside.

Every day in time switch machine, the mobile phone also alarms on time, and works hard with the remaining battery.

Suddenly I feel so touched and cruel.

conflict

Where should I go wrong: two thousand yuan to buy a graphics card, the game should download the cracked version; Download the cracked version of the game and spend money to download mosaic patches for members.

zongzi

It is said that Zongzi was thrown into the river to prevent fish from eating Qu Yuan's body. The fish that can eat Qu Yuan's corpse must be carnivorous, so it is more reasonable that Zongzi should be stuffed with meat.

Reasons for refusing to eat vegetarian jiaozi

have a conversation

In the plane, the microphone in the cockpit was off, and there was a conversation between two men: captain, take a rest after taking off. ?

Another voice:? No rest, shit first, then fuck the new stewardess. ?

Everyone in the cabin heard this conversation, and a new flight attendant who seemed to have just said rushed to the cockpit to tell them that the microphone was not turned off and accidentally fell off.

An old lady nearby said, Girl, don't be in such a hurry. He has to take a shit first. ?

More interesting than funny jokes.

horror game

A: What is the most exciting horror game you have played on your mobile phone?

B: A lot!

Please recommend some to me.

B: Great wisdom, straight flush.

Meet sb. leave

Their parents sent their children to college with tears in their eyes, but my parents sang and danced at home all night and said happily to me at the dinner table. When you left, we got a dog, and then it didn't know you. When it came back, it kept biting you and wouldn't let you in. ?

tragedy

It's really sad. The world is cold. The little girl whose wallet was stolen at the station, who had no money to go home and wanted to ask for ten yuan for the trip, has not been rescued for more than a year.

give rise to

Trump is still pursuing his dreams at the age of 70, which gives me great inspiration: I am still young and don't have to rush to pursue my dreams.

be fired

? You mean I'm going to be laid off when Trump becomes president? Why? Because I'm black!

? We explained it to you, Mr. President. ?

moon

Last night at 2 1: 52, I howled at the super moon for half an hour in a crowded public place.

So he changed from an ordinary person to a person who was sent to the police station.

phone case

I once bought a transparent mobile phone case, because I thought if I had a girlfriend, I could put her picture in it.

I changed three mobile phones and four shells, and finally realized that I was thinking too much.

Strike up a conversation with sb

I just went to breakfast and met a girl I've long admired.

Eat, I said: beauty, I forgot to bring money today. Can you lend me ten dollars and I'll pay you back this afternoon. ?

My sister was going to rummage through my bag, and I was preparing my lines to make a phone call. The boss said, it's okay, let's give it together next time! ?

Boss, do you think there will be another time?