Will there be retribution for cheating? These 3 real cases will tell you the answer

Of course there will be. In 2019, we witnessed with our own eyes that too many people fell from the altar overnight because of cheating, with almost no chance to turn around.

Li Xiaolu, Xu Zhian, etc.

Although society is becoming more and more open and the divorce and infidelity rates are increasing day by day, the public's tolerance for cheaters is still very low.

In Qipa’s speech, Li Dan once said, “The audience’s attention can easily be diverted. We have debated so many topics passionately here and exported so many wonderful views, but What everyone will eventually remember is that Huang Zhizhong and Yan Rujing have a very good relationship."

Yes, stories are loved by everyone and cannot be forgotten, so the affairs of celebrities are often more complicated than those in popular dramas. Return fire.

A large part of the retribution of cheaters comes from these people who eat melons. How many corrupt officials have worked hard all their lives, only to be defeated by rosy news. The law will not punish cheaters, but as a member of society, everyone who cheats must accept everyone's moral judgment.

Because the consulting room couldn't stand everyone's criticism, it received many cheaters who came for consultation. They regretted it and wanted to start a new life, but their past mistakes nailed them to the pillar of shame forever.

Of course, compared to celebrities or public figures, ordinary people will not cause such a big public opinion storm, but it is enough to ruin a person's life.

My former boss had a very high emotional intelligence, was impeccable, capable and agile, and became a regional director at a young age. He also has a beautiful and considerate wife. They've been together since college. They got married immediately after graduation and gave birth to a cute and smart child.

It can be said that it has been a smooth journey. According to this trend, the future will be boundless.

Who knows, one day he suddenly disappeared from the office. An insider told me that while he was on a business trip, he had a relationship with a female colleague from another area. They travel frequently and date frequently.

Not long ago, the woman’s husband accidentally revealed the truth when he went to the airport to pick up the plane. He launched an attack on the spot, and the incident spread to the company's senior management.

The chairman was furious and directly ordered the two of them to be expelled. Originally, the company decided to promote him to regional general manager this year. Several senior executives who usually have good personal relationships with him talked to him privately. However, although I feel sorry, what can I do if the situation forces me?

“What a pity!”

“But there’s nothing wrong with that!”

Colleagues sometimes talk about this, but they still cry. Everyone has a good impression of him, but because of this incident, almost everyone has a big question mark on his character.

I heard that after he was fired, his wife divorced him and the children were awarded to his ex-wife. The person he cheated on didn't end up with him. He left home cleanly and became a lonely man.

When the family members knew the reason, they were very angry and did not have a good face to show him. And because the previous incident had a wider impact, I ended up having to work in a small company. From then on, the young man who was once full of wise words disappeared. He subconsciously tucked his tail between his legs and became low-key.

No one dared to ask him if he regretted it.

How could such a smart person not think of what happened today?

But what can thinking change? Cheating is like a drug. There are always people who know that there is an abyss ahead, but still want to stop, thinking that they will be that special person.

Half of the people who cheat will never regret it.

After consulting for so many years, I found that although everyone has the same hostile attitude towards cheaters, less than half of the cheaters regret it.

Many people seek counseling after cheating. What they ask most is not how to repair a relationship or make up for mistakes, but how to cheat, continue to have two affairs or how to eliminate the guilt in their hearts towards their wives.

Or complain, “Society is so conservative, emotional matters are personal privacy and have nothing to do with others.

”

From the beginning to the end, all he has always wanted is to enjoy the happiness of others, so although there are so many consequences for cheating being discovered, wave after wave of people embark on the path of cheating like a pilgrimage.

Even, they will use various ways to beautify this feeling.

The originator of "cheating pure love movies" is the ultimate interpretation of this kind of "betrayal". p>

Someone asked me on the headlines, “If you are looking for true love, is cheating wrong? "How many cheatings are "betrayals" under the guise of "seeking" true love.

With all due respect, if you want to pursue true love, you can. But please don't base your happiness on the pain of others. Once married, it is no longer a matter of one person. The result is that modern people are extremely selfish, but they don’t know it.

Are you happy and satisfied? Have you ever thought about how sad it would be for the person you promised to take care of for the rest of your life?

But, to be honest, this question is a bit silly.

In a troubled marriage, At least one person only cares about himself and does not know how to put himself in others' shoes. Similarly, in a marriage, as long as there is someone who understands empathy, it is not much different.

When a person starts to only care about himself. It's only a matter of time before he betrays the other party.

There is an old saying in China that has been around for millions of years. This law of survival is almost written into everyone's nature. , but selflessness requires our constant practice.

There is no love in a selfish relationship, only a naked exchange of interests, and the final choice is the result of weighing interests.

In the consulting room, every year. There are many people who consult because of cheating, including cheating and being cheated on. In the real world, we have all experienced a lot of truth and falsehood, and we may have become accustomed to it.

Loyalty in marriage is the last piece of pure land that everyone wants to keep for themselves. Once it is tarnished, it can easily cause permanent damage, so it is difficult for people who cheat to get over it for a long time.

What about that liar? Of course, there are also people who sincerely repent. Many people think so because they stumble in the place of their lover, otherwise they will only enjoy their second life happily.

Many cheaters have been asked this question. Confidently said: "In life, it is best to eat, drink and have fun without being discovered. If you find out, the worst possible outcome is divorce. If she would forgive me, she could live on. ”

So, if you are cheated on, don’t think he will apologize. Even if he apologizes, don’t take it seriously. Most men are very realistic. In fact, most of them have already cheated on you at the moment he chooses to cheat. Calculate all the possibilities in your mind.

Instead of waiting for him to apologize, it is better to comfort your broken heart.

Cheating is not only a betrayal of your partner, but also a betrayal of yourself.

“So let him go? I am so miserable, but he is happy. "Every time a tourist hears me say this, it will pop out of his mouth involuntarily.

I understand his frustration, loss, anger and unwillingness, but I can't watch him add new scars. Hurt.

After being cheated on, people will unconsciously think about the relationship over and over again, and they will not be able to control their imagination. Those who lose control of revenge after cheating are basically driven crazy by themselves. .

I have written many articles about how to get over the pain after an affair. The most important point is that I must not delve into the details unless it is to obtain evidence in a lawsuit.

People who are cheated have their own retribution.

There are thousands of reasons for cheating. Some people want excitement, some want to prove themselves, some want love, and some want relief, but in the end they are all for this. Escape from your true self and escape from real problems.

Half of the people who cheat will not regret it, for the same reason, because once they regret it, they will admit that they were wrong.

Then I have to think about another question: Why can’t I control myself? What is it that attracts me? What am I trying to escape from in this relationship?

Except for a very small number of people who can’t help but want to cheat because of special genes, a survey shows that many cheaters always feel that they will never cheat before cheating.

As a result, I had to face my deepest desires and wounds.

It is not easy to see your mistakes clearly, because the human body has a self-protection function, both physiologically and psychologically.

Generally speaking, cheating can cause cognitive dissonance between partners.

Cognitive dissonance, simply put, means that when a person does something that is inconsistent with his or her usual views, he (she) will feel uncomfortable, so he (she) tries to adjust his or her thoughts. to reduce unpleasant emotions.

The cheating partner generally tends to downplay his or her own mistakes, for example, thinking that the cheating is not a serious matter, or that the other person’s problems also led to the cheating.

But the subconscious judgment of one's betrayal will never stop, so many people who cheat will subconsciously think that this is retribution when problems arise in their relationship.

The reality is even more so. As the saying goes, there is a cycle of cause and effect, and retribution is bad. Because it was cheating, the result is cheating. Countless facts have proven that a person who cheats is likely to disappoint his lover, even if no one "crimes" him. Even if you don't let your lover down, you will feel guilty for a long time.

Otherwise, why would He and Ling have to clarify and argue again and again on Weibo when the audience has already forgiven them?

As a result, I suddenly lost my hard-won popularity.

At that time, the cheater will realize that everything is just a mirage and he is just a bad joke.

We can avoid reality, refuse to reflect, or avoid love or marriage, but we cannot avoid the true self and the darkness of human nature.

In short, cheating does not necessarily lead to retribution. People who cheat often get retribution because they try to solve the problem in the wrong way. The result can only be that they become more and more divided, their problems become more serious, and their pain becomes deeper and deeper.

About the author: Ye Fei is a national second-level psychological counselor, literary translator, columnist, practitioner of the 10,000-hour rule, and an ordinary person who always has dreams in his heart.