Funny quotations from xian Wu ge zong xian.

Wu: Oh, yes, yes, Hong Kong is good. Does Hong Kong smell good?

2. Wu: OK, just introduce this (Kangkang)! There are so many handsome guys in the entertainment circle that this one can jump out of the handsome.

Brother's rank is not easy either. Recently, Jay Chou also wrote a song for him, and the one that suits him best is called "Half".

Orc 3, facing the female guests, Wu: Your album is my personal favorite, 10 songs I know by heart ~

Aya: What about the third song?

Wu: The third song is quite powerful! He ranks third in the whole album, which is great ~

Aya: Don't talk nonsense, just sing it ~

Wu: Who said I dare not sing? Only a puppy dares to sing! ! ! ! People will call me puppy from now on. . . . . Is that OK

Wu: Please welcome this handsome guy (Pan Weber). The album is selling like hot cakes ~ ~ ~ Congratulations, I heard about the character vincent fang.

Tianwang also wrote six songs for him ~ ~ ~ The only fly in the ointment is the other four ~

Pan: Hello everyone, good host! Brother Xian, I wrote two of the other four songs myself!

Wu: Really? Gee, this is the only regret. ...

Wu: This is my eternal beauty! ! I'm telling you, two of her posters are hanging in my house.

It really burned in 2 days!

Aya Xiaowu: Especially look at that smile and that tooth, I really want to pull it out ~ ~

6. Wu: Her figure () is really feminine, like two (Aya and Cheng Lin). I played it again.

Have you ever been a woman?

7. Wu: Come and introduce this. This is also a newcomer. Please welcome Mr. Guo Shiqian (Guo Shilun, because

Karen's tradition is like stealing.

8. Aya: Nuo Nuo was really moved this time. I have never seen his shy expression ~ ~ ~

Wu: I think he is angry with the fetus and moved his true feelings ~ ~

Wu: According to my conscience, Nuo Nuo is also a good boy. I recently bought a mansion in Nangang ~ ~ ~ there.

Our real estate is very expensive, more than 600 thousand per square meter ~ ~ ~

Aya: digging ... that's so expensive ~

Wu: Yes, he bought 2 ping ~ ~ He lives with her mother and sleeps standing up ~

10, once a guest sang high notes, and Wu asked Aya and Cheng Lin to audition.

As a result, Cheng Lin sang well. Wu: I feel very sad. Now I know why it is so easy to have a four-person love group.

After Aya finished singing, Wu: OK, OK, this performance touched me so much that my grandmother was dying-

……

Wu himself is here again, Cheng Lin: I finally know why Brother Xian is hosting the program ~ ~

1 1, said to Rui En: Sorry, I had such a good time that I forgot to introduce our Miss nast ~ ~ ~

12, Wu: So far, he is a standard moonlight clan-he spent all his money by the end of the month ~ ~

13, Wu: I use "flying rabbit to go" (meaning time flies) to make a sentence-ah ~ flying rabbit to go, time.

Like an arrow, I will be 22 years old in the blink of an eye.

Big S: It's a pity to say it ~ ~

14, Wu: As a woman, being pregnant and being a mother is an unshirkable responsibility! ! ! Boys can't get pregnant, boys can only

Help ~ Yes ~ 15, Wu to pregnant woman No.2: Look, 1 is so beautiful, it will be beautiful to have a girl! ! Then you must be pregnant.

It's a boy ~ ~

16, Wu told Ocean University students: This is the ugliest poster I have seen since I entered the entertainment circle. ...

Then in a deep voice) In a marine pollution, all the students living by the sea became stupid ~

17, Wu Dui 1: Come on, sing ~

No.65438 +0: No, I'm the out-of-tune queen ~

Wu: That's all right. Didn't you see that Meggie Yu (the hostess is very loud) came today ~ ~ ~

SingNo. 1 Wu: OK, I now declare the second place ~ ~

18, two participants in Wu Wen No.3 Middle School: 2 Who is the girl with a boyfriend?

Both of them just laughed.

Wu: Do you share the rent?

19, the policewoman demonstrated how to fight sexual harassment, put a hand on her ass and said, then you know what to do.

Wu: Tell him, baby, push ~ ~

20. The manufacturer showed a tracer that could be sprayed on the gangster's face. I don't know why it didn't come out during the demonstration. Play.

It's been a long time ~ ~ Wu: By this time, the gangster has returned to Hengchun from Taipei ~

2 1, ella of Wu facing she: What a white face! !

22. Wu: Let's welcome the first two groups of guests. I just watched their play with the children yesterday.

After reading (my secret garden), my feeling is-I can't let the children see it anymore ~

23. Hong Qide: I am also filming a program recently, which is to visit some grand festivals around the world.

What kind of Wu: It will be great when you get to Brazil, and you will see my Mimi garden ~ ~ ~ (and samba)

)

24. Wu: Today, a great man came and brought his pet "cuttlefish" (the name of a German shepherd), the owner.

My own pet is very close. ...

Wu interviewed an av actress: Don't you have a boyfriend now?

Actress: Not now.

HongQiDe beside "ha ha ha ha" she chuckled with a smile.

Wu: What are you laughing at if you don't have a boyfriend? ?

H: Sorry, sorry.

Wu: So you really don't have a boyfriend now?

Actress: No, really not.

Wu: Hahahaha ~ ~ ~

26. Wu said to the av actress: Is there any need for animal actors? There happens to be a cuttlefish here. It's doing well ... and his mouth is still watering.

What about water ~ if I need actors, I think I'm better than cuttlefish ~ ~

27. In the first issue, I guess I chose the most dreamy junior high school girl. Wu asked: When do you think you are the most dreamy?

Girl: During the exam.

Wu: Oh! By the way, staring at the paper is the most touching. Some people say that my eyes are the most handsome in exams, aren't they?

But am I looking at someone else's paper ~ ~ (doing actions) my eyes are going to take off the window ~

28. Wu: Have you ever been accosted by a boy with a cannon?

W: Yes, I just went to Okayama for the Spring Festival. I almost got blown up as soon as I went in, and the boy came and said he was sorry. Every walk

How many roads have been bombed, or the same person; Later, after a while, it was bombed. ...

Wu: Oh, I guess it wasn't the girl, it was the enemy ... In the end, I didn't even use artillery, so I used grenades ~

29, Wu: If you don't watch it on Saturday, it is estimated that this life will be black and white.

Cheng Lin: I heard that now the family contact book should indicate which units I guess there are ~

Aya: Yes, I heard that students will have a mid-term exam in the first semester. I guess what are the first three episodes ~ ~ ~

Wu: Wow! Awesome! ! ! .........................., when did you learn to lie ~ ~

30. Aya: Do you know, Brother Xian, I heard that some people in the mainland say I guess it's very popular. I don't believe it. But this time,

On the way to Shanghai during the Spring Festival, many people recognized me and said "Aya" and "Aya" ~ ~

Wu: Really? They were squashed by tires, right? Say "ouch" and "ouch"

3 1, Wu: I heard that 2 is a butcher shop-oven butcher shop.

Colin: He is taking the opportunity to help him advertise. We haven't opened it yet! !

Wu: Oh, yes, yes, actually, I opened it ~ ~

Aya: Forget it, help him promote it-it's really not so good. ...

Wu: How is that possible? The students and guests at the scene, after the video, will all go to my butcher shop to eat and drink! ! Everything will disappear.

expense ...

..... all out of my own pocket ~ ~

Aya: Then what nonsense are you talking about ~ ~

Wu: No, you will get a discount when you come, OK ~ ~ ~ But the discount you want is too high, so we will let you go.

Discount ~32, Wu VS. Sweetness: They are also the youngest group in Taiwan Province Province. Excuse me, two distinguished guests ~ ~

Sweety: we 14 years old ~ ~

Wu: You are so young ~ ~ ~ Then you should go home quickly, because it is 12 later ~ ~

33. Wu said to him, Jingru, look at the sweetness around you. Do you feel old? They are two years old.

Together, it is very close to us ~ ~

Fish Leong: Just follow you, Brother Xian, I'm not that old ~

Wu: Actually, it's not close to me (crying) ~

Aya: Does it need to be increased by three or four times?

34: A strange man who can write calligraphy with a teapot came out. Lin Xiaopei asked him what materials he used to write, and he said ink, that's right.

Very light, Lin didn't hear, keep asking ~ ~ ~

Wu: This lady has been talking about ink for six years, okay?

In the program, a family member drinks urine and introduces urine therapy, saying that urine can stop bleeding instantly.

Wu: There was an accident on the side of the road, so we immediately went up to pee on the injured person ... When the family members came, we would say that we were helping.

Hot Blood 36: Interview with a young golfer, Aya: I think he is really playing?

Look at the cocoon on his hand ~ ~

Wu: Please don't. Zhang's cocoon has something to do with his adolescence ~ ~ ~

(The director can't let go of Jay Chou at this time. )

Wu Sing: I'm so sad without you ~~ I'll do it myself without you ~ ~

37. Interview a girl who claims to be very popular. Girl: Where I worked and what mistakes I made, all my male colleagues have them.

Press it for me ~ ~

Wu: Oh ~ ~ ~ So are you pregnant by pressing it?

38. Girl: The scariest man chased me and knelt downstairs for a day and a night ~

Wu: Then you can accept him as an apprentice ~

39. Girl: In Ximending, someone asked me if I wanted to help people communicate.

After that, I looked at Wu Zongxian ~ ~ Everyone laughed ~ ~

Wu: Hehe ~ ~ Do you think I look familiar? ! I remember having a beard and wearing glasses. How can I recognize it?

Out ~~40: Wu: Good figure! Can you get to know the measurements ~ ~

The girl thought about it and said, measurements are confidential ~

Wu: Did you hear that, G? !

4 1: A girl reported three measurements. Wu: Actually, he is very thin, but he is a cup ~ ~

Cheng Lin: Yes, in fact, many thin girls have big breasts ~

Wu: Yes, but you are thin ~ ~ ~ But ~ ~ you are also thin ~ ~ ~

Wu: This girl is so lucky that even her own dentist is after her. How is the dentist? Is she married?

Woman: I'm married ~

Wu: Oh! This color embryo ~! Tell me the address, and I'll ask Kangkang to scare him ~ ~ ~

43. Wu: I heard that once your bikini was washed away while swimming, and suddenly all the boys saw two faces of Japan.

The flag fluttered at them in the wind ~ ~ ~ (bare chest)

44. Interview with a female boxer. Wu: Did your opponent pass out laughing?

45. A woman won a car. March asked: What color is the car?

Woman: Red.

Wu: Are you asking what color their underwear is?

46. A male player: The talent to be performed today is to sing Brother Xian's song "Leave Me alone".

Wu: Have I sung this song? !

Man: Ah! . #.！ %#￥……

After singing Wu: I'm so touched, but I have a saying that the original song is better ~ ~

47: Wu called Splendid Duet Rusty Duet, Wang Hailun stole it from Wang Hai and Jay Chou stole it from Zhou Jie ~

48. A woman claims that her rabbit can jump rope. Wu: Can it catch the rope by itself?

Female laughter: I am too fat to jump a few times.

Wu: Are you qualified to criticize other people's sizes?

49. Old black Vietnamese will eat stones. Wu: Do you want sugar? What do you want?

50: Aya: My chest is small and a little bigger. So miserable ~

Wu: Are your overseas expansion consistent? !