How to persuade with sincerity?

Sincerity is the most touching thing. If you can make the other person feel your sincerity, even if he does not agree with your point of view, he may accommodate you so as not to let you down.

One day, several salesmen from an insurance company were chatting together and said that there was a lady who looked very ugly and bad. Although she was extremely rich, no one wanted her to buy insurance. Whoever goes there will hit a wall. A young salesman boasted: "If I go there, she will definitely buy insurance."

Colleagues laughed at his bragging and wanted to make a bet with him, and whoever lost would get a treat. He found out that the lady's husband was very rich and had divorced her because he was infatuated with another woman. Although this lady got a lot of money, she lived a lonely life and had a bad temper. He thought, if others only saw her ugly appearance and bad temper, who could understand her mood? He decided to use his sincerity to impress the lady.

The next day, he dressed himself up, bought a large bouquet of flowers, came to the lady's door, and knocked gently.

The lady opened the door, looked at him coldly, and without saying a word, slammed the door.

The young man was stunned and didn't know what to do for a moment. Knock on the door, the lady will be even more annoyed; go back, because you are afraid of being laughed at by your colleagues. He had no choice but to stand stupidly at the door, waiting for the lady to come out. After several hours, the lady's door finally opened. She invited the young man into the house, gave him water to drink, and said many things that seemed to be complaints, but were actually caring. At this moment, she was completely a gentle woman, not like a shrew at all. Finally, she signed a 200,000 policy.

As the saying goes: sincerity leads to spirituality. No matter how difficult it is to do, it will become easy in the face of sincerity, and no matter how difficult people are to get along with, they will become gentle in the face of sincerity. However, can you treat others sincerely and do things sincerely? This is the real question.

A person's persuasiveness is not a constant, but one can use clever expression skills in mutual communication with others to enhance the strength of his persuasion. In order to successfully persuade others, the following four experiences are worth learning from.

1. Pay attention to your appearance

Psychologist Seken once gathered 68 student volunteers and asked each of them to talk to four pedestrians and ask them to support a group that opposed the serving of meat for breakfast on campus. Before coming into contact with pedestrians, the researchers assessed each volunteer's various characteristics, such as whether they were beautiful, articulate, trustworthy, persuasive, and intelligent. It was found that under the same conditions, beautiful people are generally more successful than unattractive people.

2． Make good use of the location

Many people can speak more convincingly in their own living room than in someone else's reception room. Therefore, a shrewd negotiator always strives to speak in his or her own room when negotiating important matters with others. not in the other party’s office.

British psychologist Tyrrell and his assistant Lanny once conducted an experiment. They first rated some selected college students to identify their influence on others, and divided them into groups of three. Each group was composed of people with high, medium and small influence. Then they asked them to discuss and vote on the school. Which of the ten items in the budget that could be cut would be most appropriate. Half of the group meetings were held in the dormitory of the most influential person, and the other half were held in the dormitory of the least influential person. The final result showed that during the discussion, even if the host had the least influence and the guests initially held objections, they eventually succumbed to the host.

3. Arguments must be solid

What kind of arguments are persuasive? This is a question worthy of attention. A basic requirement is that the arguments must be solid and reliable and must not create a sense of distrust. It is believed that providing the listener with concrete information is more powerful than providing claims. But to a hesitant person, the source of the information is very important, because its impact is as profound as the information itself. This is not because people trust certain sources but not others, but because they are less likely to defend their prejudices when they hear quotes from highly credible authorities. This is a very wonderful psychological effect.

However, quoting authoritative opinions should not go too far. Too much information may also offend the listener.

4． Use experience and examples

People who are good at persuasion know that people's actions are much more affected by their personal experience than by empty general principles. For a patient, if a doctor advises him to take a certain drug, even if the doctor repeatedly proves that the drug is effective and explains a lot of pharmacological knowledge and principles, the patient will still have doubts. But if he tries another method, for example, the doctor tells him: I took this medicine myself and recovered from my serious illness in just one course of treatment. After hearing such vivid personal experience, patients will no longer have any worries.

When psychologist Seken studied the effect of this method, he found that successful salesmen often use specific examples to explain to customers that their current choices have been made by others.

Once again, persuasion is not a mystery. It is caused by human talent and can be learned and improved. As long as you master some real skills of persuading people, then you will not be afraid of failing to convince people.

Human thinking is complex. If you don’t understand something or can’t figure it out, you will often have doubts. This requires lobbyists to be good at explaining the truth thoroughly. When doubts are eliminated, persuasion and success will naturally be achieved. The purpose of persuasion. However, it is not an easy task to eliminate other people's doubts. You need to go step by step, pursue it step by step, and explain the truth clearly and thoroughly. This is the method of clearing up doubts step by step.

In 1921, the American millionaire Hamer heard that Soviet Russia was implementing a new economic policy to encourage the absorption of foreign investment, so he planned to do business in Soviet Russia. He thought that what was most needed in Soviet Russia at present was to eliminate famine and obtain food. At this time, the United States was experiencing a bumper grain harvest. One dollar could buy 35 liters of grain. Farmers would rather burn the grain than sell it to the market at such a low price. And Soviet Russia has the furs, platinum, and emeralds that the United States needs. Wouldn't it be great if the two sides could exchange goods? Hammer made up his mind and came to Soviet Russia.

The morning after Hamer arrived in Moscow, he was summoned to Lenin's office, and Lenin had a cordial conversation with him. After discussing the food issue, Lenin told Hamer that he hoped he would invest and run businesses in the Soviet Union. The West had a deep prejudice against the Soviet Union's implementation of the New Economic Policy and made a lot of malicious propaganda. Hammer listened, doubtful and silent.

Lenin, who was very perceptive, saw through Hamer’s thoughts. He explained the purpose of implementing the New Economic Policy and told Hamer: “The New Economic Policy requires the redevelopment of our economic potential. We hope to establish an economy for foreign countries. People use the system of industrial and commercial lease rights to accelerate our economic development." After some conversation, Hamer understood the nature of the Soviet regime and the principle of equality and mutual benefit for Soviet Russia to attract foreign-invested enterprises, so he wanted to do something big. But as he spoke, he started to waver again and wanted to back down. Why 9 Because, Hamer heard that the Soviet government agencies were overstaffed and had numerous procedures, especially the procrastination style of the agency staff, which was even more unbearable. When Lenin saw Hamer's worries, he immediately comforted him and said: "Bureaucracy, this is one of our greatest scourges. I plan to appoint one or two people to form a special committee to handle this matter with full authority. They will provide you with what you need." "In addition, Hamer is also worried that when investing in Soviet Russia, Soviet Russia only focuses on developing its own economic potential and does not pay attention to ensuring the interests of foreign businessmen, so that foreign businessmen will gain nothing from setting up businesses in Soviet Russia. Affordable. Lenin heard this concern from Hamer's conversation, and immediately made it clear: "We understand that we must determine some conditions to ensure that the lessees can make a profit. Businessmen are not philanthropists unless they think they can make money. Otherwise, only fools would invest in Soviet Russia." Lenin clarified Hamer's series of doubts one by one like peeling bamboo shoots, and explained the policy clearly and decisively, which made Hamer's heart clear. It was as if a stone had fallen to the ground. It didn't take long for Hamer to become the first American to set up a business in Soviet Russia.

If there is any secret to success in persuasion, it is to put yourself in other people’s shoes and understand their attitudes and perspectives.

Because not only can you gain communication and understanding with the other party in this way, but you can also more clearly understand the other party's ideological trajectory and the "key points" in it, aim at the target, and hit the "key points", which will greatly improve your persuasiveness.

Someone once said that if you want others to believe that you are right and act according to your opinions, you must first like you, otherwise you will fail. But if I can't put myself in other people's shoes and find their needs, how can I make them like me? Carnegie once rented the auditorium of a hotel to give a lecture. One day, he suddenly received a notice that the rent would be tripled. Carnegie went to negotiate with the manager. He said:

"I was a little shocked when I received the notice, but I don't blame you. If I were you, I would do the same. Because you are the manager of the hotel and your duty is to fulfill your duties." It may make a profit for the hotel."

Immediately afterwards, Carnegie made a calculation for him: "Using the auditorium for dances and parties will certainly make a huge profit, but if you kick me out, it will be a big profit. Drive away thousands of educated middle-level managers, and their patronage of your hotel is a live advertisement that you can't buy even for five thousand yuan. So, which one is more beneficial?" The manager was convinced.

The reason why Carnegie succeeded was when he said it. If I were you, I would do the same thing", he had completely stood in the perspective of the manager. Then, he calculated an account from the perspective of the manager, grasped the manager's appeal-profit, and made the manager Willingly add weight to Carnegie's side.

There is a TV station that sets up a weekly lecture on life issues, and the ratings are much higher than other programs.

There are of course many reasons for the high ratings, but the most important reason is that the audience appreciates the clever answers in the program.

Most people come to TV for advice when they have difficult questions. The audience will initially refute or defend the various advice given by the answerer, and appear to be very reluctant to accept the other party's point of view.

Usually appearing on such TV programs that discuss life-related issues. The audience, mostly divorced women, often said: "If I were you, I would forgive him and never break up with him. ”

Don’t think that “if I were you” is just a simple sentence. Little do you know how effective it can be! For people who are not easy to persuade, it is best to A good way is to make the other person think that you are on the same side as him.

If you inadvertently use some inappropriate words in the process of persuading others, because you use them skillfully. sentence. If I were you", the results would make up for the shortcomings of your words. Not only that, it can also prompt the other person to do self-reflection and finally feel that only your honest advice is the most beneficial to them.

People live in a very realistic society. Although it cannot be said that "people die for money and birds die for food", if people want to survive, they cannot do without various interests related to themselves. Therefore, when you want to persuade someone, you should tell him the benefits of doing so and the adverse consequences of not doing so. I believe he will not remain unmoved.

The football king Pele is a genius with a high reputation in the history of human football. At a very young age, he showed talent for football and achieved impressive results.

Once, Pele participated in a fierce football match. After the game, everyone was exhausted, and several young players lit cigarettes, saying they could relieve their fatigue. Seeing this, little Bailey also asked for one. He smoked the cigarette proudly, watching the light smoke blow out from his mouth, feeling very chic and avant-garde. Unfortunately, this scene was caught by his father who came to visit him.

In the evening, Bailey's father sat on a chair and asked him: "Have you smoked today?"

"Yes." Little Bailey blushed and lowered his head. Prepare for a scolding from your father.

However, my father did not do this. He stood up and walked back and forth in the room for a long time before he said: "Son, you have some talent for playing football. If you study hard and practice hard, you may be able to be successful in the future.

However, you should understand that the prerequisite for a football player is that you have good physical fitness.

But you smoked today. Maybe you will say, it was just my first time, I only smoked one, and I will never smoke again. But you should understand that after the first time, there will be a second time, a third time... Every time you will think: It's just one stick, it won't matter. But over time, you will gradually become addicted and your body will not be as good as before. And your favorite football may gradually move away from you. "

The father paused and then said: "As a father, I have the responsibility to educate you to work in a good direction, and I also have the responsibility to stop your bad behavior. However, whether you work hard in a good direction or slide in a bad direction mainly depends on you. "

At this point, his father asked Pele: "Would you rather damage your body in the smoke, or would you rather be a promising football player? You are already sensible, make your own choice!"

As he spoke, his father took out a wad of bills from his pocket, handed it to Bailey and said: "If you don't want to be a promising athlete and insist on smoking, these money can be used as the cost of your smoking. !" After saying that, my father walked out.

Little Bailey looked at his father's retreating back and carefully recalled his father's deep and sincere words. He couldn't help but hide his face and cry. After a while, he stopped crying and picked up the banknotes. , came to his father.

"Dad, I will never smoke again. I must be a promising athlete!"

From then on, Bailey trained even harder. Later, he finally became a generational football king. It can be said that his success is inseparable from his father's teachings.