A short and enlightening humorous joke

A simple joke can also be very enlightening. Here I bring you a short and inspirational humorous joke. I hope you will like it.

A few inspirational jokes, short inspirational jokes

0 1

One day, in the park?

Woman: "Do you have three bedrooms and two halls?"

Man: "No!"

Woman: "Do you have a Land Rover or an Audi?"

Man: "No!"

Woman: "Do you have a seven-figure deposit?"

Man: "No!"

Woman: "What do you have?"

Man: "I"

The woman turned and left.

Suddenly the man said, "I'm in real estate."

Woman immediately back to embrace the man's waist, a full face of worship and said:

"You didn't say earlier, the economy is so poor, you haven't starved to death, you must be a potential stock, that's enough! Enough! "

? This is the most inspiring passage of 20 17!

02

"When my real estate makes a fortune, I will buy a house to marry you."

He said enthusiastically:

After listening to this, her heart was cold and cold!

She thought, this is probably the most tactful breakup.

? 20 17 best mini-novel nomination award

03

"When my real estate makes a fortune, I will divorce you."

He simply said

After listening, her heart was warm,

Nothing lasts longer, she thought.

A promise that the seas run dry and the rocks crumble.

? 20 17 best novel award

04

Tell a very inspirational thing! There used to be a male classmate who liked a female classmate. That male classmate is a little fat. In order to catch up with girls, he only eats one steamed bread every day and works out crazily. A thin holiday has become a different person. Later, he finally dared to confess to the girl. The girl said, I don't like you if you lose weight.

05

There is a fat daughter-in-law at home who is clamoring to lose weight recently. This is the background, I don't want to cut it. Yesterday, I picked her up on my way home from work. On a telephone pole in Lu Yu, an idiot daughter-in-law asked me to measure the weight loss result, brush it and run behind the telephone pole. I can't see anyone. I ran over and gave her a grateful kiss. I cut in line! It fell into the sewer. . . Who stole the cover? I promise I won't kill you when you come out. . .

Several funny jokes forwarded on wechat.

1, a child asked his mother: Then why did you marry your father?

Mom said:? Mom married your father when she was blind! ?

The child asked his father again: Why is our family so poor?

Dad said: all the money in our family has been given to your mother to treat her eyes! ?

Mom called me today and asked me: Son, will you live alone on August 15th this year?

I said, mom, will you stop it? Do you know how many people are chasing me? I have done it myself, and I do it in batches every day!

My mother said, son, this is what my mother wants from you. You are ugly, you want to be beautiful, and you can play when no one is chasing you!

3、

Reporter: Grandpa, you are so flexible and energetic. What's the secret of staying young?

Grandpa: Get up early, stay up late, and have three meals a day on time!

Reporter: Ah? Grandpa, what do you do?

Grandpa: I'm a conductor!

Reporter: How old are you this year?

Grandpa took a deep breath of his cigarette and looked at the sky: it's almost 30!

4. I heard a schoolmaster inadvertently say:? Lying in the trough, it only took me an hour to finish such a difficult set of physics papers. Make a set of chemistry papers to reward yourself. ? Suddenly I felt a chill. .

My buddy plays games at night, and my wife is indifferent to all kinds of temptations. I was so sleepy at two o'clock in the morning that I turned off my computer and got ready for bed. When I arrived at the bedroom door, I felt something moving inside, and my wife was still awake. So I washed my face, turned on the computer and played for a while!

6. At a friend's party yesterday, a female friend was drunk, so I sent her home and left. As a result, I saw her latest signature the next day: there is a kind of happiness, get drunk and give others a chance. . . . But there is another kind of pain. People don't want this chance to get drunk. Now ............., think about it. It's not that I'm single, but that I'm stupid.

7. Primary school students got married and invited me to be a bridesmaid. I feel a little excited, but I still pretend to be shy and want to be modest. ? Oh, I am not good-looking. You are not afraid of losing face when you are a bridesmaid! ? When ah, your appearance makes me more face! ?

8. My buddy seems to be very sympathetic to human beings. Last night, he summoned up the courage to confess to the goddess who had been secretly in love for more than three years. At that time, the goddess just smiled and made no statement, saying that she would consider it at night. That night, my buddy waited nervously, then brushed Weibo, his goddess, and found an extra dynamic: even if he was hungry, he wouldn't eat shit! This is the most tactful and cruel refusal I have ever seen!

9. Eat with friends. His wife got 150 Jin. Just kidding: sister in law. How long is your meat! ? Sister-in-law sighed: Me too 100 Jin. Who knows that if he grows a catty, he will gain half a catty! ! ! ?

10, show me her stranger some day. A man said, Girl, come out to play tonight and give you money for nothing. The boudoir said, Do you have any money? The man said: no money. The boudoir said: No money. Look at yourself. The man said: Then I have money. Boudoir said: if you have money, buy a mirror to look after yourself.

A selection of double eleven funny paragraphs.

Q: What is the best discount for Double Eleven?

A: My own hand.

The girlfriend asked:? Failure is the mother of success, so what is the father of success?

I cried and said, every time I spend money to help you empty your shopping cart, it is called payment success. ?

Husband: Brother, I have an accident and need money badly.

Buddy: Who's the driver? What car?

Husband: My wife, shopping cart.

Q: In this world full of blasphemy, fame and fortune, what supports me to keep my simple and beautiful personality in the face of the annual Double Eleven shopping spree?

A: Poor.

On the day of Double Eleven, my wife shouted for a knife to chop her hand, and her husband quickly comforted her: Dear, you can make money without money. If you don't have your hands, you really don't. You can buy, you can pay!

She took the knife from her husband with satisfaction.

At zero zero. Dozens of high-rise buildings in a residential area are still brightly lit, and every household is brightly lit. It's quiet and bright here. There is no noise from TV and stereo, no quarrel between husband and wife, only the click of the mouse. Uncle Wang, the residential reception office, watched all this silently, thought for a long time, lit another cigarette, and finally firmly turned off the main switch of the residential area. That night, he saved hundreds of millions of yuan in property losses for the community owners. 2017+065438+1October 1 1 When is it?

Girlfriend: There are good news and bad news, which do you listen to first?

Me: Listen to the bad news first. Girlfriend: I'm going to buy 100 thousand things on Double Eleven. Me: What is the good news? Girlfriend: Half price for double eleven ~

When I came home from work, my husband nervously asked his wife: How much did you buy today?

The wife said:? Five or six hundred. ?

Husband said:? Not bad, there is progress. ?

The wife said:? Five or six hundred bills!

Double 1 1 advertisements are overwhelming. As a poor man, I decided to change my name to Dongfang Bubu to show my mind.

The young man asked the Zen master, Master, it's the end of the year again. Double eleven, black five, how to spend Christmas?

The Zen master put his hand into his sleeve and smiled without a word. Youth: I see, you have calmed my heart and stood by. Zen master: I mean, there's nothing to say about having your hand chopped off.

Husband: Wife, let me discuss something with you.

Wife: Tell me about it.

Husband: Don't take my money to raise a man outside, ok?

Wife: I didn't!