Funny sentences about work

Funny sentences about work

In a boring work environment, some jokes are needed to spice things up. Below I have compiled some funny sentences about work, welcome to read!

1. At a banquet, the boss’s front door zipper was unzipped but he didn’t know it. His female secretary discovered it. Due to the presence of guests, he couldn’t say it directly. He reminded the boss: “Boss, your The garage door is open. ?The boss is confused? Oh, have you seen my BMW? ?The female secretary replied: ?No, I only saw 2 broken tires. ?

2. One day, the manager came down from the workshop and saw a man working hard, so he said to him: "Good job, I was just like you before." ?The man also smiled at the manager and said, ?You have to work hard too. I was just like you before. ?

3. I have to be late for work in the morning and run quickly without breakfast; I am so hungry that my colleagues laugh when I hear it; I have to do my work seriously and carelessly; my boss is very satisfied with it. Saying to you: Increase! Increase!

4. Workplace tragedies are roughly divided into 4 levels: the first level is working overtime to make money. There is no extra pay for overtime work at the second level. The third level is to work overtime and make extra money during holidays. Level 4: No extra pay for overtime work on holidays. If you are at level 4, I can teach you the ultimate trick, fire the boss!

5. In order to live, I fight alone; in order to make money, I work hard day and night; in order to make money, I work day and night . Life finally took a step forward, but the boss said: "Go back, the company is bankrupt." ?

6. A buddy in the company was interested in a beautiful accountant from the finance department, and he kept pursuing her. He paid his salary in one day, and deliberately left the salary on the accountant’s table. The beautiful accountant said to him when he was about to go out: ?Your salary!? This guy turned around and smiled: ?No, it’s your salary!?

7. I treat the company as my home, my desk as my bed, and I go to the toilet when I wake up. When you're hungry, go to the canteen. Don’t say that I am unreasonable. In fact, I am called a workaholic! Haha

8. The customer asked the waiter: Why does my soup have no taste at all? It is just boiled water. ?Waiter: ?This is the regular soup. It is given for free, ah? Oh? Sorry, I haven’t added the soup yet?

9. Time can be wasted, and the salary cannot be saved in the pocket, but happiness can be The whole family is together, working overtime is never allowed, no one is willing to work hard for you, I don’t dare to complain for the sake of the boss, I say I feel at ease in the face of work, I wish you success in the workplace.

10. There is no “one fund”, no “three insurances”, hard work and no money; working eight hours, overtime without pay, a tiring day makes you upset; busy day at work, busy at work every day, still poor My colleagues are like tigers, and my leaders are like wolves. It’s a pity that I, a sheep, have no one to rely on.

11. It is not easy to enter the workplace. I hope you will be more plain, more tolerant, more tolerant, more diligent, more confident, more strong, more happy, more serious, Every detail and unity is a great honor.

12. I love you for work, I love you like a fish loves water, I need you all the time; I kiss you for wages, I kiss you like a mouse kisses a mouse pad, and I stick to you from ear to temple. Dear? Husband and I? (work salary), I will love you forever, until the fish dies, the sea is broken, the sea is dry, the computer is out of power, and the reimbursement rots!

13. Brother, you are the most handsome in our state-owned enterprise workplace! Look at it You: You have a face with Chinese characters, speak in Chinese, and sing the national anthem.

When you were a boy, you were the flower of the motherland; when you grow up, you are the pillar of the motherland; sir, you are a first-class national treasure in the Palace Museum? Hahaha!

14. Xiao Ming chats during work hours , the manager asked Xiao Ming: Should we be down-to-earth in doing things, or should we show off our words? Xiao Ming said: One phone call makes everything fly;

15. The days of harmony and wealth have disappeared without a trace. The era of witty words has disappeared without a trace. The hard work in the afternoon on the hoeing day is no matter how hard it is to meet. When happiness is mixed with blessings, in fact, I can only wish you success in your work. !

16. Moonlight is not a dream. You can always succeed if you don’t want to do anything. It’s not difficult to work overtime as long as your boss likes it. The bonus is a bit far away. into film.

17. My current life is to get up, eat, catch the bus, work, work, eat, and work again, working 18 hours out of 24 hours. Can the boss increase my salary? The boss said: Yes, can you sell me the remaining 6 hours?

18. Editor’s reminder dialogue: A: You have to remember what you said . B: What did I say about me? A: You said you would cut off your fingers if you didn’t give me the manuscript. B: I have already become a monk, and worldly affairs have nothing to do with me. B: Let’s meet again in the next life. A: I have your mobile phone and ID number. I will report the crime when the time comes and say that you are a habitual offender. I will ask the police to bring you to submit your papers! B:?

19. One day, the leadership was having a meeting, and there was a colleague below. Taking a nap. While the leader was talking about the Three Represents, this colleague woke up. Just listen to him talking to himself: Do you have me among the three representatives?

20. I am in a hurry on the way to work, lazy when I work, I see my boss pretending to be good, and when he is fetching food Who dares to compete with me!

21. A friend jokingly said that he works at Samsung. He explained it this way: when you get up in the morning, there are stars in the sky; when you are tired during the day, there are stars in your eyes; when you get off work at night The sky is full of stars again? This is dedicated to the tens of millions of migrant workers in China.

22. New rules in the workplace: You can leave early at work, get drunk immediately after get off work, salary will be increased every month, and qualifications will be improved step by step. The boss is no longer complaining, the wife is no longer worried, life is sweet, and happy times are long and joyful!

23. The limousine is carrying a big boss. When we passed an area with poor public security, the boss, who was afraid of death, said to the driver: "Recently, the public security is not good and there are many kidnapping cases. Let's switch. You sit in the back and be the boss, and I will be the driver."

24. First line: Pretend to be stupid, pretend not to understand, and come to work diligently. Second line: Calm down and forget about the wind and rain, and live peacefully. Hengpiao: Essential Code for Employees

25. Once upon a time, there was a company with a boss. The boss had a wish. He hoped that the company would become stronger and stronger. The boss had a group of employees and hoped that their wages would increase. If my wish can come true, I will fulfill the boss’s wish. Dear colleague, if you dare to tell your boss this, I wish you a bright future!

26. Working people should know that a happy life By creating. I wish you not to be afraid of four things at work: first, not afraid of hardship, second, not afraid of tiredness, third, not afraid of trouble, and fourth, not afraid of speculation, dare to work, dare, venture, and create.

27. Work is like a big mountain, and you and I are that foolish old man, still working as porters; a hundred years later, the mountain is still the same big mountain, and your and my descendants are that foolish old man, still working as porters. Porter, after a thousand years, the mountain will still be the same mountain... God, I can't stand it anymore, please help me move this mountain away.

28. When employees go to work: they have to do things by themselves and have no right to tell the secretary to do it; when there is nothing to do, they are ordered by the secretary; when leaders go to work: they don’t have to do anything but have the right to tell the secretary to do it; when there is nothing to do, they have the right to ask the secretary to do it; when there is nothing to do, they have the right to ask the secretary to do it. Its name is official.

Alas, why is the gap so big? After thinking about it, it is not easy to have a job, it is best to just accept the situation as it comes!

29. Soldiers must be good soldiers if they want to be marshals; workers must be leaders if they want to be He is a good worker; a wage earner is a good wage earner if he wants to be a boss; the marshal said: When I become the emperor, you can be the marshal again. The leader said: When I get promoted, you can take over my job. The boss said: If you become the boss, what should I do? You should just go it alone. I said: I'd better become a monk, and you don't have to worry about me.

30. Today, my boss told me to work overtime. I sighed: I can’t say goodbye to overtime forever. It’s better to say goodbye to overtime forever. After a few steps, the boss came back quickly and said, go back quickly, have a good rest, and work overtime tomorrow. salary.

31. I just returned from the long vacation, but the fatigue has not subsided. I worked for seven consecutive days and staged a series. The plot is so exciting, it feels like a drunken boxing party, and going to work feels like sleepwalking, but I just don't dare to sleep. It’s not that we are decadent and drugged by freedom. Ha, happy forwarding with the same sentiment!

32. ?No. 1 in the world? Huaxi Village, ?real cow?! Not only because they spent 300 million to build a ?Golden Bull?? that weighs one ton; They spent 3 billion to build a high-rise building that can "pick the stars with your hands"; not only because of their super five-star hotel "Presidential Suite", which cost 100,000 yuan for a night's stay. Is that because of the magic horse? Xiao Fu Zian’s bull head, the bull tail that shows off his wealth, and the bullish copycat version of the shocking singing voice! I really want to go there to work, not to make money, but just to bullfight?!

33. "Go to work with full of longing, and really hope that the salary will be doubled: if the salary is doubled, you will be tired; if the salary is quadrupled, you will take the initiative to work overtime; if the salary is tripled, you will be responsible for sweeping the floor; if the salary is quadrupled, you will be responsible for sweeping the floor; if the salary is quadrupled, you will also be responsible for sweeping the floor. , the troubles disappear without a trace. "

34. I opened my eyes in a daze and found that I had to hurry up again. The night has passed, and I have to wash my face and go to work. One day, one year, one month, every minute passes by. After working hard year after year, how much money can we make? Life is not easy!

35. I was surfing the Internet secretly at work, and the boss panicked. He bumped into the jumping rabbit in his arms, picked up the mouse and hurriedly closed the window. Unexpectedly, the boss shouted: Get up!? Let me sneak in too.

36. One day, a colleague had nothing to do, so he took a magnet and played with it. The leader saw it and reached out to take it. There was a "pop" sound, and the magnet was attracted to the leader's ring. The leader left in embarrassment.

37. When his son did something wrong, the father, who was a lawyer, asked: Is there anything else to explain? What you say now will become evidence in court; then the wife, who was a judge, said: Baby Son, just say it boldly, I will acquit you no matter what.

38. One night, Xiao Wang was about to drive a taxi home when he suddenly saw someone waving in front of him. When he got there, he realized it was a naked man and kept staring at him. Naked man: Haven’t you seen it? Xiao Wang said: No, I was wondering where you got the money from?

39. It’s hard work, but the salary is too little. I had to work overtime last night, and I looked back at my job too haggard. The flower branches in front of the window should still be there, but the color has changed. Asking you how much sorrow you can have is like stock trading with a full position in PetroChina.

40. I have always been outstanding at work and my performance has always been good. My boss praises me for my good discipline and my colleagues say that I am energetic. There is no way, we are the pillars of society! ;