Classic children’s jokes

Classic Children’s Jokes

A joke means something that makes people laugh. Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in plot, often unexpected, and give people the wonderful feeling that the god of laughter suddenly comes. Below are the classic children's jokes I have compiled, for reference only, I hope it can help everyone.

Classic Children's Jokes 1

1. Speak loosely

When my father told the idiom "the snipe and the clam are fighting", he said: "The clam is holding the snipe's mouth." After clamping it, the clam said if I don’t let go today, the sun will kill you!”

The 6-year-old child heard this. Ask dad; "Does a clam speak without a mouth?"

"Can it speak without a mouth?"

"Then when it talks, doesn't its mouth open?"

2. Quit sweets

Mom: "The chimney in this factory is really annoying. It emits black smoke all day long. It chokes me so much that I can't breathe."

< p> Xiaohong: "It doesn't matter, I'll get dad's smoking cessation candy for you."

3. Today's things will be completed today

Father: "Anything that can be done today, Don’t put it off until tomorrow.”

Son: “It’s too easy. Bring me the cookie box!”

4. Goldfish dyeing

Father meets son. Pour the blue ink into the goldfish bowl and ask him why.

My son said: "A goldfish will turn into a blue goldfish if it eats blue ink."

5. Progress

Brother: "What is progress?" < /p>

Sister: "I have done more things today than yesterday."

Brother: "Dad has made progress. Yesterday he burned a hole in his clothes from smoking, and today he burned three."

6. Progress is really fast

Son: "Mom, I got fifth place in the exam this time. Boil an egg for me quickly."

Mom: "Good boy, you are making great progress. Mom will boil two eggs for you today."

Son: "Thank you, Mom!"

Mom: "A ** who took this exam *How many people are there?"

Son: "5 people."

7. Pears in the Mirror

Mother: "Why are you eating pears in front of the mirror? "

Daughter: "Can't I eat two pears like this? "

8. Draw inferences from one example

"Dad, how do you write the word "cake" for moon cakes? ? ”

“It’s the word ‘cake’ for Tangsu cake. ”

“How to write the word ‘cake’ for Tangsu cake? ”

“That’s it. The word for pancake is “cake”! ”

“How to write the word for pancake? ”

“You idiot, I’ll teach you by analogy, but you don’t know how to do it!”

9. Crying is better than laughing

After watching the movie "Laughing is Better than Crying", Pingping said to her mother: "Mom, it should be better to cry than to laugh."

“Why?”

“Because when I cry, I can get anything.”

10. Abuse of words

My closest friend Hello, endless father! Are you as strong as an ox these days? Is your job thriving? Now I am studying hard without caring about myself or my life. The teacher praised my great achievements, and I felt very proud after hearing this. If you criticize me for abusing words, I will definitely give up all my previous efforts and make a comeback. May daddy live forever! Your second to none little son, baby.

11. Bad habits

Bill: "My father said that if I overcome all bad habits, he will give me $10,000."

"

John: "Have you overcome it?"

Bill: "Of course not. Without these bad habits, what is the use of my money!" Classic children's joke Chapter 2

1. Biological

At the gate of a primary school, Xiaogang grabbed Xiaohong.

Xiaogang said to Xiaohong: "You I'm pregnant, you have to be responsible!"

Xiao Hong exclaimed: "Kissing has nothing to do with giving birth to a baby, right?"

Xiao Gang: "Of course! I don't believe it. You go back and ask your parents if they are your biological children!"

2. Watermelon

Mom cut the watermelon into four pieces and ate one piece herself, leaving different sizes for her brothers and sisters. My brother took the smaller one and gave the biggest one to his sister. My mother felt very happy when she saw this, thinking that my brother had learned how to give pears to me, but he was different and more sensible. : I eat the small ones very quickly, but my sister hasn’t finished eating them yet, so the remaining piece is mine, so I eat more.

3. Ants

One by one. As soon as the grade 1 children returned to the classroom, they told the teacher: "Teacher, there are a lot of ants in the toilet!"

The female teacher nodded and suddenly thought that the word ant (ant) had been taught in English since the beginning of the school year. See if the child still remembers, then ask: "What did the ant say?"

The child looked confused, and after a while he answered: "The ant, he, he didn't speak!"

4. Work

Xiaofang, who is in the second grade, is very cute and is often pestered by the boys in the class. One day, Xiaofang came home and said to her mother: "Mommy, Xiaoqiang proposed to me today. , wants me to marry him..." Mom asked casually: "Does he have a regular job?" Xiaofang thought for a while and said: He is responsible for wiping the blackboard in our class."

5 , surnamed Wang

The family has a young daughter, who is four and a half years old. He is usually timid and has trouble talking to strangers. But if you don't sing, it will be a blockbuster.

It’s the Chinese New Year, and uncles and aunts who don’t come often come to visit. She is lying on the table doodling and drawing, looking very attractive. The aunt asked from the side: "Youyou (daughter's nickname), what are you drawing?"

The daughter was silent.

"Well, you are really good at painting. Do you want to be a painter when you grow up?"

Still silent.

"Oh, Auntie guessed wrong. Tell Auntie, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

The feeling of unfamiliarity gradually faded away. He raised his little head and said childishly: " I want to be a teacher!"

"Oh, that's right. Then let me tell you, what kind of teacher do you want to be?"

The daughter looked surprised: "My surname is Wang, of course I will be Wang. Teacher, it’s so simple and you don’t know?”

6. Love

Colleague Dapeng brought his daughter to play at home.

This is the first time I have seen his daughter. I didn’t expect her to be so old. I heard she is in the second grade of elementary school.

The little girl is very polite and takes the initiative to say hello as soon as she enters the door. In this regard, my son is far behind. He has a lot of personality, and even if he is mobilized, he may not even scream.

The little girl is also dressed up very cutely and talks and behaves like a little adult. To be honest, I fell in love with her right away.

In the evening, I took the initiative to ask my son: "Look, the little girl who came today is about the same age as you. What do you think of her?" In fact, I mainly wanted to encourage my son through his impression of her. The son learns from others.

As a result, the son actually asked: "Do you want me to fall in love with her?";