Once again, I knelt down for the classic hilarious little story joke-# All the gold coins are for you.

An old lady was watching a movie when a couple of lovers sat in front of her.

Too affectionate, she see not pleasing to the eye, patted the young man on the shoulder and said:

"This is a public place. Don't you have anywhere else to go? "

The young man turned to her and said, "Ah! Boss, can you persuade her to come with me?

Let's go. "

Cool and fast

A man's personality is very straightforward.

One day, he was introduced to a female scholar's house for blind date. Just chatting for a while.

Son, he can't wait to ask, "Do you agree or disagree? Agree with us

Get married, or we'll divorce! "

Use sb.' s tricks against him

A young man who is reluctant to spend money because he met his girlfriend for the first time.

The family didn't want to spend money, so they thought of a plan.

As soon as he entered his girlfriend's house, the young man said with a bitter face, "Today is too bad."

Yes, I bought a new watch. I wanted to give it to you, but I was caught on the bus.

Pickpockets stole it. "After listening to this, his girlfriend is very grateful to him, just a pity.

He said, "Be careful in the future!" The young man immediately replied, "Of course,

Sure! Pickpockets are really hateful! Next time I come, I won't bring anything to watch you steal it.

What? "

Cold-blooded/warm-blooded animals

A couple quarreled over a trifle. When the man came home, he immediately wrote.

A letter. The woman's address is written on the top of the envelope, but the recipient column is

It says "cold-blooded animal collection".

A few days later, the letter was returned. The postman wrote on the envelope:

"There is no such animal in the original site."

Mathematicians fall in love

Mathematicians and their girlfriends are walking in the park. His girlfriend asked him, "I'm full."

You really don't mind freckles on your face? "

The mathematician replied softly, "Absolutely not! I was born young.

Deal with each other at several points. "

Rob relatives

The two families were engaged, and then the woman's family changed and became

Made a fortune. The man is afraid that the woman will stay away from marriage and rob the bride another day, but he doesn't know how to panic.

Wrong sister-in-law in chaos Woman heard chased out, shouted:

"Grasp the wrong! I caught it wrong! " At this moment, my sister-in-law urged on her back, "Don't!

Listen to him! Good, good, run! "

Malone's worry

Malone was scheduled to arrive in Beirut, the capital of Lebanon, within seven hours.

After the wedding, but he wants to fly from Cairo to Beirut.

It was getting late, and he was fidgeting at Cairo airport, so he made a fortune.

A telegram like this was sent to his fiancee:

"The plane to Beirut is late. Please before I arrive.

Do not get married. "

Ideal lover

A girl is chatting with her girlfriend. She said, "If my two

It's good to combine the advantages of lovers-Xiao Zhao is rich, handsome and handsome.

Harmonic wave; Xiao Li wants to marry me. "

Garden philosophy

A young man and a girl are sitting on the grass.

The young man drew a circle on the ground with his finger and said, "My love for you,

Just like this cycle, it will never end. "

"My love for you, like this circle, has no starting point!" Father's sister

Mother said coldly.

Wonderful love letter

A pair of lovers were arty in communication and used words indiscriminately, resulting in a row.

There is a big joke.

The man wrote, "honey, I don't think we met not long ago."

But now I have turned a blind eye ... "The woman replied," Dear, you

That's good. I not only turn a blind eye to you, but also look at you coldly.

Lee! "

Cleverly juggle

In the corner of the park, a young man wants to kiss his girlfriend.

But the woman pushed him away and said, "No, I can't do this before I get married."

Do it! "

"So, I'll leave you my phone number, please contact after marriage.

Let me know. "

Love (4)

marriage certificate

A wife suggested that her 28-year-old daughter could not find a husband.

She put a classified advertisement in the personnel column: "We are young, beautiful and extremely rich."

Heirs of interests, soliciting people who like to invite tourists and cynical men.

Communication. "

Two days after the advertisement was published, my mother asked anxiously, "What's the matter? have

Does anyone apply? "

"There is only one letter." The daughter sighed and said.

"Who wrote it?" Mom asked.

"I can't tell you." The daughter said.

"This is my good idea," my mother cried. "I have to know.

But! "

"All right!" The daughter said helplessly, "It's dad."

Wait for good luck

One day, Miss Lillian's beloved kitten climbed up and down the tree in the yard.

Not coming. The kitten has been meowing, but Lillian under the tree is very small.

I was so worried. At the right moment, Tom walked outside the courtyard wall, and Miss Lillian hurriedly.

Stop him and ask him to help carry the kitten down. Of course the young man is very happy.

I want to help that girl. He climbed up the tree quickly and held down the kitten. jasmine

Miss Lian was so happy to see the kitten safe and sound that she couldn't help hugging it.

Grab Tom by the neck and kiss him. This really flattered Tom.

Surprise, a kind of joy that I have never had before.

It's getting dark Tom has a hammer, a nail and a fish. He is very gentle.

Climb the tree in Miss Lillian's yard and nail the fish to the tree.

In fact, he knows that cats like fish best.

Tom went home and waited for good luck tomorrow. ...

pah

A man ran to his priest and complained to him about the emptiness of life.

"What's the matter?" The priest asked him.

"The person I love turned down my proposal."

"oh! Don't be discouraged. " The priest said confidently, "Women say' no'

Usually means "yes" "

"But she didn't say' no'." The man said morosely, "She only

Say' bah'. "

Politeness demands reciprocity.

When Mary's mother knew that Mary was going to pawn a pair of diamond earrings

When she gave it to her boyfriend as a birthday present, she was surprised and asked, "How did you give it?"

What to plant for the boy? "

Mary replied, "Who asked him to give me a fishing rod as a birthday present?"

Me! "

Looking for a son-in-law

Father: "My dear child, if you want to find a satisfactory one."

Honey, then marry the young man next door. He really loves you.

You "

Daughter: "Dad, how do you know?"

Father: "I borrowed a lot of money from him for six months, but he."

Never come begging. "

When do you fall in love?

When a young couple went through the marriage registration formalities, an older couple.

The staff asked, "How long have you been in love?"

"Maybe as long as you and your wife are always in love."

"Bastard!"

"Why are you angry? Your question is no better than ours.

Answer wisely. "

Come in through the wall

The father said to his daughter's suitor, "I didn't tell you not to do it again."

Into my house? "

"Sorry, I came over the wall this time, hee hee!"

Fifteen years later

Man: "You are the moon in the sky, and I am like the stars in the sky."

Woman: "I hope you are a comet!" "

Man: "What do you mean?"

Female: "Comets only appear once every fifteen years."

Man: "..."

Be obsessed with money

A: "What kind of woman are you looking for to do this?"

What about the wife? "

B: "My ideal wife: hair like gold, voice like copper.

Bell has teeth like pearls, cheeks like rosy clouds and eyes like two Jin Gangzuan.

......"

A: "I think you are a money addict!" " "

stepfather

Courtier: "Dear! Please promise me. I am older than you.

A lot, but I will love you more! "

Girl: "You can ask your mother!"

Courtier (delighted): "So you agree!"

Girl: "I don't care if mom agrees to let you be my stepfather."

Yes "

Qie

A girl came to the marriage agency by computer.

So, enter your marriage request into the computer:

"I want to find someone who can't be too tall and likes to wear a dress on weekdays.

Love ice sports. "

After the computer rang for a while, it immediately gave her an answer: "Enterprise!

Goose. "

Rack one's brains in vain

In the evening, the young man sang love songs in the girl's window with his guitar.

Two hours later, the window finally opened and the girl's grandfather stuck his head out.

Come and say, "Young man, thank you for singing. Now I should go to bed. "

congratulatory letter

A mother wrote to her son to congratulate him on his engagement: "Dear son.

Son, your father and I are very happy to hear the news and feel very happy.

We are anxiously waiting for your wedding day, and thank God for his kindness.

Give you this wonderful marriage. "My son found this paper while reading the letter.

Finally, I wrote a few words in another handwriting, "Your mother went to look for stamps."

..... Don't do such stupid things, silly boy, and live a bachelor's life! "

Three Character Classic

Playboy asked a beautiful young girl out. the next day

When someone asked him what the result was, he said, "Everything she told me is true.

Too many. "

"Really?"

"Really." Playboy replied, "She said' No' all night.

So',' don't move',' let go'. "

Fortunately, I met in the letter.

A girl pursued a young man, and she volunteered to write a petition.

Aisin: "Everyone says I am a beautiful female wolf (lang). If we are together.

......"。 The young man wrote back to her politely and said, "Aunt Wolf.

Mom, thank you for your kindness. Unfortunately, I can't promise you. I

Fortunately, I met you in the letter. If I had met you on the road, I would have died. "

This girl is an aunt.

A young man pursued a girl and wrote a love letter, which began with

Sentence, not write "dear girl", but write "dear aunt". After ...

A few days later, the girl replied to his letter with a doggerel:

"Blame you for being blind, that girl is called aunt; If I marry you, I will be ashamed.

Go home. "

The young man was not convinced and wrote back. He wrote: "Mom is also a mom, mom."

So is mom; Mom is like mom, and the girl is an aunt. "

Late for an appointment

A: "Why did you break off your engagement with that teacher?"

B: "Because once I was late for an appointment, he wanted my father.

Mother wrote a leave of absence. "

have no other choice but

Manager: "Miss Wang, the new girl in the company, is both gentle and beautiful. You can play. "

How to pursue? "

Xiao Zhang: "Pay attention at ordinary times!"

Xiaoshi: "I want to send her flowers."

Xiao Zhao: "Then, then I will devote myself wholeheartedly."

Zixu

A young man wrote a love letter to the girl, which was full of typos.

Finally, I actually wrote "kiss you" as "cut you".

The girl looked at it, crying and laughing, and then immediately returned the letter intact and put it on the table.

Batch of a line:

"Sorry, please commit suicide!"

Emergency diagnosis

Miss Chen is so beautiful that many men are after her. One day,

A man surnamed Wu came to the office, took a fancy to Miss Chen and was eager to agree.

She dated. When colleagues in the office knew about this, they advised him not to be impatient and to act according to the rules.

Check in before it's his turn to date. Who knew that Wu was actually an item?

When you confidently say, "I don't need to register, I am an emergency, I will take this as an example."

The "emergency" was dealt with. "

Raise a relative

A young man went to his girlfriend's house to propose marriage. Afterwards, his girlfriend asked, "What happened to you?"

How about proposing to my father? "

"I said,' If your daughter doesn't marry me, I'll kill myself'."

"What did Dad say!"

"Your father said,' Then I'll pay for the funeral.' "

Lu Yu

A gentleman met a fashionable girl in the street.

Girl: "Sir, shall we go to the park together?"

Sir: "No! As soon as I saw you like this, I thought of the sea. "

Girl: "Oh, sir, I see-the blue sea is beautiful."

Great, so charming! "

Sir: "No! Dear lady, I get seasick. I get seasick at the thought of the sea.

Nausea and vomiting. "

jack ass

An idle young man met a well-dressed man on the road.

A girl who likes to show off The two hit it off as soon as they met, and they immediately chatted enthusiastically.

Get up.

A few days later, the young man came to the girl's house and told her father.

Said, "I want to propose to your daughter."

"You don't talk nonsense! Who doesn't know that my daughter has nothing to do?

People? How can you support her? "

"I'm smart-"

"On the contrary, I think you are the most stupid person."

"Why did you see it?"

"Because you proposed to my daughter!"

suffer losses

The mother said to her daughter, "Didn't I tell you not to follow?"

Do you married people go out to play together? Too casual will always suffer! "

The daughter replied, "mom, don't worry too much!" " Go next door first.

Students often go out to play with a girl who doesn't want to get married, and he eats.

What is the loss? "

well-wish

Jack, a bachelor in his forties, is describing his beauty to his friends.

Wish: "... a young, beautiful, gentle and virtuous person as soon as he comes back from work."

My wife stood in front of me, with delicious food and wine on the table ... you said there was this.

Is it possible? "

"yes."

"When will there be?"

"When you go to the wrong door."

No problem.

The son asked his father, "I like Miss B very much. Please allow me. "

Folev "

The father said sadly, "son, I'll tell you the truth!" " she is

The crystallization of your father's love with her mother when he was young. She is your sister.

So you can't marry her. "

My son was very upset when he learned the secret. Mother saw him there.

That sad look was unbearable, so I also revealed it to my son.

A truth: "no problem, you are not your father's own!" " "

Out of conscience

A young man and a woman have just come out of the marriage registry. They are on their way.

Hand it in.

The man was very proud. He said, "Honey, you are so beautiful!" " But forever.

Heart, now I have to tell you, the last time I took you to my house to see that.

I borrowed other people's mahogany furniture and gorgeous furnishings.

Yes "

Woman: "That doesn't matter. Out of conscience, I have to tell the truth now

Tell you, my sister's name was written on the marriage registration form just now. "

The man was surprised: "It was the order I saw at your house last time."

Ugly people who hate you? "

Woman: "Don't call her that. She is your wife now. "

La! "

be in a dilemma

The beautiful young maid expressed her resignation to the caring hostess.

Q: "Why? Who wronged you? "

"No, everyone is good to me. I am so embarrassed. "

"What are you embarrassed about?" The wife asked. "

The maid said, "The old man wants me to be his second wife, and the old man wants me to be a child."

Master, you're going to elope with me again ... "

Applied rational number

The mother said to her daughter, "You are not old enough to get married;

However, there are many glib people among young people nowadays. Your mother will find you a five.

A ten-year-old man, will you marry him? "

The daughter said, "Mom! I would rather marry a 25-year-old young man.

People don't want to marry a fifty-year-old man! "

An experiment in courtship

In the street, a fashionable man has been staring at a tramp.

Smart girl.

The girl stopped suddenly, turned around and asked him, "Why do you always stare at me?"

"You are so beautiful, I love you!" He said bluntly.

"I'm not beautiful. My sister is in the back. She is very beautiful. "

The man turned and left at once, but he met an old woman.

"You lied to me!" The man turned to scold the girl.

The girl smiled contemptuously: "You lied to me first."

The Legend of the Condor Heroes

One family has a daughter, and at the same time, two families come to ask for relatives.

The master's boy is ugly, but the family is rich; Jia Xi boy

Zi is very handsome, but there is nothing at home.

Parents ask their daughters which one they want to marry. She said, "I still can't make up my mind.

Meaning. It is best to eat east and live west. "

Yesterday and the day before yesterday

A: "Why did you quarrel with him?"

B: "Because he proposed to me again yesterday."

A: "What's wrong with that?"

B: "But I agreed to his proposal the day before yesterday."

fall in love at first sight

The girl found the matchmaker and said, "You are cheating. He has an artificial eye. "

Eye, why didn't you tell me before? "

"Why didn't you tell me?" The matchmaker does not show weakness. "When you first met,

I tell you,' He fell in love with you at first sight'. "

Not afraid of loss

A pair of young men and women who met for the first time, the man suggested that the woman watch TV.

Shadow. The woman said, "I won't easily agree to go with an unfamiliar man."

Watching movies, because it's quite bad for women. "The man gives said:

"That's not, it's up to you to entertain me! Let me suffer more, I will never compete.

Yes "

Interrupt production

Woman: "What happened to you after I refused your marriage request?"

Like what? "

Man: "Bankrupt!"

conclusion

A: "I proposed to Miss Wang and she cried."

B: "Miss Wang won't, unless something ridiculous happens.

I cried. "

Sudden improvement

"Nurse, how did the seriously ill man's heart react this morning?"

"Oh, great! Doctor, "replied the beautiful nurse," he has already asked.

I've proposed twice. "

An unexpected disaster

A fashionable girl with heavy makeup-a singer in a nightclub.

Into the record retail department. After examining the goods, she sold them to men.

The clerk said, "Can you give me a kiss before you leave?"

The salesgirl kissed her across the counter without saying a word. this

We're in trouble! I saw the girl scream, "You're fucking dirty!"

Blank, how dare you touch me! At the same time, powder spring dancing, inexplicably came.

The excellent salesman's cheek didn't stop until the police arrived.

It turned out that a parting kiss was a popular song at that time.

Qu. The salesman's ignorance of the goods attracted the flying man.

Disaster.

Not yet proposed

A girl happily said to her mother, "Shaq is finally going to tell me."

Propose! "

"Did he mention it to you?"

"Not yet, but he has shot and killed his wife."

winner

A: "... anyway, you will always be a loser in love.

You poor bastard! "

B: "On the other hand, I am still the winner!"

A: "What do you mean?"

B: "When she returned the gift, she also gave her the gift given to her by others."

It's mixed in "

Looking for a wife

Nike doesn't pay attention to gfd, and its clothes are sloppy. One day, boss

Say angrily to him, "Next time you come to work, be sure to let your wife put you first."

The buttons on the clothes are all nailed together! "From then on, Nike didn't come to work.

A few days later, the boss met Nike in the street and asked him why he didn't come.

Ben. Nike said sadly, "I'm trying my best to find a wife."

Son. "

Strange relatives

A: "Do you know that young man just now?"

B: "Yes, he is my relative."

A: "What relatives?"

B: "strange relative, he married my fiancee."

Radical root cause

A beautiful nurse quickly said to the doctor, "Please hurry."

Go and see the patient. I just took his pulse and it was beating for a minute.

One hundred and twenty times, his eyes were fixed on me. "

The doctor said unhurriedly, "You should cover his eyes with gauze first."

Get up and test again. "

Shorter and shorter

On the dance floor, a girl dances with a strange man.

The girl asked, "You are really a magical figure, dancing with you."

Dance, I think the dance music is getting shorter and shorter. "

The man replied, "What's so strange about this? The conductor is. "

My fiancee. "

The future husband

A dissolute and unattractive woman is watching a movie.

Later, he said, "I wonder if my future husband has any men in this film."

As brave as the protagonist? "

A gentleman next to him went on to say, "Miss, I believe your husband."

He must be a hero because he needs superhuman courage when he decides to marry you.

Gas. "

Hard to trust a lifetime.

Daughter: "Mom, because you don't agree with me to marry Jack, don't you think so?"

On the contrary, he committed suicide by taking sleeping pills last night. "

Mother: "Really? What is the result? "

Daughter: "Thank God, he took the wrong medicine and didn't die."

Mother: "Look! I told you, he is not young at all.

If you do everything wrong, can you still entrust it for life? "

Beat an opponent by surprise

A: "I think Mary likes me very much and I love her, don't you think?"

Should I be more attentive? "

"Fool, you should behave more than other men don't care about her.

This is called' unexpected victory'. "

Reasons for not getting married

Caroline, why don't you find a husband?

"I have a barking dog, a smoking fireplace and a barking dog.

A swearing parrot and a cat who spent the night outside, why do you think I returned it?

Looking for a husband "

calculate

Several boys like Lily very much, but they all hit a nail.

Then one day, Hank actually said that he had an appointment with her. He looked very

Proud. He left several others to play cards, while he was dressed up.

Far away places.

Little Zhan had a brainwave and waited until Hank almost got to Lily's house.

Call lily then. Xiao Zhan asked Lily who answered the phone, "Is Hank there?"

Are you there? Lily said he was there and asked, "Shall I put him on the phone?"

"No, that's all right," Sean Xiao said politely. "Please tell me.

Sue him and tell him to send my shirt back immediately ... "

Eliminate interest

The doctor has just examined a female patient and confirmed that she is pregnant.

He said, "Madam, I have good news for you."

"It's a lady, not a wife." Young women are more upright.

"Oh, miss," the doctor said quickly, "I have some bad news.

You "

Unmarried cohabitation

Afu fell in love with a young lady and asked her father to allow them to get married.

Father: "Marriage is a life-long event. You can't just look at her appearance. "

Li also wants to go in and see her. "

Alfred (blushing): "I ... have seen it."

repent

Lisa admitted to the priest that she was pregnant.

"So children should have fathers?"

"Reverend, I hope there are even two-because of this.

Otherwise, it is easy to have twins. "

do not hope

Woman: "If you marry me, you will have two children, one is a man."

A girl. "

Man: "How do you know?"

Woman: "Do you still need to ask? Two children are at my mother's house now.

Inches "

I know very well.

A: "Miss Wang, who is nearly 40 years old and unmarried in our company, always

She felt embarrassed when we called her an old maid. "

B: "Is she embarrassed because she can't get married?"

A: "No! She feels guilty about it. "

Worry about redundancy

Mother said to her daughter, "Didn't I tell you not to let strange men come?"

Go to your room? I'm really worried about such things. "

The daughter smiled and replied, "Mom, it was me who went to his room.

So it should be his mother who is worried! "

Date of marriage

Brother: "Little sister, when you find a boyfriend in the future, you should find your parents."

Wu, there is no sister-in-law. "

Sister: "Why?"

Brother: "Do you think, which mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a good relationship?" Which one?

A sister-in-law doesn't shut up? "

Sister: "Oh, I see, you have to wait for mom and dad to die.

I am married, too. You just got married, right? "

Oppose collocation

Answer: "I will marry you on one condition."

B: "honey, tell me, what can I do as long as I can marry you?"

You can promise everything. "

A: "This condition is very simple. I want to bring my mother, because she

I am an only child. "

B: "Well ..."

A: "What, you don't agree?"

B: "You know, shops are all against collocation now!"

Treat separately

Daughter: "Mom, just like you said, he supports his mother, so I will follow."

He blew it! "

Mother: "Shh-keep your voice down, don't let the back room hear you."

Daughter: "Who else is in the back room?"

Mother: "Your brother's date."

Two people's lives (in love)

The son went home happily and said to his mother, "Mom, Yingying has finally come."

Promise to establish a two-person world with me and organize a new family. "

Mother: "Ah! That's great. So, when are you going to get married?

Get married? "

Son: "That depends on when you are willing to move out."

Less legs

Fiancee: "Nowadays, young people talk about ostentation and extravagance when they get married, and the atmosphere is not good."

You need dozens of legs if you don't move. "

Fiancee: "Don't worry, dear. When we get married, I intend to have less.

Two legs. "

Fiancee: "Great. Which two legs are you going to lose? "

Fiancee: "Without your mother's legs."