Ask for a speech full of empty talk (humor)

There was a story before the liberation of China. Here's one:

Zhang Tianyi's Works >> Mr. Huawei.

Beat around the bush-he is a relative of mine. I call him "Mr. Warwick". He thinks this kind of

The topic is not good.

"Hey, you are really!" He said. "Why must a' sir'? You should call me "Di Wei".

Or' salty'. "

After settled this matter, he immediately put on his hat:

"Let's talk about it another day, ok? I always want to have a brief talk with you-alas, I never have time.

Today, Director Liu drafted a surplus work plan for the county magistrate, and asked me to take part in giving advice and help him revise it. three?o'clock

Zhong has another meeting. "

Having said that, he shook his head and gave a helpless smile. He declared that he was not afraid of hardship: during the War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression period, everyone

It should be a little bitter. But-time is always enough.

"Commissioner Wang sent three more telegrams, insisting that I take a trip to Hankou. Here, the cultural circles of the whole province resist the enemy.

The meeting was established again, and all anti-Japanese war work should be led. How can I run away? Oh, my God! "

So he shook hands with me in a hurry and got into his chartered car.

He always carries a briefcase with him. He always carries his thick, black and greasy crutch. left

Wearing a wedding ring on the ring finger. When holding the snow, make this ring finger bend slightly, but it is very small.

Refers to the orchid pattern that stands tall.

The rickshaws in this city don't run for fun, but walk around steadily, as if taking a thousand steps after a meal.

Yes But chartered cars are an exception: jingle, jingle, jingle-all of a sudden grabbed the front. Rickshaw immediately

Had to escape to the left, the cart immediately tilted, the burden quickly gave way to the side of the road, and pedestrians quickly evaded to both sides.

Go to the store.

The bicycle pedal bell keeps ringing and the steel wire is flashing. There's no time to see it clearly-it's already gone.

Yes, as fast as lightning.

And-according to the statistics of the upper class of several anti-Japanese workers here-Warwick is the fastest runner.

Sir's chartered car.

His time is of the essence. He said-

"I can't wait to cancel the system of sleeping at night. I also hope that one day, more than 24 hours, the work of the Anti-Japanese War is real.

Too many. "

Then he took out his watch and looked at it. His plump muscles immediately became tense. Frown, lips closed.

Squeeze hard, as if he were concentrating all his energy on his face. He will leave at once: he will go to the refugees.

The relief association will attend the meeting.

As usual-everyone at the meeting is here, sitting there waiting for him. He always stops when he gets off at the door.

Ring the bell: Ding!

The comrades looked at each other and said, well, here comes Mr. Warwick. Several people breathed a sigh of relief. Some of them can be stretched.

Looking at the door of the venue, one even seemed to be preparing for a duel-staring with his fist.

Mr. Warwick came in with a very serious attitude and a leisurely pace. His former busyness seems to have been lost to him.

His serious attitude disappeared. He stopped at the door for a while so that everyone could see him clearly.

Buddha wants to arouse the trust of his comrades-in-arms, as if to give them a guarantee-no matter what difficult events.

You can relax. He also nodded. His eyes didn't look at anyone, but at the ceiling. He is correcting the whole thing.

Say hello to a group of people.

The meeting room is very quiet, and the meeting is about to begin. Who is leafing through the newspaper there? Rustling.

Mr. Warwick sat politely in a cold corner, far from the top of the chairman's seat, and he didn't want to be the host.

Seats.

"I can't be chairman," he motioned, smoking a cigar. "The guidance department of the Workers' War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression Work Association.

There is a regular meeting today. The meeting of the Popular Literature Research Association is also today. Disabled workers' groups are also going. Wait a minute. you

Students know that I don't have enough time: I'm only allowed to discuss here for ten minutes. I can't be the chairman, I want to be elected.

Comrade Liu is the chairman. "

When I said this, a smile flashed across my mouth and I patted the clapping board.

While the chairman was speaking, Mr. Warwick kept blowing matches and lit cigarettes there. Put the watch in front of you.

Look at it from time to time, as if it were calculating.

"I propose!" He said loudly. "Our time is precious: I hope the chairman will report as much as possible.

Keep it simple. I hope the chairman can finish the report in two minutes. "

After blowing the match for two minutes, he suddenly stood up. Applause for the weeping chairman:

"Okay, okay. Although the chairman didn't finish the report, I got it. I'm going to another meeting now,

Let me make a comment first. "

There is a pause. I smoked two cigars and glanced at everyone.

"My opinion is simple, there are only two points," he licked his lips. "The first point is-every job.

Personnel cannot be slow. On the contrary, we should step up our work. Needless to say, you all worked hard.

Now, you can all be enthusiastic about your work. I am very grateful to you. But there's one more thing-you never forget,

This is my second point. "

He smoked two more cigarettes, but only hot air came out of his mouth. This screwed up another game.

"The second point is that young workers should identify a leadership center. You only have one collar.

Under the leadership of the guidance center, War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression can proceed. Young people are hardworking and enthusiastic, but because of reason.

Insufficient understanding, lack of work experience, and frequent mistakes. If there is no leadership center above, it is often necessary to do it.

Out of control "

Look at all the faces, the muscles on his face are stirred up-a smile. He went on to say:

"You are all young comrades, so I speak frankly and you're welcome. Everyone should take part in War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression,

There is nothing to be polite about. I think your young comrades will certainly accept my opinion. I am very grateful to you.

Well, I'm sorry. I have to go first. "

I put on my hat, grabbed my wallet, looked at the ceiling, nodded, and went out with a belly.

When I got to the door, I remembered another thing. He pulled the chairman's comrade away and whispered a few words.

"Do you have any difficulties in your work?" He asked.

"I mentioned this in my report just now, and we ..."

Mr Warwick held out his forefinger against the chairman's chest:

"Well, well, well. I know, I know. I have no spare time to talk about it. Later.-You

You can come to my house to discuss any work plan you think of. "

The long-haired young man sitting next to the chairman looked at them attentively, but now he couldn't help interrupting:

"We went to Mr. Hua's house three times on Wednesday, and Mr. Hua was not at home ..."

Mr. Nahua gave him a cold look and snorted: "Well, I have other things to do.

Whispered to the chairman:

"If I'm not at home, you can also talk to Miss Huang. Miss Huang knows my opinion, so she can sue.

Sue you. "

Miss Huang is his wife. When he talks about her to a third party, he always calls her that.

He told me before he really left. This is the meeting place of the Popular Literature and Art Research Association. He found that others had

There is a meeting there, and a man is expressing his opinion there. He sat down, lit a cigar and patted it unhappily.

Gave three handboards.

"Chairman!" His name is. "I have another rally today, so I can't wait for the last seat. Now I

I have some opinions that I want to put forward first. "

So he made two suggestions: first, he told everyone that all present were local intellectuals.

The work of intellectuals is very important and should be strengthened. Second, cultural people should recognize a leadership center.

Cultural people are United and unified under the leadership of the leadership center of the Cultural Resistance Association.

At 5: 35, he arrived at the meeting room of the Cultural Anti-Enemy Association.

This time, he smiled and nodded to everyone.

"Sorry, sorry: I'm three quarters of an hour late."

The chairman smiled at him, and he spat out his tongue with a smile, as if afraid of getting into trouble and being scolded. He looked around.

It depends. Just sit next to the moustache.

He took a very confidential and serious face-quietly asked the moustache:

"Were you drunk last night?"

"Yeah, but my head is a little dizzy. What about you? "

"I-I shouldn't have drunk those three glasses of spirits," he said seriously. "Especially Fenjiu, I can't be fierce.

Drink it. Director Liu insisted that I kill him-well, I fell asleep as soon as I got home. Miss Huang said she would settle accounts with Director Liu:

Ask him why he got me drunk. Look! "

With these words, he quickly opened his wallet, took out a piece of paper-wrote a few words and handed it to the chairman.

"Just a moment, please," the chairman interrupted a speaker. "Mr Warwick is there anything else?

Things to go. Now he has something to say: he wants to publish first. "

Mr. Warwick nodded and stood up.

"Chairman!" The back is slightly bent. "Gentlemen!" The back is slightly bent.

"Brother, please forgive me first: I'm a little late for the meeting and I have to leave early."

Then he gave his opinion. He declared that the Standing Council of the Cultural Anti-Enemy Association was everything.

The leading organs of national salvation work should always play the role of leading center.

"The masses are complex and there is much work. If you can't take the lead, it will be very dangerous, very dangerous.

Risk. In fact, there must be a leading center here to take charge of all aspects of work. Our burden is too heavy,

However, we are not afraid of any hardships, but we must shoulder this burden. "

He repeatedly explained the importance of the role of the leadership center, so he put on his hat and went to a banquet. He's here every day.

So busy, I have to contact Director Liu. I'm going to give a speech at school and attend meetings of various groups. and

Every day-either someone invites him to dinner or he invites others to dinner.

Mrs Warwick always complains about Mr Warwick every time she meets me.

"Alas, he is too bitter! With so much work, I don't even have time to eat. "

"Can't he just ignore it and do some work?" I asked.

"What should I do? He has to lead a lot of work. "

But once, Mr. Warwick was taken aback. Some people in the women's circle organized a wartime baby-rearing meeting.

Didn't go looking for him!

He began to ask and investigate. He managed to find a person in charge.

"I know your committee has been elected. I think we can add a few more. Be resisted by our cultural circles.

The enemy will always send someone to participate. "

He saw each other hesitant, he lowered his chin:

"The question is: Can your committee members really lead this work? Can you bear it for me?

Bao-there are no traitors and bad elements in your club, are there? Can you promise not to work in the future?

Mistakes, not sabotage? Can you promise? Is it okay? If you can prove it, I will ask you to write one.

Write something, give it to the Standing Committee of the Cultural Resistance Association. What if-if something goes wrong at work,

Then you are in charge. "

Then he declared: this is not what he meant. He is just an executor. His index finger points here.

Pointing at each other's chest:

"If you can't do what I just said, isn't it an illegal group?"

After two negotiations, Mr. Warwick became a member of the wartime baby care association. So when the Committee meets,

Mr. Warwick sat for five minutes with his bag under his arm, said a word or two, and then got on the chartered bus.

One day, he invited me to dinner. He said it was because his hometown brought a piece of bacon.

When I got to his house, he was losing his temper with two students. Are connected with the cultural circle.

The badge of the Anti-Enemy Association.

"Why didn't you go yesterday? Why didn't you go? " He roared. "I told you to drag a few people. but

I saw it the first time I gave a speech on stage-you didn't listen at all! I really don't understand what you did. "

"Yesterday-I attended a seminar on Japan."

Mr. Warwick suddenly jumped up:

"what! What! Japanese symposium? Why don't I know? Why didn't you tell me? "

"We decided at the ministerial meeting that day. I came to see Mr. Hua, who is not at home-"

"Well, you do it secretly!" He stared. "Tell me honestly-what is this symposium?

What background? Tell me honestly! "

The other party seems to have moved the fire:

"What is the background, is the Chinese nation! What was decided at the Council of Ministers was not covert operations. ..... China

Mr. Wang didn't come to the meeting and the meeting didn't end. He came to look for it, but he couldn't find it ... We can't stop the work of the Ministry of Magic.

Let's go "

"Bastard!" He gritted his teeth and his lips trembled. "You be careful! You, hum, you! You guys!

..... "He fell on the sofa, his mouth crooked painfully." Damn it! This this-you young people!

……"

Five minutes later, he looked up and looked around in fear. Those two guests have already left. He sighed.

Long gas, said to me:

"Well, you see you see! What about young people now, young people now! "

That night, he drank a lot of wine and booed the boys. He broke a teacup.

Miss Huang helped him to bed. Suddenly he shivered and said, "There will be a meeting at ten o'clock tomorrow ..."

Originally published in the semi-monthly literature standpoint1938 April 161no. 1.