Are there any funny jokes?

1 & gt； In a mental hospital downstairs, there is always an old woman squatting there with an umbrella. Finally one day, a nurse asked her what she was doing. As a result, the old woman said with a dignified face: "Shh, I'm a mushroom. . . "

2> Once, I went to a mental hospital as an intern and walked around the hospital. Suddenly, a patient came running to me with a kitchen knife.

Scared me to run and run,

As a result, the front was blocked by the wall, and I thought, it's over

As a result, the patient came to me,

Pass me the kitchen knife and say, "It's your turn to catch me."

3> One day ..

There is a male deer running faster and faster. .........

Run to the finish line ...

He became a "high-speed stag" .....

4> One day the little penguin went to play with the polar bear!

Three years later, I walked to the equator and remembered that the house was open.

It was three years before he went home and closed the door.

Six years later, I went to the North Pole.

Knock on the polar bear's door and say, "polar bear, I'm coming to play with you!" " "

As soon as the polar bear opened the door, he took a look at the penguin and said, "I don't want to play!" Then turn off the child! "

Penguins are home! ! !

5> There is a person who looks particularly like a bicycle. As a result, one day he stood on the road and rode away.

6> What would you do if you met a bear?

Run faster than a bear. B. Run as fast as a bear. C, running slower than a bear.

The person who chooses A is worse than an animal.

The person who chooses B is an animal.

People who choose C are worse than animals.

7> There is a person with a bad stomach. One day, he came to the stomach hospital and said to the doctor:

"I pull everything, eat watermelon and pull watermelon, eat cucumber and pull cucumber!"

The doctor wanted to think, said to him:

"I think you are going to eat shit!"

8> Little boy pees and plays a song title?

Tao Zhe (Gigi) (Ji Tao)

9> Tang Priest's letter to the Monkey King.

Dear Wukong:

I write this letter slowly, because I know you can't read fast!

It rained twice this week, the first time for 4 days, and the second time for 3 days!

Did you have a good time in Huaguoshan? I had a terrible time in heaven. Because there is no gravity, my stool, urine, tears and nose can't fall off. Do you feel bitter?

Our beef noodles here are delicious. Let's go to the restaurant in West Street for hot pot when you come another day!

Your Guanyin sister is going to have a baby, so I don't know whether you want to be an uncle or an aunt for the time being, because I don't know whether it will be a boy or a girl!

Did you receive the clothes I sent you? I was afraid of being overweight when I was ready to post it, so I cut the button and put it in my pocket!

It's very late to write here. Come and play with me sometime. Remember not to drink more water, or it will be very uncomfortable if you can't pee here!

P.S. wants to send you money, but the envelope is stuck!

9> Rabbit said, "I am a rabbit!" "

The pig said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "

The chicken said, "I'm a son of a bitch!" " "

The dog said, "You talk, I'll go first!" "

No.0 sparring partner said, "outsiders call me zero sparring partner, which is nice!" "

No.65438 +0 sparring partner said, "It's good to have an outsider!"

No.2 sparring partner said, "It's good to be called sparring partner by outsiders!"

No.3 sparring partner said, "You talk, let's go first!"

The cat said to me, "I am your grandmother's cat." Listen! "

The dog said to me, "I'm your grandmother's dog. It sounds nice!" " "

The fish said to me, "I'm your grandmother's fish. It sounds nice!" " "

The bear said, "You talk, I'll go first!" "

Lang Ke said: "People call me a ronin, which is very nice!"

The samurai said, "It's nice to be called a samurai!"

The expert said, "It's nice to be called an expert!"

The swordsman said, "You talk, I'll go first!"

Jane Zhang said: "My fans say my idol is Ying."

He Jie said: "My fans say: My idol is Jay."

"My fans say: My idol is Chang."

Chris Lee said: "You talk, I'll go first!"

The senior math teacher said that I will teach senior math this semester.

The college physics teacher said: I teach big this semester.

The analog electronics teacher said that I teach analog electronics this semester.

The socio-economic teacher said: You talk, I'll go first.

Peking University said: I am from Peking University.

Tianjin University said: I am older.

Shanghai University said: I went to college.

Xiamen University said: You talk, I'll go first!

General Li Zongren said: I am a benevolent man!

General fu said to him: I am just!

General Zuo Quan said: I have this right!

General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first!

Minolta users say: we are beautiful women!

Canon users say: we are beautiful!

The user of Huaguang said: We are from China!

Nikon users said: you chat, I'll go first!

The door of Lao Zhang's house is made of wicker. Lao Zhang said: My door is a wooden door.

Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said that my door is made of plastic.

The door of Lao Wang's house is made of brick. Lao Wang said: My door is a brick door.

Liu's door is made of steel. Lao Liu said: you talk, I'll go first!

The students of normal college said: I am from normal college.

The students of the Railway Institute said: I am from the "Iron Institute"

The students in vocational colleges said: I am from vocational colleges.

The students of the technical college said: You talk, I'll go first!