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Who wrote The Art of Conversation?

The art of conversation

-translated by Nie Zhenxiong

Vanity makes people have all kinds of wishes, among which the most common, or at least criticized, is to win others with the art of conversation. People may have other talents but have no chance to display them; Even if it is not, don't worry that this defect will often be found. However, unless you live in seclusion in the mountains, as long as you live in the world, you will inevitably be complacent and angry because of your relatives and friends around you. Therefore, the ability to give people happiness is always useful. Some people can become the focus of attention wherever they go. When they enter the door, it seems that joy comes at the same time, but once they leave, everyone will feel sorry for it. As if the sun suddenly disappeared in the cold weather in the north, as if imagination lost its inspiration and joy lost its source. Few others can be admired as often as they are. Obviously, if you want to master the exquisiteness of this precious art, you must have some special conditions. Our experience tells us that although some people can give people happiness through conversation, how much they give people happiness has nothing to do with their moral knowledge. Many people, if on other occasions, you would never think they are very important, but they will be guests at your table or party. Some people, although you can't respect them, often can't help but be happy. Some people, knowing that they are uneducated and ignorant, are not good enough to be teachers and cunning and changeable, are not good enough to be friends, but they are still willing to take their chances and lead them to be partners. I doubt very much, if there is no tolerance, can I still be popular? Few people want to kill time under the aggressive and arrogant eyes, so those who are invited to the happy party rarely see rich and powerful dignitaries. Humorous people, if witty remarks, force people who are not good at words to be ashamed to speak; A learned man is difficult to learn from if he is inscrutable; Critics, if you don't let go of every fallacy easily; Good at thinking, if lazy people are forced to think and careless people are forced to concentrate, then nine times out of ten, although they will be praised, they will be revered and avoided. If you want to make people happy, you can't force others to listen, dare not express your opinions, and can't deprive others of their hope and make them unable to contribute their own strength, so as to please others and yourself. If people just laugh by fancy, witty remarks and quick response, then this kind of laughter is often just Sardinian laughter that Latin people say. Although the face is forced to smile, there is no happiness in my heart. Therefore, in order to be universally welcomed, the way to speak is narrative. People whose stomachs are full of anecdotes, secret stories and quirks are rarely unpopular with the audience. Almost everyone likes to listen to contemporary historical stories, because almost everyone has some or imaginary relationship with a famous person, and they all have a desire to praise or belittle the increasingly famous names. Vanity and curiosity often go hand in hand. Some people can only listen on one occasion, but they are qualified to talk to Kan Kan on another occasion. Although he can't understand a series of arguments and faithfully convey the cheerful spirit of humor, he is confident that he can keep the details of the story in mind, and he is also glad that with these materials, he can satisfy his wishes and dedicate these stories to audiences who are more ignorant than himself in the future. Generally speaking, narrative will not arouse the envy of the audience, because no one will think that narrative needs any intelligence beyond ordinary people. Knowing the fact that some ordinary people don't make rumors, such a coincidence can happen to anyone; It doesn't seem too difficult to tell others after knowing these facts, and everyone will think they can do it. But it is not easy to accumulate enough material to supplement the consumption of continuous telling, and in some cases it is even impossible. Therefore, people who try to be so narcissistic can only please others when they meet people for the first time, because without new talk materials, the story will be unsustainable after repeated many times. For this reason, if you don't find another simpler method, you won't win the appreciation of a good partner. However, except those who admire real talent and rational dignity, human beings are tolerant of others. Therefore, as long as you are considerate, you will always win goodwill in return, and as long as you are not jealous, you will always win the love of others. We are all willing to be flattered by others, but unwilling to praise others: we like others to make fun of us or give us advice to win our respect, but we refuse to accept the value or spirit that forces us to respect. The people who can win the hearts of others most are optimists, because their only wish is to make people happy. Their laughter is hearty and their voices are rich. Every time they hear a joke worth laughing, they will cheer loudly, and every time they meet something worth laughing, they will be greeted with applause. Optimists themselves don't need the capital to win others' laughter, and they don't have any comprehension ability. They just need to be in high spirits when they show up. Because generally speaking, people's emotions are either cheerful or serious. Everyone will be infected by others, and once someone sets an example, they can't help imitating it. Next to optimists are those who are easy-going. Generally speaking, these people are not full of goodwill and have no other noble qualities. Their advantage only lies in their slow response and emotional numbness. The biggest feature of easygoing people is that they can tolerate jokes; Even in the midst of noise, riots and foul language, you can still sit still, unmoved and unaffected; Every story, they are all ears and don't express any objection; Being humiliated, they are willing to endure and will not fight back; No matter how absurd things happen, they will follow closely and go with the flow. Easy-going people are generally favored by people with shallow wit, and they are ideal targets for practicing their basic banter skills, because easy-going people never take advantage of other people's weaknesses, nor will they suddenly respond to unwise ridicule and ridicule, which is embarrassing, but they are willing to become the jokes of others forever in all the fuss, even more triumphant after the banquet, and think they are important roles. People who are modest in nature can only associate with lower-level mediocre people. Their only ability to give people happiness is never to interrupt others. A modest man will only be satisfied if he listens in silence, and his companions will sincerely think that his silence is not because of his silence, but because he is willing to listen. There are still many people who can't master the ordinary exquisite skills, but they also have a set of methods to please people. With this method, they can be as unimpeded as a pass. One of them, whom I have known for fifteen years, is the darling of a club. This furniture and bed department meets once a week. On the evening of the party, at 1 1, he sang his favorite song on time, and while singing, he showed a huge figure on the wall with his hands in various postures. The other always wears a wig and goes to friends' parties again and again to win their love. Another is that whenever a new member joins the club, he always tries to smear the nose of strangers. Besides, there is another one who meows like a cat and then pretends to be frightened. Another barked like a dog and shouted at the bartender to get the dog out. These are all arts that can increase the atmosphere of joy and sometimes build friendship. Some people may scoff at these arts, but please don't criticize them severely as long as they don't hurt innocent people when used; Because we all need to be liked forever, but we don't need to be respected forever.

[Introduction] Samuel? Johnson, lexicographer, essayist and critic. Born in a bookseller family, he dropped out of school because of poverty. I like reading since I was a child. I have been studying since ancient times, and I have become a great writer in Britain. He is generous, devoted to friendship and full of enthusiasm. Bao Si Will's Interesting Life Story