Ask 10 super funny joke ~ for work. Be funny ~ no vulgar jokes. If it's not funny, I'll deduct my salary ! ! One of 200 words.

1 A person went to the zoo as an animal keeper in ............. The director said to him, "well, I'll test you." Is there any way to make the elephant shake his head first, then nod, and finally jump into the swimming pool? " "The man said," it's easy! So he went up to the elephant and said, "Do you know me?" "The elephant shook his head. The man asked again, "Are you angry?" The elephant nodded. The man then picked up the awl and pricked the elephant's ass. The elephant jumped into the swimming pool in pain.

The director saw it and said, "You are too unsympathetic to be an animal keeper." The man said, "Give me another chance and I will be gentle." Chang Yuan said, "Well, all three conditions are the same, but you can't do it this time." The man agreed, walked up to the elephant and said, "Are you still angry?" The elephant shook his head. The man asked again, "Do you know me now?" The elephant nodded. The man asked again, "Do you know what to do now?" Hearing this, the elephant turned and jumped into the swimming pool.

............, the country's leader, flew with his prime minister. Suddenly, the plane broke down and was about to crash. At this time, in addition to the two of them, there was a pilot and a little girl on board, but the plane was only equipped with three parachute bags. Seeing this, the pilot immediately jumped down with an umbrella bag on his back. The leader jumped down with his bag, willy-nilly. When the Prime Minister was about to jump, he found the little girl behind him. At this time, a touching scene happened on the plane. ......

Premier: Little sister, I have a parachute bag here. Here you are.

Little girl: No ..... no need.

Premier Wen: You are still young and have a bright future. Take it.

Little girl: But I already have it!

Premier Wen: Where did your umbrella bag come from?

Little girl: That uncle jumped with my schoolbag just now.

Our angel ................ received the newly arrived dead in heaven ... Three dead people cried one after another, and the angel brought them together. ...

The first dead man said, alas, I died unjustly. I came home one day, and when I opened the door, I found my room was turned upside down. I think there must be a thief. When I walked to the balcony, I suddenly found two fingers hooked on the balcony. I think the thief must be hiding in such a dirty place, so he took a hammer and broke his finger. I saw him fall, just before he died, I threw the refrigerator down again and finally threw him away.

The second undead said: I just died! I am a person who loves health. One day I hit Tai Ji Chuan on the balcony and accidentally fell off the balcony. Fortunately, I was agile and hooked the balcony downstairs with two fingers, but I don't know which wicked guy broke my finger with a hammer. I fell down, fortunately, I was strong and not dead, but a refrigerator fell from the sky and killed me.

The third immortal said, I am a professional thief. One day, I went to a house to steal something, and suddenly I heard the owner of the house come back, so I hid in the refrigerator. After a while, I heard a bang and came over.

A brother is constipated and can't go to the toilet for a long time. Just as he was going all out, he watched a buddy rush into the toilet like the wind and enter the next position. Hardly had he entered when there was a real storm. The brother said to his buddy with envy: I envy you to death, and the buddy said: I envy what, my pants haven't been taken off yet ~ ~

An American, a Japanese and an China are exploring the jungle. As a result, they were all arrested by cannibal tribes. But the tribal leader said, "I'm in a good mood today. I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board." "

The American was the first to be hit by the board. He said, "Before hitting the board, put 1 mat on my ass." Mats, boards rained down; In the past, 70 boards were ok. After the 70-board back cushion was smashed and there was blood on the board ... America always left. When the Japanese saw this, they asked for a 10 mattress. After 1, 2, 3 ... 100, the Japanese got up and patted their ass, nothing happened; Then he boasted about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with a smelly mouth, and wanted to sit in a Chinese drama. China people slowly get down and say slowly, "Come on, give me the Japanese mat." …

One day, there were too many people on the bus, which was hot and stuffy. I don't know who farted, which made the environment worse. My friend can't stand it, and I don't know who it is. I can't help it It happened that the conductor was asking, "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend suddenly had a plan and said loudly, "Fart didn't buy a ticket!" " Suddenly, a particularly fat woman, holding the ticket high in her hand, said loudly, "I have bought the ticket!"

The loss of bicycles at school is particularly serious. The new ones disappear in the blink of an eye, but sometimes with luck, the lost bicycles will appear again every few days. One day, my roommate Xiao Jing bought a new transmission car. She showed off to everyone and said, "I locked this car with the latest lock!" " The next day, Xiao Jing came back from self-study at night and looked depressed. He still holds a piece of paper in his hand, which reads: Don't be the owner here, I borrowed the car, and I'll pay you back in a few days!

A few days later, the thief really returned the car. Xiao Jing is very happy, but she is worried that the car will be "borrowed" again. He bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and put a note on the thief: See how you "borrow"! When Xiao Jing went downstairs the next morning, she found five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: See how you ride!

One day, Cao Cao arrested Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. Cao Cao said to the three of them: each of you should go to the orchard and choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei took out an apple. Cao Cao said, if they can put the fruit in their ass, let them go. Zhang Fei tried for a while without success and was killed. After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes and Cao Cao said the same thing to him. Guan Yu started stuffing things ... when he stuffed the third one, Guan Yu suddenly smiled, and as a result, he smashed the grapes and was killed. After going to the underworld, the prince asked Guan Yu, "You are so stupid, why are you laughing?" "If you don't laugh, you won't die," Guan Yu said with a sigh. I don't want to! Jealous beauty! When I stuffed the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu coming out with a durian ... "

Three white rabbits picked a mushroom.

The two big ones let the small one get some wild vegetables to eat together.

The younger one said I wouldn't go. If I leave, you will eat my mushrooms.

The two older ones said no and went ~ ~ ~

Half a year has passed, and the white rabbit hasn't come back yet. The big one can't come back. Let's eat.

The other big one said wait ~ ~ ~

A year has passed and the white rabbit hasn't come back yet. Don't wait for us to eat.

Just then, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the nearby jungle and said angrily, Look! I know you want to eat my mushrooms.

10. There is a family ... the whole family is lazy. ...

Dad lets mom do housework, mom lets her sister do it if she doesn't want to, and sister lets her do it if she doesn't want to. ...

But my sister didn't want to do it either, so she let the dog do it. ...

One day, a guest came to the house ... and found the dog doing housework. ...

I asked the dog in surprise, "Puppy, can you do housework?" ? ! 」

The dog said, "I can't help it ... they don't do it, but they all want me to do it ..."

The guests were even more surprised ...: "You can talk! ! ! ! 」

Dog: "Shh! Keep your voice down ... or they'll know I can talk ... let me answer the phone ...! ! 」