Swearing jokes

1, you are in good health. I can see at a glance that you must live to death.

His sword is cold, his knife is cold, his heart is cold, his blood is cold ... this grandson is frozen!

Go your own way and say who you want.

4, only between peers is naked hatred.

5, this head is the worst! /kloc killed his father at the age of 0/3, pushed his mother into the river at the age of 0/5, and died at the age of 0/7! After watching her for less than 5 minutes, tears came down-"Sister, I think this is a misunderstanding ..."

6. That's your father, I'm talking about your father!

7, I participate, you contribute, I am happy!

8. The world is cold and broad-minded, and everyone's business is my business, benefiting the people, solving worries for the society and helping you who are powerless and mentally retarded. (Vulnerable groups) take your business as my business and see that everyone is like my child.

9. After my counseling, I instigated how many people on the verge of suicide tried to kill people.

10, who doesn't know that Yu Qian has never eaten pork?

1 1. It takes a lot of effort to say cross talk. I am sweating here. You can't see people sweating, but people are sweating.

12, if you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it.

13, Kara is a dog, I wrote it, and I'm going to write another one: Yu Qian is a pig.

14, everyone went out to buy tickets and asked, "Is there a Titanic?" Yu Qian said, "Mr. Huo is dead."

15, thousands of books, a three-foot Longquan, was born in the world. What do I think? I can't serve my country and the world. Whose husband am I? Yu Qian: "What is this word?" Degang Guo: "Tang poetry." Yu Qian: "Why are you still looking for a wife in Tang poetry?"

16, invite the director to dinner. The director said that eating Lanzhou food is simple: "Lanzhou food?" Degang Guo: "If you want wide strips, you have to add meat."

17, diligent, I just spend other people's coffee time on beer.

18, if you want to get rich, take off your pants first.

19, I am 400 minutes away from going to Peking University.

20. The clothes worn by these big girls are hidden.

2 1, Forever-Formalin, this bottle is all yours.

22. Mr. Guo, you respect yourself. We only sell ourselves, not artists.

It is not enough for you to have friends from afar.

24, the three-meter springboard, Guo Jingjing named her Wu.

25, roll back for three and a half weeks, more than a month.

26. Everyone is familiar with marriage, which is an amateur activity loved by the broad masses of people.

27. There will be first, second and third prizes in the tower climbing competition, with 50,000 first prizes and 70,000 second prizes. .....

28. My watch is expensive. The original price is 350,000 yuan, and the discount is 420%.

29. I scolded him angrily: I'll get out of here. (anxious mouth is not neat)

30. Your monthly salary is less than 1500. (Classic Quotations www.lz 13.cn) Female stars can't stay.

3 1, many heroic images flashed before my eyes, including a great Simon official and Mr. Chen () who likes photography.

32. Hello, my name is Degang Guo. Guess who I am?

33. Confucius said: Good cabbage is arched by pigs.

34. Find a Go performance artist to perform for us.

35. Everyone is familiar with Go. A horse walks towards the sun like a field. Come and go, commander, sigh, sigh. .....

36. My father was anxious and rolled up his sleeves: I'll fight with you.

37. My nephew's prostate is uncomfortable.

38; My fence is very big, 20 miles on one side and the same length on four sides, a big rectangle.

39. I belong to the underworld Have pity on me.

40. I stopped the woman who robbed on the road. I didn't know it was a laid-off woman until I asked. The more I talk about it, the more pathetic it becomes. Finally, I gave her five dollars.

4 1. Lie down where you fell.

42. I especially hope everyone can help me. If you give me a love, I will repay your one-night stand.

43. She picked up her slippers and hit me. Oh, you think I'm Bush.

44. There are not so many artists. Now when it rains, the artist "whoops ~ ~ ~" appears along the wall. Is the artist out of dog urine?

45. My grandfather's medicinal liquor is very good. My uncle drank it and died. Later, the forensic autopsy report came out, saying that the formula of medicinal liquor and arsenic is the same.

46. There are many antiques in our family, including my uncle's slippers, pickles cooked by my grandmother and my uncle's ashes.

47. I bought some paintings of Tang Bohu, including beautiful scenery and Fuwa, a set of five. ....

48. I bought Wang Xizhi's handwritten Chinese characters: One World, One Dream.

49. I eat fast. I cheat my stomach: you are full, you are full. ...

50. Don't think that all people with tattoos are hooligans, and Yue Fei also has tattoos.

5 1, changing clothes in the car, someone is lying on the window, big girl, look at this, you are anxious, do you always watch people change clothes like this? The woman replied, do you always change in other people's cars?

In this cold weather, I have no clothes, but I am wearing a plastic suit.

53. Wen Neng can write to secure the world, Wu Neng can get on the horse and get on the kang, and a woman can get off the kang and know her shoes.

54. Cooking with a sputum bucket is innovation. Who dares to eat it?

55. Today is like July 7th. The God Bird met a foreign chicken.

My uncle used to be a stewardess.

57. In the past, the swimsuit was open to look at the ass; Now you can only see the swimsuit by pulling your ass off. It's too vulgar.

58. Shuttle through the places just visited, with wire stalks on both sides, swish, swish. ...

59. White Swan Band-I dare to lie to you in the daytime.

60. Waiting for the Prime Minister-holding a shovel, etc. is always ignored.

————————— Excerpted from Degang Guo's classic quotations ~