Help me find some humorous jokes about human civilization

The head teacher’s opening remarks:

Good afternoon, teachers and students! First of all, welcome the teachers and students present with warm applause!

Today we gathered together to hold our theme class meeting. Now, I am honored to announce: Our theme class meeting: Civilized etiquette - starting with me, officially begins! Now let’s ask our two hosts today to bring us the next program.

Host A: Five thousand years of history have created China’s splendid culture

Host B: Five thousand years of history have formed the traditional virtues of the ancient nation

Host A: The Chinese nation has created a brilliant and splendid civilization that attracts world attention

Host B: It is famous for its hardworking, intelligent, studious and progressive, and polite demeanor

Host A: Ancient society has formed a culture of respecting etiquette, observing etiquette, valuing etiquette, and performing etiquette

Host B: Our Chinese nation is also known as a land of etiquette

Host A : We are a new generation of teenagers, and our common wish is

Qi: To be a good and civilized teenager

Host A: Civilized people must have good behavior

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Host B: Civilized people must have good habits

Qi: Study "Students' Civilized Etiquette Rules"

The whole class recited "Students' Civilized Etiquette Rules" (see details Attachment)

Host A: After just reciting "Student Civilized Etiquette Rules", we have a deeper understanding of civilized etiquette.

Host B: Speaking of civilized etiquette, I thought of a story. Once, Comrade Lenin was going downstairs. In the narrow aisle of the stairs, he met a female worker carrying a basin of water upstairs. When the female worker saw it was Lenin, she stepped back to make way. Lenin stopped her and said, "It doesn't have to be like this. You have already walked halfway with your things, and I am empty-handed now. Please go over first!" He said the word "please" very loudly and kindly. Then he leaned against the wall and asked the female worker to go upstairs before he went downstairs. Isn't this also a reflection of good civilized etiquette?

Host A: Yes, I wonder what everyone’s views on civilized etiquette are?

Students tell stories about civilized etiquette that they know.

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Host B: Everyone has told a lot of stories about civilized etiquette. Let’s take a look at the stories that happen in our lives. Please enjoy the sketch "Asking for Directions".

"Asking for Directions" mainly tells the story of two students asking for directions: one is uncivilized and the other is polite. The result of asking for directions: the uncivilized student was tricked into walking around and around the place, while the polite student quickly reached the destination.

Host A: Only those who respect others have the right to be respected by others.

Host B: Our Chinese language representative brought us the "New Three Character Classic", let's study it.

Chinese Department Representative: "New Three Character Classic"

As a son, Fang respected his elders and learned etiquette when he was young. He was able to warm the table and Xiao Huangxiang loved his parents deeply

It can make pear holes Integrating brotherhood and remembering the filial piety in the heart, we must inherit the flesh and blood relationship between the elder and the young

It is hard to raise a child and repay the spring light. A dear friend has a good heart and teaches the child to listen carefully to the mistakes and correct them

Be happy to do housework, wash dishes, chopsticks, sweep the door, family loves me, I love my family, I recommend this, I love China

Host B: Our ancients began to pay attention to etiquette, how can we fall behind?

Host A: Please enjoy the skit "I'm Sorry, It's Okay" below.

"I'm Sorry, It's Okay" mainly talks about the great uses of these two words from all aspects of life.

Host B: Taking a step back, the sky is brighter. Although it is a simple "I'm sorry, it's okay", it can play a big role.

Host A: Now please tell us how you feel about civilized etiquette.

Students' self-comments

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Class teacher:

First of all, I am very grateful for this opportunity. All the students in the class have worked hard in preparing for the theme class meeting! You all behave very actively and proactively, can boldly talk about your views on civilized etiquette, and constantly reflect on yourself.

I hope that after today's study, the students will gradually develop the good habit of speaking civilized words, doing civilized things, being civilized people, and being polite.

To show our determination, I ask all the students to stand up and we take the oath.

I swear:

From now on, I will be a person who loves life, be civilized, establish new practices, study diligently, cherish time, abide by all school rules and regulations, respect teachers, Care for your classmates, be the master of learning, cultivate a civilized self, and reach the other side of your dreams.

The class meeting ended with all the students taking the oath. Supplementary answers The host’s opening remarks:

Teacher and students, good afternoon! Today my class is holding a theme class meeting here. I hope everyone will cooperate with each other and speak actively. The next class meeting will officially begin. From the moment we step into this campus, every day we breathe in its fragrant fragrance and pick up the pollen of knowledge. Many mornings, the hunchbacked figure was hazy in the milky white mist, working silently and hard for the campus and for us. We should not just listen to the teacher's mottos. The campus needs everyone's joint efforts to build it. We need to be a group of civilized middle school students and add luster to the school with good words and deeds.

Then I want to ask everyone, are you civilized? What is civilization? So, let’s first talk about the uncivilized phenomena that exist around us.

Supplementary answers The host’s opening statement:

Etiquette is a fine tradition of the Chinese nation, and etiquette education must complement each other with personality education and moral education. The Olympic Games is a time when the century-old dream of the Chinese nation is realized, and it is also a grand gathering for the people of the world. Of course, we must show the image of China as a land of etiquette. At present, many places and departments are carrying out training and popularization of "Olympic etiquette". The manner when eating, the angle between the upper and lower arms, how many teeth are exposed when smiling... these are just forms, in essence , are not the root of "ritual". Only when we truly establish a moral and civilized consciousness in our hearts can we show the most beautiful smile to the world. In my opinion, the purpose of this etiquette education is for the long-term development of the nation, not just for the dignity of the Beijing Olympics. We must make full use of this opportunity to improve the moral standards of the public by popularizing traditional etiquette, otherwise it will just be a "show". Supplementary answers Host's opening statement

A: Dear students, our country is known as a "land of etiquette". Humility and polite language have always been the daily idioms of our people. As a primary school student in the new era, we should be more civilized and understand etiquette!

B: The spring breeze in February has blown the wind of etiquette into our campus. Let us be civilized and polite since childhood, and let the wind of civilization blow throughout our campus. The theme class meeting of Class 4 (3) of Tianma Primary School "Learning to Be an Etiquette Angel" starts now! (Applause)

A. Please watch the skit performance:

The answer supplements the host’s opening remarks:

Host A: To the beat of joy, we step into Middle school age.

Moderator B: It is our common wish to be a civilized experimenter.

Moderator A: Civilized people must have good behavior.

Moderator B: Civilized people must have good habits.

Host A: Today, let us travel through the civilized world together!

Host: Hello, teachers and classmates! The theme class meeting of "Civilization in the Heart" starts now!

Host A: The good habit of being civilized and courteous is a natural expression of a person’s beautiful inner world and a sign of a person’s maturity.

Host B: Being civilized and understanding etiquette are the traditional virtues of our Chinese nation. The beautiful image of society is jointly shaped by the good mental outlook and courteous words and deeds of every citizen. Next, let’s take a look at the phenomena around us