A character that doesn’t express displeasure

I am a straightforward person. I always want to say a few words and express my own opinions on certain things. Maybe people around me don't like me like this, but since we are all adults, I'm embarrassed to point it out directly. But I still think about it and complain about it.

Why do we use the word "Xian Sui Nian"? It's because CCTV named a documentary about a leader - Hongcheng's Thoughts; for some celebrities, it uses - Mental Journey; for people like me The mediocre people seem to have some ideas or look back on the past, and they can only call it - random thoughts!

But as we get older, maybe our thinking has matured, or our thinking has become lazy, and we are too lazy to take it seriously, which reduces the number of times we are unhappy about something, but it is hard to change our nature, because people They are emotional animals. When they live in this society, when something happens, they will have opinions about it. Because they don’t have original opinions, it’s called random chattering. To be more elegant, it’s called “suspicious thoughts.”

People can really ignore their own shortcomings, pretend they don’t exist, infinitely magnify the shortcomings of others, and then they can’t figure it out, torture themselves with other people’s mistakes, and then excuse others.

I used to have a relative, a female in her thirties, with a junior high school education. I went to work in Beijing for two years. When I came back, my accent was a mixture of Northeastern dialect and Beijing dialect. Occasionally, there was a hint of Hong Kong and Taiwan accent in a sentence. The style of Korean dramas made people feel very uncomfortable. I think, people say - do as the Romans do. You can keep your Northeastern accent in Beijing, but sometimes you can speak the Beijing dialect for work needs. But when we return to the Northeast, we no longer talk like chickens and ducks. It is quite natural to communicate in dialects. Her relatives and her parents were not used to speaking the Northeastern Beijing accent in the Northeast. I was wondering why her parents, parents-in-law, and husband didn't remind her. Maybe they did, but it didn't work. At that time, I wanted to remind her in a friendly way, but I forgot about it. Her parents didn't say anything, so why should I offend her. Maybe she thinks that we are more rustic and tacky, and she also thinks that the Northeastern dialect with a heavy flavor is out of date. I held it back, and I am not unhappy, but I still can't accept the coquettish accent. Maybe it's because of it. My reason?

There are also red envelopes distributed among relatives. There are only a few people, none of whom are others. We basically give out 100 or 50 each. As for who gets the most, it doesn’t matter who gets it. It’s just one person. It's just fun, laugh it off. But she didn't. How much she handed out depended on how much she grabbed. In fact, it was 10 yuan and 8 yuan. Others gave out 100 yuan, but she was quick to give out 10 yuan. I don’t have much money, but I always feel like I’m being plotted against, and I feel suffocated and panicked. Once it was her husband's hair. I thought a man who was upright should have a big picture, and at least be more generous than her. I'll wait and see. But I thought more about it, and at that moment I realized that the saying "If you are not a family, you don't enter the same house" makes sense. I was confused, why didn't her parents tell her that giving out red envelopes depends on one's character? Sometimes I thought, if she doesn't receive any more red envelopes, it seems like I have another one, so I have no choice but to accept it. Red envelopes don't have that kind of pleasure, only the feeling of being calculated. But every Chinese New Year, someone starts giving out red envelopes in the group, continues to follow, and continues to be heartbroken. Unless he quits the group, he can't quit the group because of this, so he continues to endure it. Her parents and husband didn't tell him about this, and they didn't. It's not up to me to say it. I held back my words again. It was too difficult for me!

As for children, my high school daughters, their generation is spoiled and pampered. During her rebellious period in adolescence, she communicated with me about things that she couldn't figure out. I expressed my opinions, but she said that I didn't understand her feelings and didn't understand her. I didn't express my opinions and just followed her and had sex with her. She said I had no position, so I was perfunctory; I smiled helplessly, and she said I wasn't distracted and laughed at her... In short, chatting with her in those years was the last thing I wanted to face. Fortunately, the rebellious period has passed, and we are mother and daughter. The spring of harmonious coexistence is here. Those years were so embarrassing for me that I didn’t even dare to think about them.

The child’s father used to be a clerk, and all the people who worked with him were leaders. He has a lot of work to do every day and is under a lot of pressure. He is very nervous all day long and cannot make mistakes. He doesn't give me a chance to think about it at all.

Now that he has changed his workplace, he feels that he has been resurrected with full blood. He is no longer willing to suppress and wrong himself. When he comes home from get off work, he just looks at his mobile phone. The reason is - to relieve stress! Now they don't listen to my thoughts at all, and there is no communication at all. It is estimated that everything is fine with him, and he does not need to worry about me, nor does he need to be distracted by me, because I am a female man, I am omnipotent, and do not need to communicate with others. Just like a tooth does not need to be repaired when it is not broken, then there is no need to pay attention to it!

In my mind, my mother was a big-picture and powerful person. I would talk to my mother about things, and all the things that I couldn’t think of would suddenly become enlightened after my mother enlightened me. It's a pity that my mother has been traveling to Sanya and Weihai for a long time, and she is still enjoying the pleasant trip. She has a lot of time, so she probably doesn't have time to listen to my ramblings.

My sister sometimes chats with me, but she is also busy throughout the day. After all, life in Beijing is fast-paced, so it is normal to be busy. I guess I'm also a grinder, no, I'm a chatterbox, and I don't have a few useful words. The wonderful sentences in articles are called "golden sentences". I guess I have too few golden sentences. Just like my previous relatives, no one has the nerve to point out my shortcomings. I have to find the crux of the problem myself and solve it myself!

So all I can do is to wander around here and record my emotions and inner feelings. I hope I can meet a better version of myself here in ten years!