Funny cross talk lines for primary school students

The school in the play is a comedy school. All the characters in the cartoon come to school, including Dabao, Xiaobao, Bald Qiang, Big Big Wolf, Pleasant Goat, and Spider-Man. It’s so funny. What happened? What about those funny things? Children, come and take a look! I compiled a hilarious sketch script "Comedy Elementary School" suitable for elementary school students.

(Four-act sketch play) "Comedy Elementary School"

Time: The morning of May 30, 2014.

Location: Comedy School Auditorium.

Characters: Wu Wen: The principal of the comedy school.

Dabao, Xiaobao, Bald Qiang, Big Big Wolf, Pleasant Goat, Spider-Man: Comedy School Students.

Act 1

Principal: Dear classmates, happy holidays! I am the principal of the Comedy School. Today is Children’s Day. First of all, I wish all the boys in the school , girls, older children, children, happy holidays! Today I don’t come empty-handed, I bring you a couplet...

Dabao: (Wearing the sun hat crookedly, bowing to the principal) )Thank you, principal! Will you give out new year's money during our holidays?

Xiaobao: (The brim of the sun hat is facing backward) Principal, do you want to give out RMB or US dollars?

Principal: Dabao, Xiaobao, that's wrong. , Wrong! I brought a couplet.

Dabao, Xiaobao: Pairs are our specialty, Dabao and Xiaobao. (Facing the audience) Dear audience friends, how about we brothers show it to everyone?

Xiaobao: Where is the applause? The applause is ringing! Let the applause be louder!

Dabao: OK. I'll start with the first couplet - Dabao sings out of tune.

Xiaobao: My second line: Xiaobao is second to last.

Dabao: I will write the first couplet again - Dabao's writing is crooked.

Xiaobao: My second line is - Xiaobao's calligraphy is the most sloppy.

Dabao: Continue listening to the first couplet - Dabao is wearing glasses.

Xiaobao: Xiaobao has poor eyesight.

Dabao: It’s too simple. Now I'm going to do something a little more difficult - occasionally intimate.

Xiaobao: Often fight and make trouble.

Dabao: Principal, don’t be idle, add a horizontal comment to our couple’s couplet——

Principal: (He scratches his head and suddenly claps his hands) The horizontal comment is: 1 Right treasure.

Xiaobao: Principal, you are so talented! My grandma praises me like this every day!

Act 2

Principal: Cough, cough (Make a clearing throat gesture) Dabao, Xiaobao, listen to the command: stand at attention! (Dabao, Xiaobao deliberately squat down)

Principal: (yelling) Stand at attention. (Dabao, Xiaobao deliberately took a break)

Principal: Dabao, Xiaobao, you two classmates, please stop messing around and quickly answer my couplet. (Take out the written first couplet from his sleeve and unfold it) Please take a look——

Dabao: (Deliberately short-sighted, he moves closer to the couplet and reads each word oddly) Zero points in the exam, endless happiness! Wrong, wrong. "June 1" carnival, unlimited joy! This is so simple, a piece of cake. Classmates, do you want to hear the second line? Louder, do you want to hear it? "June 1st" carnival, unlimited joy - Teacher Wu Wen, making trouble every day.

Xiaobao: Oh my god, this is also called a couplet, I-I-can-can-right.

Principal: Hurry up, the audience is waiting!

Xiaobao: Audience friends, audience friends, count down with me to five numbers, five-four-three-two -one. "June 1" carnival, unlimited happiness. It’s a pity that no candies are given out.

Act Three

Bald Qiang: "June 1" is good! (Wearing sunglasses, taking off his sun hat, revealing his bald head, waving widely)

Me Bald Qiang wishes his classmates unlimited happiness. Hello, children! (Turns around and shakes hands with the principal)

Principal: Where did the bald donkey come from? How dare you come here to act wild.

Wukong, Bajie—

Bald Qiang: (Took off his sunglasses, so he walked around the principal and looked around, sniffing hard with his nose. Suddenly he fell down again, kneeling on one leg, holding fists with both hands) Master Above, please bow to me as a disciple.

Principal: No need to pay tribute.

Bald Qiang: (stands up and hugs the principal again) Hello, buddy!

Principal: (knocks his bald head) Bald Qiang, how can you call the principal buddy? It's not polite. It's so rude! It's so rude!

Bald Qiang: Yes - yes, yes - rude, do it again. (Laughing)

Principal: Yes, yes, yes! (Nodding like a chicken pecking rice)

Bald Qiang: Happy holidays, man! (Hug)

Principal: What a man, what a man, too - too - too rude!

Bald Qiang: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll do it again. (Laughing)

Principal: Okay!

Bald Qiang: Grandpa, happy holidays! (Bow)

Principal: (glaring, angry, lustful Knock him on the head again)

Bald Qiang: (Turn away, the principal - staggered, almost fell) Wrong - wrong, grandma, happy holidays! (Bow again)

Principal: (stomps his feet angrily and yells) Bald Qiang, don’t you know what my name is, Principal Wu?

Bald Qiang: You—you have another name?

Principal : Yes, I have a name!

Bald Qiang: (Tilting his head and holding his chin, as if thinking hard, suddenly enlightened, clapping his hands) Oh, I remembered, your name is Wu Dalang! My dear Brother Lang, I miss you so much! (Hugs the principal again)

Principal: (Knocks his head again) How do you call the principal Wu Dalang?

Bald Qiang: Isn’t your surname Wu?

Principal: Yes, my surname is Wu.

Bald Qiang: Are you the eldest child at home?

Principal: I am the second child at home (hold out 2 fingers).

Bald Qiang: Second child? Are you sure?

Principal: Sure, second child (extend 2 fingers)

Bald Qiang: That’s Wu Erlang .

Principal: You are still the Big Bad Wolf!

Act 4

Big Bad Wolf: (Wearing a headdress, appearing drunk, waving to the audience Say hello) Dear children, everyone has a good "June 1st"! (Falls down) "June 1st" is bad, someone is making a prank!

Pleasant Goat: (wearing a headdress) Slow down, take two steps, take two steps I got used to it in just a few steps!

Spider-Man: Some people call me Spider-Man, some people call me Big Lobster. With thin legs, a thin waist and thin arms, he would fall down when the wind blows. Oh yeah! (Fake fall)

(Walks towards Bald Qiang and touches his head) Yadan, Yadan, I want to give you a thumbs up during the holidays, say as many words as a double yolk egg, and stand on the blackboard every day.

Bald Qiang: Who is Yadan? My nickname is Heitan. Big Lobster, we are celebrating "June 1st", don't make trouble?

Spider-Man: Shall I teach you how to perform? I have a secret recipe for performing sketches! (So I got close to Bald Qiang and yelled ) Do you want to know?

Bald Qiang: (Pretending to be cute) I really want to know——

Spider-Man: (Looking through the pockets of his jacket and pants, he couldn’t find it, especially Anxious. Suddenly, he pulled out a crumpled note from his sock) Dabao, Xiaobao, Bald Qiang, come here. Read it with me - (Three people came together and turned the note upside down)

Four people: One is not afraid of being ugly, but shameless. A duck weighing half a catty has a mouth weighing four ounces. Zhao Benshan is My great disciple.

Principal: (Holding a loudspeaker in hand) Classmates, I have good news for everyone (*** "Zhu Bajie" rings on your mobile phone, press it quickly) Good news, CCTY Comedy Network "June 1" The special program team invited our comedy school to perform a show.

Five students: (Applause, scream, fall, etc.)

Principal: Quiet, quiet. I don’t want applause or screaming, I just want to be low-key.

Big Bad Wolf: (answering the phone) Hello, hello, thank you mom for the holiday gift! It would be better to give you another gift next week. (The phone *** "Happy Birthday" rings)

Principal: (Shout) Big Big Wolf!

Big Big Wolf: (Walk to the principal respectfully, stand at attention, salute, and speak loudly )Brother Dalang, please give instructions!

Principal: I am the principal now, and I will be your brother when I go home. Wrong, wrong. Who is your brother? The principal is talking. It's very rude for you to talk on the phone. Do you understand?

Big Gray Wolf: Thank you for your advice. (Pretending to fall again)

Principal: Quiet. From now on, no one is allowed to speak, no one is allowed to answer the phone, and no one is allowed to interrupt my speech. (Holding the loudspeaker again) Classmates, (*** "Ji Gong" rang on the mobile phone, the principal looked at everyone angrily, suddenly realized that it was his own mobile phone ringing, and pressed the button hurriedly) This kind of opportunity is very important to our comedy school. Rare (the mobile phone *** "Me and You" rang, the principal pressed the button, but it still rang. A closer look revealed that it was Bald Qiang answering the phone)

Principal: Who is with whom? You are bald Qiang, my father is Li Gang.

Big Big Wolf, Pleasant Goat: The world is so crazy, the mouse is the bridesmaid to the cat. He wants to go online to steal food, and Pleasant Goat falls in love with Big Big Wolf.

Principal: (My cell phone suddenly rang) Hello, hello! We are a comedy school. Are you the CCTV "June 1st" special program team? Yes, yes. What? It’s not a taxi, but a subway! (Surprised)

Wu Sheng: (laughing) Wuhan University, Wuhan University, we are in the countryside, there is no subway, only sweet potatoes.

Principal: Why don’t you hurry up and dig? Let’s go——

Wusheng: (Singing and waving, goodbye) Walk around, Pleasant Goat, Big Big Wolf, I will sing if you want. , I will sing if I want to sing, go everywhere, Wu Dalang, Bald Qiang, I will sing if I want to sing, I will sing if I want to sing...

The end of the play