The master who can tell cold jokes enters ~! ~! ~~! ~! ~!

It is said that the origin of the cold joke is such a story: one day the little penguin asked his grandmother, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong? " "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

2. A child cried, and his father said, Don't cry. After a while, dad will take you to the vegetable market to watch others eat sugar.

A black cat saved a white cat from the river. Do you know what the white cat said to the black cat later?

It says, "aim ~ ~"

When my friend Li Shansi and I just moved, there was no TV at home, and they were bored. Let's pretend that there is a TV set on the desk, and then we can change the channel by pretending that we have a remote control. This son of a bitch keeps changing channels. I told him, but he wouldn't listen. Then we started fighting.

5. A mouse was hungry and went to McDonald's to order countless extra-large packages. After eating, he felt a little hungry, so he ate another portion of French fries, and the result was swollen to death.

6. There is a penguin with nothing to do. He pulled out his hair and played with it. He said, it's really cold.

Sequel: There is a polar bear with nothing to do. He tugged at his hair to play. He said that penguins are right.

7. Once upon a time there was a bean paste bag. One day, I don't know what pressed it, and the bean paste flowed out. Then he said, ah! ! It turns out that my stomach is red bean paste! !

8. Once upon a time, a marshmallow went to play with a ball for a long time. He said, "I'm so tired that I feel soft."

9. Two tomatoes crossed the road, and a car flew by. One of them couldn't escape and was squashed. The other tomato pointed to the squashed tomato and smiled: Dig hahaha, ketchup …

1, there is a hide-and-seek club, and the head hasn't been found yet.

On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road.

The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said it was too hot. I want to take off my clothes.

As a result, he skinned it.

As a result, the banana in the back fell down.

Who will be eliminated, wolf, tiger or lion? Wolf because: Momotaro (eliminated the wolf).

4. Once upon a time, there was a lamb. One day, he went out to play and met a wolf. The wolf said, "I will eat you!" " ! ! "

Guess what?

As a result, the wolf ate the lamb.

Xiao Bai looks like his brother. Do you know why? Because: it's really like Dabai.

6. There was a man who looked like an onion and cried as he walked.

7. Why does the silkworm baby have money? Because ..... Silkworms can cocoon (thrifty).

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. . Cry, cry. . He flew. .

9. Once upon a time, there was a man named Cai, and everyone called him. And ... one day, he was taken away!

10 One day, Chinese cabbage was walking on the road and felt very hot, so it took off one piece after another and disappeared.

1 1. A steamed stuffed bun was walking on the road and felt very hungry, so it ate itself.

12. On a hot afternoon, a match tickled, scratched and caught fire.

13. A reporter wants to visit 100 penguins in the Arctic. He asked the first penguin what his usual interests were. The first penguin said, Eat. Go to sleep. Knock on the door. The reporter asked doubtfully what is knocking at the door? The penguin left without saying anything. The reporter wants to say ok, don't talk. He visited the second penguin again. What are his usual interests? The second penguin said, eat, sleep and knock at the door. Why are you knocking again? The reporter muttered in his mind. From visiting the first penguin to the 99th penguin one after another, their usual interests are eating, sleeping and beating until the100th penguin.

The reporter asked him what your usual interests are. 100 Penguin: Eat. Go to sleep. The reporter felt very strange and asked it: Why didn't you knock?

Penguin issue 100:'' Because I am a drummer''

14, an egg went to a teahouse to drink tea and turned into a tea egg; An egg went swimming in Songhua River, and it became a preserved egg. An egg went to Shandong and became a Lu (halogen) egg; An egg was homeless and turned into a wild egg; An egg accidentally fell on the road, fell to the ground and became a missile; An egg ran into someone's yard and became an atomic bomb; An egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and became a hydrogen bomb. An egg got sick and became a bad guy. An egg got married and became an asshole; An egg swam in the river and became a nuclear bomb. An egg ran into the flowers and became a Hua Dan. There is an egg riding a horse with a knife. It turns out that he is a Beijing opera blues. An egg is female and ugly, and it turns into a dinosaur egg; An egg is a man, and his wife commits adultery with other eggs outside, and as a result, he becomes an illegitimate child; There is an egg. ......

15. Stones fight with rice cakes, and when they get angry, they kick the rice cakes into the sea. ...

Tell a story. Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who privately agreed for life, but the boy needed military service, so they made an oath with the girl and gave her a diamond ring, agreeing to meet the girl three years later today. At that time, the ring will be used as a wedding ring. Three years later, the girl waited for the boy, but she couldn't. Sad and desperate, she threw the diamond ring into the sea and moved away.

Rice cake!