Urgent! Our class held a joke contest, but I looked for it for a long time and couldn't find it. Who will send super funny jokes! Thank you very much

The teacher asked Xiao Ming: 1+ 1=? Xiao Ming said: I don't know. The teacher told him to ask his parents. When he got home, he asked his mother that she was playing mahjong. Xiao Ming asked: 1+ 1=? Mom said: Touch it yourself! He went to ask his father who was reading a book, and he said, Obama. He went to ask his brother who was playing computer and said, cool! He went to ask his sister who was dating and said, I'll wait for you outside. He went to ask another girl who was also dating and said, honey, let's go together. Returning to school the next day, the teacher asked Xiaoming again: 1+ 1=? He said: Touch it yourself! One more question: Who said that? Obama! The teacher slapped him and he said, "Cool!" The teacher said, get out! Xiao Ming said, I'll wait for you outside after class. The teacher told him to go to the office. He said, honey, let's go together. The teacher fainted.

2、

After breakfast, my father said: Eat Master Kong instant noodles! Xiao Ming said: Eat this again for a change! Dad said: good! Say it again: eat instant noodles! Xiao Ming said: I won't eat! I want to go to school! At school, Xiaoming said to his deskmate, I'm so hungry. Do you have anything to eat? The deskmate said: Yes, instant noodles!

3、

One day, the teacher called Xiao Ming to the office. Xiao Ming asked: What is it? The teacher said: someone reported that you gave me a nickname called "tauren", right? Xiao Ming said: no, he also said: I gave the headmaster the nickname Niutou, and I gave you the nickname Horse Face! The teacher said: Come, I will accompany you to see the headmaster! The teacher told the headmaster about it, and the headmaster said, call his father quickly! Dad came and was angry to see them. He said, "You two are really, really angry. You want to scare people to death. " ?

4. One day, camel and elephant met on the road.

Elephant: Wow, why do your breasts grow on your back?

Camel: Fuck off, I won't talk to a monster with a JJ face! !

One day, the teacher told the story of Sima Guang smashing a jar and began to ask questions. His original intention is to let students tell Sima Guang's clever, witty and brave spirit, and then guide them to learn this quality according to the situation.

The students raised their hands one after another, and the enthusiasm of speaking actively made the teacher very happy.

Student A: Teacher, what is a cylinder?

Teacher: This is an ordinary container.

The teacher fainted! I'm in junior high school and I don't know anything about a jar. Alas! No wonder there are tanks in the city now?

Student B: Where did you buy the jar? how much is it?

Teacher: This question is not important.

Student B: Very important! If that cylinder is expensive, I won't smash my most expensive computer, will I?

Teacher: That jar is not Sima Guang's.

Student B: You can just smash things that are not your own?

The teacher fainted ~ ~

There was a traffic accident, many people were watching, and no reporter could squeeze in. He had a brainwave and shouted: I am the son of the injured, please get out of the way! As expected, the onlookers got out of the way. The reporter looked at it and it was a pig that was crushed to death!

7. Teacher: "Baker, why does the rocket run so fast?" Baker: "whose ass is on fire, don't run hard!" " "

8. During the airborne exercise, the officer asked: How many recruits are there this year? The little soldier said: Look at your ass when you fall! The officer said, why? The little soldier said, there are footprints on the recruits' ass!

9. One day, a drunk took a taxi home, reached out and stopped a 1 10 patrol car, shouting: Even if it is one kilometer, there is no need to write so big!

10, when KFC had just eaten the best popcorn, an old lady ran to the waiter and said, "Give me the best diced chicken." Laugh to death ~ ~ ~ ~

1 1, still a primary school student, is particularly envious of the students who see the teacher arranging to read the composition. I always hoped that the teacher would let me read it. The opportunity has finally come.

So-and-so, read your composition to everyone!

Pupils stand up: "My teacher". Teacher, I look like your mother. ......

12, during self-study, everyone is watching the review. GG said to MM, "I just finished reciting the words, help me write them down." MM doesn't want to be silent, GG just

Please, you (touch) me, (touch) me! ! As a result, MM couldn't stand it anymore, shouting, Teacher, you see I don't want to (touch) him, he

I have to (touch) silence ~ ~! ! !

13, I went to Hengshan to play in college. I was halfway up the mountain. When I was tired, I saw an Obasan buying souvenirs on the roadside.

Go up and ask, "Wife ..."

14 ......

15 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.