Video of bomb squad telling happy jokes.

I secretly changed the name of my number in my deskmate's mobile phone to "Dad", and sent him a text message during class: "Come back soon, son, we are at home100000, and went to feather school!" After reading at the same table, he ran away directly, and the class teacher asked him why he wanted to go. He said without looking back, "Fuck you!"

1, two people eat, there is a bowl of mustard on the table. One of them thought it was sweet, took a spoonful and put it in his mouth, and immediately burst into tears, but kept silent. The friend asked what happened? He said, I miss my dad. He died 20 years ago. It's a pity that his old man has never eaten such delicious food in his life. Without saying anything, my friend immediately put a spoonful into his mouth and burst into tears. The first one smiled and asked, why are you crying? Friend hate: I miss your dad, too! I wonder how your father gave birth to something like you!

2. The rich second generation parked the luxury car in the street grocery store, bought drinks in the store and got on the bus. Suddenly, an old lady was lying in front of the car. The rich second generation went up to the old lady and asked, "What's wrong with you, old woman?" The old lady said, "I don't feel well. Your car knocked me down. I won't get up until I get 10 thousand yuan! " . The rich second generation said that the old lady just couldn't get up. Can't, he took out a phone call to his father, "dad, you give me five hundred thousand on the bank card, I want to force an old lady to death. As she spoke, the old lady got up and left, cursing as she walked: "Little turtle calf is cruel!

3. Once a buddy said to his daughter-in-law: Hey, daughter-in-law, I had a divination two days ago. The old man said that I 135 years old has a hurdle. His daughter-in-law said: Why? The grave was dug?

4, a buddy has never been on a plane, I don't know which dad said, you have to grab a seat when you get on the plane, otherwise the seat will be gone. On the day of boarding the plane, as soon as the cabin door opened, he ran in and grabbed a seat. Then a man came up and said to him politely, Sir, please excuse me. This is my seat. My buddy said in an ostentatious manner, get out! I'll drop first! The man said, brother, it doesn't matter who comes first. This is my seat. Dude just said, get out! The man was angry, slapped him and said, you sit here, you fly a plane today!

5. Liu Neng and Zhao Si went up the mountain to pick mushrooms. Liu Neng said brightly colored mushrooms were poisonous and inedible. Zhao Si said to give it to the dog first and see if it is ok. As a result, the dog didn't eat anything and shook his head and went out for a walk. As soon as they were well, they ate them all. Zhao Si went out for a walk and came back and said, Grandparents, the dog is dead. Liu Neng was startled, so he quickly poured the prepared soapy water and excrement water and spat out his eyes. After recovery, ask Zhao Si, did the dog die miserably? Zhao Si said that death is terrible. When I went out, the truck ran over me!

6. It is reported that American military satellites show that since 1989! Every September or so, millions of mysterious troops gather in major cities in China, and mysteriously disappear after half a month ... Later, the United States invested hundreds of millions of dollars in military research, and finally came to the conclusion that it was time to start military training!

7. It rained heavily in Beijing, and there was deep water in the streets. Many cars can't get through. A dozen umbrella friends stood in the water below the knee. At this time, the eldest brother driving a Land Rover SUV took a contemptuous look at the car next to him, stepped on the gas pedal and rushed over. As a result, the whole car was completely submerged and could not be seen. The owner finally got up from the car and said to the buddy with the umbrella: Didn't the water just reach his knees? The buddy with the umbrella is back: I'm standing on the roof!

8. When the office building of the municipal government is completed, there are fewer couplets at the gate. The secretary of the municipal party Committee waved his hand: Shanglian: tell the truth and do practical things in good faith; Bottom line: no corruption, no bribery. The city leaders cheered together, and the secretary asked everyone to make a cross-examination. Someone blurted out: horizontal batch: this person was not found.

9. A child gave me 100 yuan to be his parents. When I got to his head teacher, I immediately knelt down and said, "Wife, listen to me ..."

10, a woman said to her husband who was having an affair: If you dare to divorce and marry that little demon, I will marry her father. From now on, my son will call you brother-in-law and you will call me mother! My husband fainted on the spot and behaved himself from then on.

1 1. Alcoholics applied for a job in a wine company and tasted more than a dozen wines. The drunkards all said the year and degree of the wine, and the examiners were shocked. The manager winked at the female secretary, who handed her a cup of urine. After drinking, the drunkard said: female, 23 years old, pregnant for 2 months! Suddenly the whole audience was silent. The drunkard thought that the application failed and said angrily, if you don't give me this job, I will tell the father of the child! Several leaders present said in unison that you were admitted.

12. This morning, the Yanqing County Public Security Bureau in Beijing received an alarm from the masses that there were two bombs under Yanqing East Bridge. The police were sent to the scene together with the explosion-proof team and found a red cloth bag under the bridge. Experts and police carefully opened the bag, which contained several layers of newspapers. The police opened it layer by layer and finally found that it was really two bombs, four twos and a pair of kings. The police said that they should be held accountable! If you catch you, you must hang up and fight! . After hitting him, the landlord defused all the bombs!