The Weird Behavior of Three-year-old Babies: Interpreting the "Weird" Behavior of Babies

Lele especially likes eating fingers; Sunny has to hold a blanket every night to fall asleep; Beibei likes talking to herself. He has an imaginary good friend. Yuyu likes to play with her own? * * * The behavior of these children is really puzzling! Why do children have these inexplicable behaviors, this kind? Is that weird? What is the reason for this behavior? Child psychologists believe that these behaviors that make parents wonder are children's unique self-comforting behaviors and a way for them to vent their emotions. Emotion refers to the psychological state of people when they are engaged in certain activities. Often accompanied by behavioral changes, children are no exception. When he saw his mother leave, when he came to a strange place, when he felt hungry and thirsty, he would have bad psychological states such as sadness, fear and anxiety. At this time, he will use self-comforting behavior to vent his emotions and make himself feel comfortable.

Children's self-comforting behaviors take many forms. The following are several typical self-comforting behaviors:

El dedo

Zhuang Zhuang is middle class, but he still keeps his fingers in his mouth all day, and even the nails on his fingers are chewed up by him. Mother kept reminding Zhuang Zhuang not to eat his fingers, but the magic of fingers was too great, and every reminder by her mother ended in failure.

Analysis: Children suck at birth. In the months after birth, they know the world through their mouths. Do they go with their mouths? Smell? The world around you. And no matter from the size of the shape, hardness or convenience, your fingers are the best sucker for children, so sucking your fingers is the earliest and most common self-comforting behavior for children. With the growth of children's age and the development of hand movements, most children gradually learn to explore the world around them with their hands, and they gradually stop sucking their fingers. But some children still suck their fingers when they are hungry, bored, anxious, painful or uncomfortable. It is normal if this behavior happens occasionally or for a short time. However, if the child is over 4 years old and sucks his fingers frequently, it shows that the child has a behavioral deviation. If this bad behavior is not corrected in time, it will be fixed and become a habit.

Sucking your fingers can also cause other problems:

(1) Finger sucking can easily bring germs into the mouth, which may cause digestive tract infection or intestinal parasitic diseases.

(2) Finger sucking will cause finger deformation, destroy nail bed, and cause bleeding or infection.

(3) Long-term finger sucking may affect mandibular development, resulting in uneven tooth arrangement or poor occlusion of upper and lower teeth. In severe cases, it will affect pronunciation and cause slurred speech.

(4) Sucking hands with your mouth often will affect the development of finger muscles and fine movements, which will have a certain impact on your future work, study and life.

(5) Social obstacles: If a child is always used to putting one finger in his mouth, he will not be able to complete the work that requires two hands normally, and he may be laughed at by his friends.

Parents' countermeasures:

Parents need patience and confidence. They should not be rude to children and pull their fingers out of their mouths, which may aggravate their habit of sucking fingers. In addition, nagging, joking and threatening children are not the best policy, and it is even more inappropriate to apply irritants to children's hands, because doing so may damage their health. Parents should adopt positive guidance methods:

(1) Tell children that biting their fingers is unhealthy and not conducive to their health by reading books and telling stories, and let them realize that this behavior is not good.

(2) Finger sucking may be caused by psychological reasons. Parents should pay attention to whether their children have potential stress in time and give them a warm and comfortable growth environment.

(3) Make an agreement with your child that as long as you stop sucking your fingers, your parents will reward you.

A small blanket.

Before going to bed every day, Qingqing puts a pink blanket on the pillow. She always wants to put her face on the rug before going to bed. If the blanket is washed by mother and not dried, Sunny will cry and don't want to sleep. Sunny seems to be getting worse these days. Even when she goes to kindergarten, she has to take a blanket with her. To this end, Qingqing's mother was very upset and worried that the child would get what she wanted? Fetishism? Mental illness like that.

Analysis: There is a very important concept in children's developmental psychology called? Attachment? . Before the age of 2, the child's attachment object is relatively fixed, generally the closest caregiver with him. Once separated from the dependent object, it will produce separation anxiety and fear of life. About 3 years old, after the child has autonomy, his attachment object will change, not completely confined to people, but also form an attachment to things. Fetishism refers to children's attachment to a specific object. With the company of this specific object, children can get a sense of security and comfort. Once you leave it, children are prone to crying and anxiety, which can lead to insomnia and refusal to eat in severe cases. Fetishism is more common among babies, and there are more babies attached to blankets. Most older children like softer toys, such as dolls and plush toys.

Why is there a fetish in children's world?

(1) psychological needs cannot be met. Attachment to parents can protect children from harmful factors in the external environment, but some parents are busy with work and children can't find a sense of security and attachment from them. In order to meet their own needs, children will divert their attention, transfer their attachment to their parents to certain items, and get comfort from them.

(2) the need for skin and body contact. Experimental research shows that animals have? Skin hunger? Phenomenon. People are no exception, especially in infancy. In comfortable physical contact, children get a kind of psychological relaxation. So, where are the children? Love? Everything is soft.

Danger: A serious fetish will make children unable to leave what they love. Once they leave or are unable to recover their attachment due to accidents, their psychological growth will be greatly tested. What's more, in adolescence, with the needs of physical development, his fetish behavior will develop into fetishism. Sexology research shows that fetishists in sexual metamorphosis have shown obvious signs of fetishism in childhood or adolescence.

Parents' countermeasures:

(1) Reduce children's solitude time appropriately. Because lonely children need attachment most.

(2) Prepare some attractive toys or other items to gradually distract children's attention.

(3) Soothes the child's mind with soothing music before going to bed, thus reducing the attachment to a specific item.

(4) Set the plot to let the children occupy the place? Love? Something for her favorite child. For example, children like pink blankets as well as their aunt's newborn baby. You can suggest that she give the baby the blanket and be a little sister.

(5) Look at the outside world and broaden children's horizons. Children's cheerful personality will naturally reduce their attachment to things.

Go your own way every day.

Do you often touch yourself with your hands every day? ***? . Mother is very worried and often scares him: if you touch it again, the puppy will come to eat! ? You're too young to learn well, so I don't want you? . But every day, I seem to be threatening to scold my mother? Indifference? Still going its own way. For this reason, my mother is very anxious every day and doesn't know what to do.

Analysis: Modernist research shows that children of this age have no sexual consciousness, so he caresses his genitals just like touching his nose and ears, without any physical or psychological problems. Most of the reasons for this behavior are that children accidentally touch their genitals when wearing open-backed pants, or because they are unclean, they develop the habit of scratching.

Parents' countermeasures:

(1) Don't beat and scold your child, and don't resent it. Otherwise, it will make your child form a wrong psychology of not allowing all activities related to genitals, which will lead to unhealthy psychological development of your child. Tell children calmly not to play with these parts casually, because they are neither beautiful nor hygienic, and may also cause inflammation. Avoid using irritating language to avoid hurting children's self-esteem.

(2) regularly check whether the child's pants are too tight, too dirty, and whether the genitals are inflamed.

(3) Enrich children's lives, concentrate their mind and energy on activities of interest, such as painting and games, and prevent them from focusing on genitals because they are too bored.

(4) Let the baby develop good hygiene habits and sleep habits, minimize all kinds of stimuli that induce masturbation in the environment, and choose soft and loose underwear for the child; Pay attention to the sleeping posture of the child, such as not putting your hands between your legs and lying on your back.

An imaginary friend

Beibei is almost 4 years old. He has an imaginary friend. No matter how his mother explains it to him, he often talks to himself with his imaginary friends. His mother is worried.

Analysis: Language is the shell of thinking, and children's monologues are the externalization of their thinking process. Babies' soliloquies are common at the age of 3-5. By the age of 6-7, most children can think silently like adults. The phenomenon of baby's soliloquy is the embodiment of his social experience accumulation. Those babies who have already gone to kindergarten or often play with friends will talk to themselves more. Some foreign scholars have found that the most socialized children talk to themselves the most, and smart children talk to themselves earlier than other children when solving problems independently. So don't panic when you hear the child talking to himself. As they get older, the phenomenon of talking to themselves will gradually decrease.

Infants and young children have fully demonstrated their own characteristics at all stages of development, so don't wonder what other methods of self-comfort they have not mentioned in this article. Most of these phenomena are staged, and a phenomenon may last for weeks, months or even longer. If this behavior doesn't hurt the child, let it be. If there is potential danger, parents can try to distract their children with useful and interesting things. Parents don't have to worry too much, as long as they ensure his safety and hygiene. But parents need to keep an eye on their children. If you find that your child comforts himself too many times or too long, you should try to divert his attention. To this end, parents should strive to do the following:

1. Find the child's emotional changes and let him relax with gentle words or cuddling and touching.

2. Keep your child's attention quietly and naturally. For example, when a child sucks his fingers or fondles his genitals, parents can give him a toy that he usually likes instead of forcibly removing his hand.

3. For children who need to be attached before going to bed, you can tell him a story or touch his body before the child falls asleep, so that he can fall asleep as soon as possible.

When the child is unwell or suddenly changes the environment, he is allowed to comfort himself temporarily in the usual way.

If you find that your child has abnormal behavior, you should go to the hospital as soon as possible.

(Author: Department of Education, Huaibei Coal Teachers College)