The most philosophical joke and its implication (10 ancient philosophical joke)

A person travels in a thick felt hat on a hot day. When he met a big tree, he stopped to enjoy the cool under it and took off his felt hat as a fan.

After feeling a little cold, he said, "If I don't have this hat today, I will die of heat."

Comments: They are confused, can't see the truth clearly, regard the enemy as a benefactor, and regard bad things as good things. In the eyes of discerning people, their behavior is really stupid.

Person/thing acting as a cover

A man met a man who gave him a grass and said it was called invisible grass. As long as he has grass in his hand, others can't see him.

A man with this grass in his hand went to the market to rob others of their money and left, looking like no one was watching.

The owner of the money caught him and punched him. A man said, "You can fight because you can't see me."

Comments: I just don't want to work hard. Don't think too much when you are opportunistic. I lied to myself. This is really stupid.

Eat bran

There was an idle man whose family was poor. One day, after eating bran, he went out and met an old official on the boat. The old official was having dinner, so he called the idle Han to have dinner together.

Xian Han said, "I just ate dog meat at home this morning and I was too full. Just drink some wine. " The old official invited him to drink, and he vomited after drinking.

Seeing that all he spit out was chaff, the old official asked, "You said to eat dog meat, why did you spit out chaff?" Han, who was idle, squinted for a long time before saying, "I eat dogs." I think this dog eats chaff. "

Comments: For your own face, you can only say that "dogs eat chaff", which not only makes you suffer, but also makes others look down on you. Tao Yuanming's empty talk was so bad that everyone looked at him with special respect.

Shouzi order

At a birthday party, everyone agreed that it was lucky to have a birthday wine list. A said, "Gao Shou Peng Zu." Everybody clap. B said, "Longevity is better than Nanshan." Everyone praised it well.

Another person said, "Happiness is like pain." Everyone thought something was wrong, so they said to him, "This is not only unlucky, but also the word' longevity' is not the word' longevity'. No, no, it's time to punish three glasses of wine, as agreed. "

After drinking the wine, the man added, "Is it fate to live a long life?" Everyone blamed him for saying such unlucky things on his master's birthday.

The man was ashamed and blamed himself: "Damn it, damn it!" "Everyone was shocked.

Comments: There is a kind of stupidity called "can't talk". Speak not only in different people, but also in different occasions.

Whenever you want to talk, go through it in your stomach first, and don't say what you think.

The so-called straightforwardness is just a low emotional intelligence.

Even I have three people.

A scholar said to people, "From ancient times to the present, it is the most difficult for saints to come out." King Pangu created the world and gave birth to everything. Who can compare with him? So I'll let him. "Just bend a finger when you say it.

"Later, Confucius was outstanding, and he was a teacher forever. Who doesn't respect him? I have to let this second one. " As he spoke, he bent his other finger.

"From these two people, no one has ever bent my finger." After a moment's silence, he nodded and said, "Yes, you say it's hard to be a saint. Even I have only three people! " "

Comments: Real experts know how to be modest and prudent. There are people outside the people, and there are mountains outside the mountains. Arrogance is the greatest stupidity.

Rich fool

A rich man has a grown-up son, but he is a fool and the most extravagant, spending countless money. The rich man educated his son: "You are an adult, and you can't tell millet from wheat. I want my family to take you out for a walk, see the material difficulties and taste the expensive ones. "

The fool readily agreed. The rich man asked the children to take him out. Walking out of the city to the mountains, I found that the masons there were chiseling stones, and they had chiseled two stone lions, large and small.

The fool saw the stone lion and liked it very much. He insisted on buying it and asked, "How much is it?" The stonemason knew that he was a rich fool, so he lied to him and said, "The little lion wants three thousand pieces of silver, and the big lion wants five thousand pieces of silver." The fool said, "I don't need much money, so I need to carry my family quickly." The stonemason sent the little stone lion home first.

When the fool came home, he saw his father and said to him happily, "I bought it cheaply." Father asked him what he bought, and the fool asked someone to carry the stone lion in. When the father asked how much it was, the fool said, "It's worth three thousand."

Father was furious and scolded, "You are a black sheep, spending so much money on such useless things. No wonder some people say that I always deserve it. "

The fool clapped his hands and laughed: "I tell you, this is just a small retribution, and the big retribution is yet to come."

Comments: four bodies are not diligent, and the grain is not divided. People who have been spoiled since childhood and lack life experience and life experience don't know that things are difficult and are often prone to make stupid things.

Therefore, the best education is to let children experience life and suffer a little, instead of keeping them in a glass room and taking care of them all their lives.

have a smattering of knowledge

A man runs a pawnshop, but he doesn't know the goods. A guest pawned a Dan Pigu, and the shopkeeper shouted, "A leather basin is worth five cents!" " Someone took Sheng as a pawn, and the shopkeeper shouted, "A spotted bamboo hip flask is worth three cents!" " "When someone came to play the flute, he shouted," A silk fire extinguisher is worth a penny! " "

Later, someone wiped his ass with a handkerchief as a pawn. He shouted, "A tiger-spotted sweat towel is worth two cents!" " The boy saw it and said, "What's the use of this thing? "The shopkeeper replied," If he doesn't come to redeem it, stay and wipe his mouth! "

Comments: The joke is a bit exaggerated, but now many such people don't know how to pretend to understand, but they have to pretend to be experts. In the eyes of experts, they can only be stupid clowns.

Mechanical replication

There was a man who killed cattle for a living. He went to visit a friend who killed pigs. When his friend was not at home, his son was jealous of the word "kill the pig" and said to the man who killed the cow, "My father has gone out of Shanghai."

When the killer came back, he told his son about it and praised it. The son also knows that it is elegant to talk like this.

The next day, the pig killer came to visit the cow killer, and it happened that the cow killer went out to work. His son said to the pig killer, "My father made a fool of himself when he went out."

The pig killer asked, "When will you come back?" The answer is: "If you make a fool of yourself, you will naturally come back."

Comments: I don't know how to adapt mechanically, but I am obsessed with a set of logic, thinking that I can mix it to death. In fact, I will soon make a fool of myself.

Tear down a building in public

There is a small bench in Yugong's house, which is very low. Every time you sit on the bench, you should put some tiles under the legs of the bench. Over time, pedantic people become impatient.

One day, he suddenly had a plan to let the servant move the bench upstairs, thinking that sitting upstairs would make the bench higher.

When he sat upstairs, the bench was still so low. He said angrily, "People say the building is tall, but I think it's just nonsense!" " "So I ordered people to tear down the building.

Comments: My bench is not high enough, even on the spaceship, it is too short.

It is a truth that a person can't do it on a small platform, and the small platform has no development prospects, so he has to jump ship to a big platform.

No matter which platform, your weight will not change.

One can't take the poor platform as an excuse for his futility. After all, his Mazar can only make his own decisions.

Consideration before committing a crime

When a death row prisoner was tied to the execution ground, he unbuttoned his skirt and clapped his hands on his chest several times in succession. People asked him why, and he said, "I'm afraid I have a cold." This is no joke. "

On the way, he was tied to a job, and suddenly he heard the crow. The condemned man quickly bit his teeth three times and remembered the word "Yuan Henry Town" seven times before he breathed a little sigh of relief. Someone asked him why, and he explained, "When you hear crows, your tongue and mouth will have an argument, and it will be solved after reading auspicious words several times."

When the execution ground was about to open, he said to the executioner, "Please clean the blade with thick paper. I heard that the razor used for shaving is not clean, and it will cause sores when shaving. " If this knife is not clean now, when will it hurt before it can be cured? "

Comments: If the skin doesn't exist, the hair will attach.

My head is gone, and I'm still wondering if I'll catch a cold and get sores.

There are always people in life who can't tell the priorities.

What is it for to work overtime and stay up late every day?

Isn't it just to make life better for yourself and your family?

Is it a waste of time if the result of overtime is getting worse and worse and there is no time to spend with my family?