Chinglish jokes

A collection of Chinglish jokes

1. Not long after I started working, a company’s A/R (Account Receivable Accountant) called me to collect a check. I asked as usual. Which company is he calling from?

The man said politely: "This is XXXcalling from Beach Brother."

I was very happy to understand, but because of the company name I wasn’t familiar with it yet, so I thought I’d write down the company name first so I wouldn’t forget it later.

When I was getting carried away, I started spelling out the name of the company, and said it seriously:

"B.I.T.C.H...bitch, correct?"

The man finally couldn't hold back his anger and shouted to me like a roar:

"NO !!!B.E.A.C.H....BEACH!!!"

In the next year, I did not have any business dealings with this company?

2. Once The landlord asked me: ?Did you eat anything yet?

I said: ?no.?

After hearing this, she repeated it: ?So you didn?t eat anything.?

I replied: ?Yes...?

The old lady of the landlady hesitated for a moment and asked again: ?Did you eat?

I replied: ?No.?

She then said: ?So you didn?t eat

I said: ?Yes...?

I guess the landlady was About to collapse?

3. When my boyfriend was taking the Sky train in Vancouver, a white woman apologized for accidentally stepping on the toe of her boyfriend’s shoe: ?I am sorry. ?

The boyfriend replied directly: ?You are welcome.? The other party was stunned

4. It was the first time to play paintball (camouflage paint egg sport) with a foreigner. It's a capture-the-flag kind of thing.

Since it was my first time to play, I kept running with a teammate who looked very professional, dodging bullets and running to the opponent's Base.

Everyone was dead, and only one person on the other side was looking at his hometown.

I heard the foreigner talking to me a lot of terms, but I didn’t understand.

He looked at me. If you don't understand, just say to me: "It's easy, just cover me when I go out."

After saying that, I shouted "Cover me!" and ran out.

I didn’t understand at the time that he wanted me to cover him, and he ran away before I could think clearly.

I pulled a piece of canvas off a box, threw it on his head, and covered him. As a result, he died gloriously. At that time, most of the people were hanging up and watching the battle, and everyone was laughing.

5. A good friend just came to Canada. One day he was thirsty and wanted to drink Coke.

I went to a convenience store and said loudly: ?Excuse me, do you have Coke?

But my friend just went abroad and his English still has a strong accent. The good-looking Coke let me When she said it, it became "Excuse me, do you have Cock!"

The shop owner was shocked when he heard it, and kept saying: "What? What?!?"

Finally The shop owner finally figured out that she wanted to drink Coke, and after clearing the money and goods, she saw that my friend was probably a newbie here, and he kindly told my friend that when buying Coke in the future, she could no longer ask others if they had Cock. That was very misleading.

Originally, my friend had no idea what was going on, but after the shop owner explained it, he immediately wanted to find a crack in the ground and crawl into it. I stopped drinking Coke for a long time.

6. When I first came here, I once went to eat with a brother. After the elder brother was full, he pointed at the remaining plates on the table and asked the waiter:

? How much, all this, how much?

The waiter looked at him with distorted features?

In the end, I couldn't bear it anymore and told the waiter that he wanted to pay the bill, but the result was After the waiter left, he was still unhappy. The waiter almost understood what I had done wrong?!

7. When I first came here, I saw "Smoke Free" at the door of many buildings.

I sincerely sigh: ?Canada is great, smoking is free. ?

Who is my friend?

8. Another time I went to KFC and asked my friend: ? How do you say sundae in English?

He said yes. Transliteration: Sundae.

I had a sudden enlightenment and said with great confidence: Is that milkshake called Nancy?

My friend sprayed Coke on the spot?

9. Chapter 9 Once when I called TAXI, the other party asked: ?Where you from

I replied: ?China.? Is it still strange that calling TAXI has nationality?

The other party may have thought I was in Funny and very depressing, he said: ?Sorry, we cannot pick you up from China.?

When I heard this, I was very angry. How could there be racial discrimination?! So I asked: ?Why?

The other party was stunned for a long time and hung up.

10. My friend didn’t know anyone when he first came here, so he tried to make friends in the class.

One day, I thought a white guy was very nice, so I wanted his phone number so that we could be friends in the future, so I asked:

?How many is your phone number?

The white man replied: ?Ten.? (Canadian phone numbers are ten-digit)

11. A friend of mine who doesn’t understand English just came to Toronto and was wandering around by himself.

Later I called him when I got lost, and he said it didn’t matter. Just spell out the road name of your current location to me. His friend spelled it out letter by letter:

? S-T-O-P.?

My friend was so happy on the spot!

12. When I first came here, I found that foreigners like to use pencils, so I went to BOOK STORE to follow suit and buy pencils and erasers.

When I couldn’t find a rubber, I asked: ?Do you have rubber?

The person smiled and asked me to go to the Pharmacy (pharmacy) to buy it.

I just felt depressed at the time. Why did I go to the drugstore to buy rubber?

I went to the drugstore and asked: "Do you have rubber?"

People smiled and gave me one. Box of condoms. It turns out that Canadians call eraser an eraser?!

13. A friend came to Canada to eat steak for the first time. The waiter asked: How would you like your steak done? Rare?)

My friend didn’t understand, so he just heard others say “Medium” when ordering, and he thought I couldn’t learn from them.

He said to the waiter: "Large, please?"

The waiter was stunned and said: "Sorry, we don't have that."