Seek classic jokes, the latest ones, not those old ones, it is best to have a long one and a short one with a hilarious shop. Pack them and send them to me.

Nowadays, children's compositions are simply witty remarks, so Bian Xiao has to admire children's imagination. I wonder how the teachers will react after reading it. I can only say that today's students are too talented.

1. I remember a classmate in high school who was NB and was asked to write a check after being found playing cards in class. The next day, after the other contestants had finished the examination after class, he went to the podium: "As the saying goes,' there are unexpected events in the sky, and people have misfortune and happiness'. I was caught playing cards in class yesterday ... "Our teacher got bored on the spot! That guy is in the director's department now. I don't know what happened. Can university teachers handle it?

2. A classmate always starts his composition with onomatopoeic words, such as "winter, winter, a drum is coming", "la, la, a song is coming" and so on. I really didn't see him, so I heard his voice first, cold!

My classmate XXX and I went out to play by bike, and his valve core was broken, so I took mine out and put it on him, and we rode home happily together.

The sports meeting 100m finally started, and the students ran out like wild dogs.

The PLA uncles crawled forward one by one, just like green bugs crawling on the ground.

6. "I was in the classroom because of illness ..." "My brother shaved his head newly, just like the little bald donkey in Shaolin Temple ..."

7. The Great Wall is very long. It is really long.

8. Colorful flags float on the playground. Men and women throw darts. One dart for you and one dart for me. Intestines and stomach are flying all over the sky!

9. When I was in primary school, I used to write about good deeds. So people always write down money. So, in order to exaggerate their achievements, someone wrote in the park and found that 1 100 million yuan was 10 yuan, which was as thick as a document (level 4). The teacher read it out on the spot, and the students estimated that it was extremely cold.

10. The old lady took out four 500 yuan RMB.

1 1. "I have a classmate who is neither tall nor short, 1.76 meters above, 1.78 meters below ..." My junior high school classmate's work. ...

12. Classic sentence, everyone has written: Today the weather is really good, Wan Li is clear, and there are white clouds floating in the sky. ...

13. The primary school teacher wrote a semi-propositional composition: "My xxx". As a result, my classmate's composition topic is "My Comrade Qiu".

14. When I was young, I kept a diary, and the teacher stipulated that it should be more than 200 words. At that time, a team leader came to check the number of words. A man in my group wrote: "My mother asked me to go out to buy food today. I asked how much it was a catty, and the vegetable seller said 5 points. I said, "It's really cheap, it's really cheap, it's really cheap ..." The number of team leaders was short by four words, so everyone.

15 ... My teacher is a little fat, with a big head, big eyes, a big nose and even a big mouth. ..... This teacher is very friendly to people. He wears a pair of color-changing glasses, like a giant panda. ...

16. "A red sun reflects the morning sun ... As pupils in the new era, we know that Beijing is close to the capital ..."

17. Do you remember the tadpole looking for his mother in primary school? At that time, the teacher asked us to imitate this and write a composition about my mother ... A classmate wrote this: My mother has a white belly and bulging eyes. ...

18. I once peeked at a girl's composition. The coldest thing is that if I become a nurse in the future, I will treat patients like a lover.

19. A sister's nephew made a sentence with "brand-new", "A brand-new vegetable was born" ... (Thanks to Zhao Benshan) True story, absolutely original.

20. I came to the TV and turned it on!

2 1. This classmate wrote: "Guoqiang (one of my classmates) is sitting on a stool, his ass is as big as a pumpkin in the field, and a big underwear is exposed under his clothes." The teacher read it out in class and said that the classmate described it vividly. After class, this classmate was beaten by that classmate. ...

22. When I was in the third grade, I was replaced by another teacher. We were asked to write about a corner of my home. So I wrote: My corner is beautiful, round and bright, and it is a toilet.

23. On an opaque night, the tadpoles in the pond are basking in the sun!

24. Diary-Day 1: Today, I went to my mother's office and had a good time.

The next day: I went to my mother's office yesterday and had a good time.

Day 3: Today, I remembered that I went to my mother's office the day before yesterday and had a good time.

25. Classmate's famous sentence: geese baa and fly over; The round moon is like a bow.

26. The teacher called "more ... more ... more" to make sentences. My classmate wrote "Anerle sanitary napkins are drier and safer".

27. The truest thing: a sentence from a primary school deskmate. The teacher asked us to make sentences with the word "sure enough", and my deskmate wrote: I haven't bathed for three months, and I really stink.

28. My father and I went for a walk this evening. I suddenly said to my father, "Dad, I have a bad feeling." As a result, my father scolded me ... I wonder why Athena can say this to the saint, but I can't.

29. When I was in primary school, I heard that wild donkeys run fastest, so I compared a classmate to "He runs faster than wild donkeys". Later, the teacher said I shouldn't write like this, so I wondered why I couldn't. ...

30. I walked into a department store. Ah, it seems that people's living standards have really improved. Look at the old farmer, with a refrigerator in his left hand and a TV in his right, trotting away.

3 1. There is also an article about the teacher, introducing the teacher's appearance. It should be "teacher's face" and occasionally written as "teacher's paw face". Our Chinese teacher is going crazy.

32. My classmate's content is probably: Once I was ill, he gave me a tutorial rain or shine. It was raining cats and dogs that day and it thundered. I thought he wouldn't come, but he came in the rain ... He died of a high fever the next day, and I will always miss this good friend.

33. There is a reading question on the primary school Chinese test paper, to the effect that a mother suffered a lot for her children and finally died. After reading, ask the students to say a few words to their mother in Tomb-Sweeping Day one year later. A pupil wrote: "I wish my mother Tomb-Sweeping Day happiness, happiness as the East China Sea and longevity as the South Mountain!" .