The 4-year-old girl is disobedient and likes to talk back and not listen. What should I do?

First of all, what is "obedient"? I think the original intention of the project is not to let children just "obey". I'm afraid I still hope the children have their own opinions. I just hope that TA will not be too stubborn, listen to the advice of adults, discuss everything and don't lose his temper, right?

If parents want their children to form a healthy and happy personality, they must respect their children from the inside to the outside. On the basis of respect, you can try the following methods, and the personal test is effective.

First, provide options in advance and give children the right to choose.

We should understand that what parents want is not necessarily what children want. For example, parents want their children to eat broccoli, but children don't like it. Why not put it in their mouth? There are other ways to supplement vitamin C, such as eating tomatoes, oranges and kiwis.

Shift the focus from making children obedient to making children keep their promises and do what they say. My daughter is not yet able to speak, and she is not yet one year old. Once I held up a dress in one hand and asked her to choose which one to wear. Her expression at that moment decided the way we would communicate in the future. At that time, her eyes were really shining, her mouth was greatly upturned, and joy was written on her whole little face. From now on, I will ask her for advice on everything related to her. From dressing up to buying toys, to attending interest classes and traveling, I provide options, tell her the pros and cons, and let her make a choice.

She not only has to make a choice, but also is responsible for her choice. For example, if she wants to learn to dance, I said that mom can sign you up, but she must practice every day, otherwise she won't learn anything. Every time she wants to be lazy, I say it's okay not to practice, and she doesn't have to go to class. She went to practice at once.

Go to the amusement park and say in advance how long it will be fun. At this time, you should also make a choice, such as asking him whether to play for two hours or an hour. Children usually choose a long time, and sometimes they say that they will play for ten hours. But they don't really understand how long ten hours is. Never mind, explain to them a little, my Lord, make way and choose between two and three hours. They will feel that they have the initiative and usually agree to choose from new options.

Second, what should I do if my child loses his temper?

Parents should handle their negative emotions well and don't criticize their children with negative emotions. When you are angry, don't talk, turn your face away, walk away a few steps and take a few deep breaths.

Accept children's emotions, especially negative emotions. There is nothing wrong with any emotion. Allow children to feel dissatisfied, allow children to be angry and lose their temper. On the one hand, respecting children, on the other hand, will enhance children's sense of security and have more confidence in their parents' love. Children with a sense of security are less likely to be unreasonable.

Allowing emotions does not mean approving behavior. For example, rolling on the spot, throwing things casually, and even hitting people, when you are relaxed, you must make it clear to your child that these are all incorrect behaviors and cannot be done. If children need to throw things to vent their emotions, you can try to get them to change things that are afraid of falling in, such as plush toys and pillows. It's best to fix one or two, let the child know that this teddy bear can be used to vent his anger and give him an exit.

Never agree to his request just because he lost his temper. To be clear: whether parents agree with his request depends on whether the request is reasonable, not whether he loses his temper.

Replace punishment with the natural result of behavior. For example, you throw a toy all over the floor and ask him to put it back. Parents should not nag and blame, just state the requirements in detail: for example, please put all the cars back in this drawer.

Third, be prepared to "disobey" again afterwards.

Patience and correcting the wrong behavior will not happen overnight, but a gradual process. And many times, problems that have been corrected may come back. This spiral growth is very typical, and parents should be prepared.

Don't dig up old accounts in case you accidentally label your child. Try not to say: you are naughty! Why are you so stubborn? Because children listen to their parents, they will think that their parents see themselves this way, and even intensify their behavior intentionally or unintentionally.

Establish respect and trust between children and parents. Respect children, allow them to have their own wishes, respect their choices, promise them to play for two hours, and don't force them to finish in an hour and a half.