Collect SMS jokes

1. It's your birthday! I don't know what to buy for you after walking around the mall. I think it's better to send you a red envelope! I have sent mosquitoes, and I will give you a big red envelope. You must take it!

2. Money can buy a house, but not a home; Can buy marriage, but can't buy love; You can buy clocks, but you can't buy time. Money is not everything but the root of pain. Give me your money and let me suffer alone!

3. The God of Wealth smiles at you, making his beard curl up and asking if you want to get rich. It's wonderful to enjoy happiness! A lot of money is really effective. You want what you see. If you ask when this day will come, it will take effect after reading the information! Congratulations on getting rich!

4. People

fall in love,

not special;

Cattle

can eat grass,

not special;

Pigs

can play computer, and

is special;

press it again!

what a pig!

wow! And laugh!

what a cool pig!

5. The three most popular words during the Iraq war: peace, war. Find found. Connect these three English words and read them aloud for three times, and you will uncover a major historical mystery.

6. One day, I told you that you were a pig, and you said: I am a pig. So I started calling you a pig. Finally, one day you can't help but announce loudly in front of everyone: I'm not a pig!

7. I just chatted with my friends, and some of them talked about you, you know? I quarreled with them and almost started to fight, because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan, which was really too much! I didn't treat you like a pig at all!

8. A portrayal of your life: at the age of ten, learn to take a bath by yourself-the pig cleans itself; Twenty years old is radiant-when the pig is young; Find a job at the age of 3-start a career as a pig; At the age of forty, I hired a servant-a pig's servant; Learn to play basketball at the age of fifty-pig throwing!

9. Two counterfeiters accidentally made counterfeit banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they bought a candied haws from 15 yuan, they cried, and the farmers gave them two 7-piece ones.

1. Dear users, at this time, we have deducted 2 yuan from your phone bill to dedicate it to the cause of Palestinian national liberation. For this reason, the Palestinian autonomous government has decided to award you a lofty title in the name of the whole Arab world: Ben Shalebaki

11. Legend has it that you are cruel. You lie across four seats in the theater, and when someone tells you to get up, you only hum twice, but the security guard comes and says: Friends are cruel enough. You gritted your teeth and said, I fell down the aisle upstairs!

12. Dear God, please bless those friends who don't call me, text me or miss me: May God drop their computers into the toilet, amen!

13. You always fart in the classroom, and your classmates can't help but ask if you can keep quiet. Then I saw you sitting there shaking and asking what you were doing, and you replied that I was shaking!

14. The lion and the bear defecated beside the tree respectively. A month later, the lion found that the tree next to his stool was thicker than the bear's, so he said a philosophy full of vicissitudes-lion excrement is better than bear excrement!

15. I send you 12 zodiac signs. I wish you smart as a mouse, strong as an ox, bold as a tiger, lovely as a rabbit, confident as a dragon, charming as a snake, romantic as a horse, gentle as a sheep, naughty as a monkey, beautiful as a chicken, loyal as a dog and looks like a pig!

16. Now that you have grown up, you should know something: the sky is used for windy and rainy days; Land is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove how great human beings are; You use it to dig up shit.

17. Have you eaten? Please receive the short message. The elephant put the shit in the middle of the road, and an ant happened to pass by. It looked up at the misty peak and couldn't help singing: Yalaso, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~ ~ ~

18. All the girls in the class (except the three masters) went to buy jewelry. Everyone chose a bracelet and put it on their hands and said, I'll buy this luminous ring! It fits me well! Attendant: It's not a ring, but it's luminous. All the girls in the class (except the three masters): Then what is it? Attendant: luminous bracelet

19. The king wants 1 pigs. The minister only brought 99 heads. The king said, "There's another pig"? The minister said, "There's another one reading the short message"! Hee hee! !

2. Warning: Your mobile phone has undergone violent internal changes and is about to explode. Please leave it in an empty place immediately after reading this tip ...

21. Read the following words, and you will get a job with a monthly salary of 2,,. The test questions are as follows: