Ask a few short and pithy jokes (especially funny) with healthy content. The more the better. ...

1. Although Sima Qian was imprisoned many times, he endured the pain again and again and wrote a great historical record with tenacious perseverance. Comment: Over and over again? Grandpa Sima, have they grown taller in the spring breeze?

My father loves me like a relative. Comment: How dare you always be picked up by your father from the trash can?

The sun is getting closer and closer to us, just like a golden cake. Comment: This classmate ... Did you come to the exam without breakfast? wretch

Premier Zhou's vision is the prosperity and independence of the country. In his mind, there are only four words: serve the people! Comments: Maybe your Chinese teacher can tolerate you, but your math teacher won't forgive you!

5. I hope to have healthy legs and a smart brain ... Remarks: Same as 4.

6. There is a kind of inferiority called self-confidence, and there is a kind of falling called getting up. Comment: This classmate is Socrates in the new era.

7. A neck without self-esteem cannot support a confident head. Comment: I want to know what kind of neck is called "a neck with self-esteem"!

8. Without background, you will go to the front desk. Comment: I don't know what I'm talking about at first glance. When I think about it carefully, it seems a bit like criticizing the shortcomings now ... but when I think about it carefully, I don't know what he is going to say ... just to rhyme? !

9. Why do eyes grow on both sides? Because they are used to looking forward. Comment: Classmate, your logic is beyond my rational scope. ...

10, life is like a cup of boiled water, plain and unremarkable; But it is like a cup of boiled water with sugar, sweet; Also like a cup of boiled water with salt, salty. Comment: Is this ... or boiled water? !

1 1, the horse is thin and the son is not a thief; Blind uncles and aunts have lived for half their lives, and no one has seen anyone. Comment: Classmate, are you Mr. Degang Guo's son?

12, Montesquieu was born in a noble family. Although he lived a comfortable life since childhood, he looked at the changing clouds in the sky and suddenly made a decision that shocked history, that is, he devoted himself to the revolutionary torrent of the bourgeoisie. Commentary: It turned out that Meng's night view of the sky suddenly had an epiphany. ...

13, life is precious, love is more expensive; If it is a matter of life and death, both can be thrown away. Comment: Ah! You can't ruin a person just because petofi has passed the copyright protection period of 50 years. ...

14, as the saying goes: how bold people are, how productive the land is. With such land, how can people be inferior? Therefore, we should have a great prospect for the future. Comment: I am speechless ... What are you going to say, this classmate? !

15, entered senior three, and lived a life of "getting up earlier than chickens, sleeping later than dogs, eating worse than pigs and doing more than cows". Although eating is much better than pigs, cooking is more than cattle. At present, my vision is ... Comments: poor child ... sympathetic touch, to Gao Yubao: Did you see it? Zhou skinned is actually very human to you!

16, my biggest vision is to have the habit of swearing. Although I have to abide by the five stresses and four beauties, I am afraid that only sitting on the roof for three hours without repeating the same thing can I solve my grievances. Writing here, my palms are sweating, because I complain about this paper, because it determines my future and prospects. I'm not satisfied that my 12-year study career is decided by this test paper less than half a meter and some ink marks. But I don't have to divide it. Comment: Son ... Are you ready for the exam after going abroad?

17, God gave us worldly desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence. Comment: profound!

18, my vision is to get into a good university and find a good job, so that my son can get into a good university and find a good job in the future. Comment: Why do I think of the passage that a reporter interviewed a shepherd boy in a political book? !

19, many of my classmates had their eyes done in order to be admitted to military schools or police schools. Comment: Do? ! Shake ... why are you doing this? !

20. Premier Zhou stood on the ten-mile long street and lamented to the sky: "He died before he could conquer, and the heroes have been crying on their coats since then." His vision for the bright future of the motherland has made hundreds of millions of people cry. Comments: Shili Long Street ...? ! Fraudulent corpse ah ah ah ah ah ah! ! !

2 1, Tagore said: The night gave me black eyes, but I used them to look for light. Comment: Do you believe Gu Cheng will come to you with an axe in the middle of the night?

22. By the Miluo River, Xiang Yu put a sword around his neck and he shouted ... Comments: He shouted: Brother Qu Yuan, why did you leave me so early? ! !

23, drunkards know: there should be no hate, when to say goodbye ... Comments: Su Shi is familiar with Ouyang Xiu: everyone is familiar, I will sue you for plagiarism!

24. Tao Yuanming, who lives an idyllic life in the Peach Blossom Garden, wrote a famous sentence: "The shadows are shallow, and the fragrance floats at dusk" ... Comments: OK ... I admit ... actually, I can't guarantee that the old man in Lin Bu will not be Tao Yuanming's neighbor.

25. When Yu Pingbo practiced the piano for Zhong Ziqi, he looked for mountains and rivers, and the sound of the piano was his vision. Comments: it was identified as crossing the text!

26. Han Yu went to war with Liu Bang. One day, ... Comments: Another article was recognized as a travel note!

27. Madame Curie invented fish radium, and her idea came true ... Comments: Madame Curie, you died unjustly ... Who knew that this torpedo actually had radiation!

28. After being cruelly imprisoned, Sima Qian endured humiliation and led a miserable life, because he knew that "there are three kinds of unfilial, and nothing is great", so ... Comments: So ...? ! Don't find a small attack to fuck boys?

29. After suffering from castration, Sima Qian had to endure the pain of breaking his leg ... Comments: I beg you! It's bad enough that grandpa Sima was castrated again and again! Stop abusing him!

30. After Sima Qian was executed for corruption, he wrote Historical Records, which is an eternal masterpiece, even though his body has rotted ... Comments: It's outrageous! I'm completely speechless ...

3 1, seeing Sima Qian's great achievements and overall situation after being imprisoned, I can't help but sigh: 360 lines, each line is the champion. Comment: dry, ok! And eunuchs can also be the number one scholar in this line!

32. Sima Qian, a generation of men, voluntarily accepted castration because he was far-sighted-that is, Datang did not have a history book of his own, so he endured humiliation and completed historical records for Datang. Comment: Lift the table! Who did Sima Qian recruit and provoke? I can't believe you won't let him out of this mess! He also tossed him from the Han Dynasty to the Tang Dynasty.

Cao Cao flew by plane (hilarious)

It is said that once Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, Sun Quan and Cao Cao were flying together, and they suddenly encountered an emergency and needed to parachute to escape. Only then did I find that there were only three parachute bags left on the plane. Everyone is nervous. At this time, Zhuge Liang shook his feather fan and cleared his throat. He said, "Well, I'll give you three a few questions. If you can answer them, you will skydive. If you can't answer them, you have to jump yourself. " Others have no choice but to agree.

Zhuge Liang shook the feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "How many suns are there in the sky?" Liu Bei thought it was very simple and replied, "One." So I took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many moons are there in the sky?" Sun Quan replied: "One." I also took an umbrella bag and went down. Finally, it was Cao Cao's turn, and Zhuge Liang asked, "How many stars are there in the sky?" Cao Cao was puzzled and couldn't answer, so he had to jump himself. Unexpectedly, I jumped into the sea and saved my life. Cao Cao secretly rejoiced.

The second time, when four people met an emergency by plane, they still discussed it in the old way. Zhuge Liang shook the feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "Which battle did Zhou Wuwang defeat the crepe king?" Liu Bei thought simply and replied, "The Battle of Makino." Zhuge Liang nodded, and Liu Bei took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many people died in that battle?" Sun Quan thought for a moment and said, "About 30,000 to 40,000." Zhuge nodded, and Sun Quan went down with an umbrella bag. Cao Cao couldn't help laughing and thinking, "Zhuge Liang, Zhuge Liang, I know everything from ancient times to the present, especially the military." You were planted this time, hehe! " Zhuge Liang asked, "What are their names?" Cao Cao almost fainted and had to jump by himself. Unexpectedly, I jumped into the sea again and saved my life. Cao Cao smiled to himself: "md, I am deadly." Old Zhuge, what can you do with me? " ! "

The third time, the same four people flew, and the plane encountered an emergency. Cao Cao thought about it, and Zhuge tried to fool me again, so I jumped myself to avoid being insulted. So I jumped into the air at high speed. I heard Zhuge Liang's laughter from above: "Cao Cao, Cao Cao, you are so smart, haha, there are four parachutes on the plane today!" " "