Ask for a few English jokes at the level of Grade One or so.

When I moved to California, I was very nervous about earthquakes. My friend Linda was born and raised there, and she is completely uninterested. I remember once when we stopped at a red light, her Honda started to shake.

She looked worried until I stammered, "I think we are going to have an earthquake."

"Thank God," Linda said. "I thought something was wrong with my car."

remarriage

If I die first, will you remarry? "asked the wife.

"Well," said the husband, "I'm in good health. Why not?"

"Will she live in my house?"

"It's all paid, so yes."

"Will she drive my car?"

"It's new, so it is."

"Can she use my golf club?"

"No, she is left-handed."

Good recommendation letter

A cashier in our credit union is helping a member to apply for a loan. "Do you have a letter of introduction?" She asked. The member replied, "Do they have to live?"

Crazy fish seller

After I asked for half a pound of trout fillets at the seafood counter in the supermarket, the clerk picked one from a pile of fish and put it on the scale. It weighs exactly 8 ounces.

Impressed, I asked, "How do you know?"

He looked satisfied with himself and declared, "I am mentally ill."