Isn't life like this?

Sometimes I wonder why I live in this world and why I came here, but I still have no answer after living for so many years.

When I was young, I always thought that I was born extraordinary, not to save the world, but to open a new era. It's ridiculous to think about it now. Who hasn't had extravagant daydreams? It's just that my dream is a little long.

In my life of more than 20 years, there is no memorable past and no vigorous love story. Every day is a daze. When I was a child, I didn't like studying but went to school every day. Now I want to pursue freedom. This is just a joke. There is no freedom in the world of adults. Some people just work day and night to earn a little salary to meet the needs of life. I feel like standing here and seeing my life at a glance. Life is just life.

I've been very emotional recently, probably because of my grandmother's death, which made me understand many things. Many years ago, when my grandfather died, I was a naive child and didn't know what death was. My family told me that to die is to go to a far, far place, which is particularly beautiful and has a lot of delicious food and fun. Grandpa went there and lived a very happy life. At that time, I was foolish enough to believe it and had a yearning for it. It's naive to think about that time now. Just two days ago, my grandmother also went, which really made me face a death. I didn't expect me to be so calm, and there was nothing too big in my heart. I grew up with my grandmother and had a deep affection for her, but at this moment, I am calm, not sad or sad. Maybe I was ready for this moment, but it made me understand a lot.

Grandma has five children, three sons and two daughters. It's ok to have her father and uncle around to take care of her, and life is still happy. Finally, all my uncles and my elder sister-in-law came to arrange her funeral. That night, my elder sister-in-law also came to grandma's side to wait for her, dressed her, and she lay peacefully in bed, watching her slowly lose her breath. I invited the teacher of Yin and Yang to take care of grandma's affairs at home and let our family prepare things such as burning paper, candles and incense. My aunt and I drove to the shroud store all night to buy things, and everything went smoothly. At the end of the payment, my aunt asked me, "Jing, do you have any money in your pocket?" Please pay. " A * * * actually doesn't have much money. It seems to be only over 200. It doesn't matter whether I pay or not, but it's not the case. My aunt is an elder, and her mother died. What's wrong with spending some money as a daughter? I know, but I didn't say anything, paid the money and we went to the funeral home together. When I arrived at the funeral home, it was still very uncomfortable to see my grandmother lying in the cold coffin. That night, we have to finalize the funeral process. As a junior, I naturally stayed. My parents, aunt and uncle studied this process. There is a custom in the northeast. At the funeral, my daughter bought paper cows and paper men to pay homage to the dead. Prices vary. There are more than 1500. My elder sister-in-law discussed with her and wanted to order more than 800. The teacher of Yin and Yang said it was too small, so let them change it to a better one, and it is understandable to choose the file. Later, my second uncle and my dad discussed the grade of the urn and chose a box of about 3000, which is not particularly good, but it is already the limit of our middle and lower class families.

Are you curious to see this? Doesn't grandma have three sons? Don't you have another uncle?

Yes, that's right. I also have an uncle. Although he is a big brother, he is nothing like a big brother. As long as it costs money, you'll never find him. So every family has a hard experience. That's it. We don't expect him to do anything, as long as he doesn't dictate. It doesn't matter whether anyone else has him or not. Grandma never came to see her mother when she was alive.

In this way, everything began, everything was simple, grandma left quietly, and finally turned into a wisp of smoke, a box of ashes, and life came to an end. I don't know what grandma's ideal was when she was young, but it certainly didn't come true. Many years later, this is also my ending.

The end of life is just a wisp of smoke and a box of ashes. No matter how well you live in this life, death is fair and no one can escape. At the last minute, it doesn't matter whether children are filial or not. Everything is just for the living, good and bad, but in this way, the owner's regrets and all the unwillingness will go up in smoke. This is life, and life is not that bad.

I don't know whether to write these words for you or for myself. That's it. Let's write it down. I'll write for you next time. I hope it will be positive next time. Not so sad