Cold joke green

1: Three white rabbits picked a mushroom.

The two big ones let the small one get some wild vegetables to eat together.

The younger one said I wouldn't go. If I leave, you will eat my mushrooms.

The two older ones said no and went ~ ~ ~

Half a year has passed, and the white rabbit hasn't come back yet. The big one can't come back. Let's eat.

The other big one said wait ~ ~ ~

A year has passed and the white rabbit hasn't come back yet. Don't wait for us to eat.

Just then, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the nearby jungle and said angrily, Look! I know you want to eat my mushrooms.

2. Cars can fly. Please guess a drink. ....

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coffee ...

Because ... (car)-(plane)

3: one day

Little penguins go to play with polar bears!

Three years later, I walked to the equator and remembered that the house was open.

It was three years before he went home and closed the door.

Six years later, I went to the North Pole.

The child who knocked on the polar bear said, "Polar bear, I'm coming to play with you!" " "

As soon as the polar bear opened the door, he took a look at the penguin and said, "I don't want to play!" Then turn off the child! "

Penguins are home! ! !

4: A fat man fell from 12 floor and died ... What happened to him?

Dead ~ ~ fat ~ ~ son ...

Once upon a time, a medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met in the street. Why don't they say hello?

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They don't know each other very well. ...

5: Two people fell into a trap. The dead call the dead, what is the name of the living?

Help, haha

7. Q: One day, a bird flew from Kaohsiung to Taipei 1 hour. But it took 2 hours to get back! Why?

Because it is raining! So cover the rain with one hand and let it fly with the other.

8: Q: What chicken runs fast in the world? What chicken is slow?

A: Chicken nuggets (quick)

Nicole Kidman (slow)

A little dog was traveling in the desert and then died. How did he die?

A: He suffocated because there was no telephone pole to pee in the desert.

Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole, but it was still suffocated. Why?

A: There is a sign on the dotted pole, which says "No peeing here".

Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. Nothing stuck to it, but it was stuffy. Why?

A: Many puppies are waiting in line.

Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. There is nothing posted on it, and there is a queue. The result is still suffocating. Why?

A: Because there are two beautiful dogs MM behind him, he is very embarrassed.

Xiao Bai looks like his brother. Do you know why?

Because: it's really like Dabai.

1 1: There is a mosquito that only bites people. What's the name of this mosquito?

Pudding dog (

Don't bite the dog)

12: which of the stars, the moon and the sun is dumb?

Stars, because there is a saying in Lu's song, "The stars in the sky don't talk."

13: What's the pencil's last name?

Xiao, because: sharpen (Xiao) pencils.

14: In summer, a giraffe met a rabbit, and she proudly showed off her neck to the rabbit:

"Oh, little rabbit, do you know how good it is to have a long neck? Do you know how sweet the top leaves are? ... do you know that drinking cold in summer means that the neck feels cold water flowing slowly through the neck? ... oh ... "

The rabbit looked at her and only said, "Have you tried to throw up?"

15: A giraffe meets a rabbit, and she proudly shows off her neck to the rabbit:

"Oh, little rabbit, do you know how good it is to have a long neck? Do you know how sweet the top leaves are? ... do you know that drinking cold in summer means that the neck feels cold water flowing slowly through the neck? ... oh ... "

The rabbit looked at her and only said, "Have you tried to throw up?"

16: Four people in the room are playing mahjong. Why did the police come and take five people?

Because the person they play is called "Mahjong"

17: One day Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

Cold ~ ~ ~

18: tortoise and rabbit race ... the rabbit quickly ran to the front. ..

The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly .. and said to him, come up, I'll carry you. ..

Then, the snail came up. ..

After a while, the tortoise saw another ant and said to him, come up, too. ..

So the ants came up. .

When the ant came up, he saw the snail on it and greeted him.

Do you know what the snail said?

Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast. ...

19:

Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher:

There are many ants in the toilet.

The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiaoming: What did the ants say?

Xiao a face of vacant ... Said:

Ant, he said nothing.

20: A man left home for work on Friday afternoon. It was payday, so he didn't go home. He spent all his salary partying with friends all weekend.

When he finally got home on Sunday night, his angry wife was waiting for him and scolded him for nearly an hour. Finally, the wife stopped nagging and asked him, "You haven't seen me for three days in a row. What do you think?" ? 」

He replied, "I think it's quite good. 」

Monday passed and he didn't see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday passed, and he still hasn't seen his wife.

On Thursday,

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The swelling disappeared a little, and he finally managed to see his wife from the corner of his left eye.

2 1: What did mung beans become when they fell from the 20th floor?

Red beans (because of falling and bleeding)

22:

Electrical appliances held a joke-telling contest,

It is stipulated that every electrical appliance should tell a joke.

Let all the audience laugh,

Otherwise you will be taken to Aruba. First, the washing machine,

As soon as he finished his joke, all the audience burst out laughing.

Suddenly I heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"

So the washing machine was taken to Aruba. Next is the smartest computer. As soon as his joke was finished, all the home appliances laughed.

I heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"

So! Computers were also brought to Aruba.

The third place is the most humorous desk lamp.

The desk lamp confidently finished the joke, and everyone laughed and rolled on the ground.

The rice cooker said, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"

Just as the magic lamp was about to be taken to Aruba,

The rice cooker stood up angrily.

Turned to the refrigerator sitting behind him and said:

"I've had enough of your laughter. Don't open your mouth so wide and cold."

The day before yesterday, as soon as I entered the room, I found a hundred-dollar bill on the living room table.

Usually there is no pocket money. Is my mother merciful and give me 100 pocket money this time?

I can't help feeling happy. ...

But when I picked up the hundred-dollar bill, I found a note under it.

It says: "Today is grandma's birthday, wait for me at home, and we will go to celebrate grandma's birthday together.

Attention! That hundred dollars is not for you, but for your attention. Please put it back! "

24: The little white rabbit and the bear shit together ~ ~ The little white rabbit got up and jumped away after going to the toilet ~ The bear stopped the little white rabbit ~ "Don't you feel bad after going to the toilet without wiping your ass and getting your hair?" The little white rabbit said ~ "I'm used to it anyway ~ I don't feel bad ~ ~"

So ~ ~ ~

The bear wiped his ass with a white rabbit ~ ~ ~

25: Why do foxes often wrestle! !

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Because foxes are cunning (slippery)

26. When a beautiful woman passed by a mental hospital, she saw a naked man running towards her. She started to run, and the naked man followed. Finally, she drove the beautiful woman into a dead end. In order to protect herself, the beauty said, just don't touch me. I can do anything. As a result, the naked man said

Then it's your turn to chase me ~ ~ ~

A doctor in charge of mental illness took him to the movies to check whether he was healthy. The paint on the chair was still wet, but the psychopath took out a newspaper and put it on it. He thought he was well, so he asked excitedly, Why did you put a newspaper on it?

As a result, he replied:

Sit high and see far ~ ~ ~

28: One day, Xiaoming suddenly wanted to know where the spider's ears were, so he asked the teacher, "Do spider's ears grow on legs?" The teacher said, "Then do an experiment! So Xiao Ming did an experiment the next day. On the third day, he handed the experimental report to the teacher, who fainted after reading it. ....

Xiao Ming wrote in the experimental report

Experimental equipment: a spider and a pair of scissors.

Experimental steps: 1. Put the spider on the table and shout "Climb". The spider began to climb.

Experimental steps: 2. Cut off the spider's leg and shout "climb". Spiders can't crawl.

Experiments show that spiders have ears on their legs.

29: Xiaobai+Xiaobai =?

White rabbits (two) ...

30: A Ghost Story in One Word

1, I wanted to take a taxi alone, and the driver asked me:

Where are you two going?

2. A man walked away from the scene of a car accident and someone stopped him:

Hey! Your hand is still in the car!

The car was driving very fast, and an old woman looked at me from the window.

4, driving a motorcycle to pick up my girlfriend from work, it was a little cold in the middle of the night, and my girlfriend gently opened her arms and hugged me.

Suddenly she touched my face: "Is it cold?" Just want to interface

Suddenly found that my girlfriend's hand has never left her waist, ah!

5, surfing the Internet last night, my friend suddenly knocked on my window and asked me out to play ~! Just about to open the window and say no,

It suddenly occurred to me that I moved from 1 building to 10 building ~ ~ Who is that?

6. In 6.XXXXX, I woke up from a nightmare and saw my brother sitting by the bed. He gently asked me, "What's the matter?"

I said: I dreamed that a group of ghosts with heads were chasing me!

Is that so? After that, my brother cut off his head.

7. The high-rise elevator in the office only stops at the 30th floor of 15. Xiao F, who works on the 30th floor, works overtime until late at night and then goes downstairs by elevator alone.

The elevator stops and opens on every floor, and there is no one outside. Finally stop at 14 floor.

A woman in white outside the door said, it's so crowded. I want to come in, too ......

8. After reading this post, someone didn't reply and never woke up the next day.

3 1: On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said, it's too hot, I want to take off my clothes. As a result, he skinned it. As a result, the banana in the back fell down.

Super cold ~ ~ ~

32:

A nurse saw the patient drinking and warned him, dear.

The patient turned to answer:

Little baby!

33:

One day, the lion and the bear fought. They went to the toilet and took a camel shit, and the lion won. Why?

Lion shit is better than bear shit.

34: There is a piece of candy. It went to the North Pole and later turned into rock sugar!

Which two kinds of vegetables use the same brand of mobile phone?

Radish and vegetables ..

Radish and vegetables have their own tastes ... (Sony Ericsson)

A deer has a piece of soap that can never be washed, so it keeps washing, washing and washing. Guess what it has become?

Buzz (deer)!

The teacher recited the text in class. Piggy, puppy and kitten all raised their hands. Who will the teacher call?

Puppy, because ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Wangwang Xianbei (called first)

38:

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

39: Xiao Qiang absorbed in reading martial arts novels in English class and saw the climax.

Suddenly the teacher called him up to answer the question. Xiao Qiang unhurriedly stood up and said:

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I thought ...!

The whole class froze to death on the spot. . . . . . .

40: Celery walked, suddenly felt a stomachache, and then "hissed". What did you say he pulled out ~ ~

That's celery dung (diligence)! ! !

What color is celery (vegetable) dung?

Answer: yellow.

Because: Qin Shihuang (Qin Shihuang)

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PS: Old and new vary from person to person ... I wonder if it is cold enough.