Who told me a super funny joke?

If one day I block your circle of friends, please don't ask me why, I just can't afford what you sent me. ...

No job, no love, no makeup, no K, no looks, no figure, no financial strength. I have been thinking about a question: what has supported me to live for so many years?

Today I went to see my future mother-in-law with my girlfriend. She recognized me at a glance and was really good to me. . . Stop. . . I can tell you that I spent 500 yuan to hire someone to quarrel with my future mother-in-law last week, and then I went to stop the fight and scolded that person. At that time, my mother-in-law wanted to introduce me to my girlfriend, but I politely refused! Haha, play with me!

I heard that there is an alien who will stop time and move in an instant. He looks terrible. Although I have never played DOTA, I remember this is called faceless void.

You from the stars tell us a truth. You are handsome, tall, gentle, rich, capable, knowledgeable and have six-pack abdominal muscles. You know law, medicine, history, investment, financial management, women. In a previous life, when you were in danger and in need, you would immediately appear. There are countless people who live in super-large mansions and live like jade. The man who has seen countless women for 400 years but only loves you is out there! Star! People! The earth really is! Don't! Yes!

There are two chickens at home, laying an egg every day. During the Spring Festival, the host carefully observes every day to see which chicken doesn't lay eggs and prepares to kill the chicken that doesn't lay eggs for the New Year. A chicken said to another chicken, "There is really no way to meet such a 2B owner. Why don't I lay two eggs every day and give you one on average, husband? "

I hope the sunshine will flow into my heart, drive away the fear, drive away the darkness and drive away all the haze.

My three-year-old son has been playing with building blocks for a long time. As soon as you are happy, you will continue to increase. Who knew that the building blocks were smashed, and my son would cry if his eyes were wrong? I immediately rushed to the sofa and cried: "The building block fell." My son opened his eyes wide and comforted me: Dad, don't cry, I will help you rebuild it. How clever I am!

A passage I saw in a friend's news was inexplicably poked: you seem to have lost weight and your hair has become longer. Your back is so strange, I feel that I saw you in the last century. Then you called my name, and I wanted to laugh, as if I had just finished school and only waited for you at the entrance of the building for five minutes.

I saw it on tumblr. . . There is also a very popular game in another parallel world. . .