Boring, find some jokes! ! !

Sports joke: That's why I was scolded.

While watching the football match, the wife asked her husband, "Why does this spectator scold the people next to him?" "He threw soda bottles at the referee." "Didn't you miss him?" "This is the reason why he was scolded ..."

Sports joke: It's not that I don't work hard.

A matador was drinking in the country. His friends advised him not to drink too much, but to show his bluff, he staggered until he couldn't control himself. Then he took a shortcut to the stadium, where a bull was already lying. The matador immediately grabbed the horns and fought fiercely with them. Finally, the bull escaped. Later, the matador told his friend

Sports joke: referee

One day, there will be a football match between God and Tathagata. God said, "I have the best player, and you can't win." The Tathagata smiled and said, "You have miscalculated. The referee who enforced this game was the referee who enforced the laws of South Korea against Spain at the 2002 World Cup. " God cried. Read all

Sports joke: fencing

At the World Fencing Exhibition Conference, the third-ranked swordsman was the first to appear. The staff released a fly, and the swordsman quickly waved his hand and split the fly in half, and the audience applauded. Then the second swordsman divided the fly into four parts. At this time, the whole audience was silent, and people were waiting for the greatest swordsman in the world to perform. ...

Sports joke: bad luck

France was eliminated in the group stage. A foreign reporter asked French superstar Zidane: "The French team didn't score a goal in the group stage. What do you think? " Zidane said: "This is mainly because we are unlucky not to be in the same group as China." Reporter: "..."

Sports joke: One shot at a time.

Fans: "Your players shoot high or low in the game. How do you improve their shooting accuracy? Coach: "I punished those players who played anti-aircraft guns in the game and kept practicing shooting at one point." Fans: "What's the effect?" Coach: "The improvement of accuracy is far beyond my imagination ..."

Sports jokes: especially masturbation

The coach comforted his lost boxer and said, "Never mind, you scared him enough in the third game." "He's afraid of me, too?" "Yes, he thought he killed you."

Sports joke: the game should be arranged on fasting day.

Maxwell, an old star, was the coach of Harvard University in a football match between Catholic College and Harbin. During the competition, there was an argument between the two sides, and a striker of the hospital team actually bit off the finger of a member of the Harvard University team. "Ming-Ming-next year; We are scheduled to play on Friday. " Stuttering Maxwell said to the injured players: ...

Sports joke: there are pursuers behind.

In the relay race of a sports meeting, two spectators are talking. A: "Hello! Why does the one in front run so fast? " B: "Of course. Didn't you see the man behind you chasing after him with a stick to hit him? "

Sports joke: self-confidence

Bobby is very handsome, and he is confident to be an excellent football player. He came to a football club and found a coach. The coach looked at him and said to him, "There are two things that stop you from becoming an excellent football player." Bobby is very strange: "What is it?" Coach: "Your left foot and right foot." -

Sports joke: new FIFA resolution

After the group match of China team, FIFA held an emergency meeting and decided: "In the future, if China can reach the top 32 of the World Cup again, 15 people are allowed to play in each group match at the same time, one of them can be a referee, one can be a player and two goalkeepers can play at the same time. For every goal scored, China scored 3 points, that is, 3: 0 and a draw directly won the first place in the group and advanced to the top 16. ...

Sports joke: Football Association raised the flag.

An office is nicknamed "FIFA". Because the director has sparse hair on his head, he is called "Brazil" behind his back; The first deputy director's front teeth are yellow and thin, and everyone calls him "Spain"; The second deputy director has small and round teeth and is called "Portugal"; The third deputy director is the most interesting and stutters a little. He always begins his speech with "ah-" ...

Campus joke: chanting scriptures

A rich man found that the teacher he hired for his son was actually teaching him to recite the scriptures he mourned when his father died. "Teacher, I am still strong. How can you teach him this? " Don't worry, by the time your son can recite this scripture, you may be a hundred years old. 』

Campus joke: simple question

A biology professor often goes to the university to teach "genetics". Once he was on his way to give a lecture. The driver said to him, "Professor. I have listened to your class for more than fifty times. I keep it in mind. I dare say. I can also teach this course. Really? All right! Then let's exchange roles later! " Arrived at school. The driver went to lecture. Complete the course word for word. ...

Campus joke: the function of cowhide

The teacher asked Tom in the common sense class, "Do you know the function of cowhide?" Tom scratched his head and said, "I don't know." "I know," said his deskmate, raising his hand. "It's used to wrap beef together."

Campus joke: grow up quickly

Teacher: Rural people often castrate roosters, in order to make them grow bigger and faster ... So short students should ... Student: @ # $% # $ @! !

Campus joke: Stop fighting.

In biology class, the teacher said, "The heart can't stop beating for a moment." Student: "Teacher, does it matter if the heart stops 10 minutes?" -

Campus joke: animals without teeth

The teacher asked, "Do you know animals without teeth?" A student quickly asked, "Are people animals?" The teacher said yes. The student said, "So, the old lady Wang is an animal without teeth."

If you don't get high marks, you can pass the exam. If you don't study hard, you will be smart if you cheat. You are the classroom, but I have leisure. Novels spread quickly, magazines often turn over, you are thinking about playing Go, and you are thinking about watching movies. You can write love letters, miss women, and review them. It's not a dance floor, but it's comparable to an amusement hall. In your mind, it says: mix a diploma.

Campus joke: after handing out the test paper,

Teacher: "If there is something unclear in the test paper, you can raise your hand and ask questions." White rotten answer: "teacher! The previous classmate's test paper was so unclear that he didn't even ask! 」

Campus joke: big?

The son asked his father, "Is one big or twenty big?" Dad: "Of course it is the top 20!" " Son: "Then I'll take 20. Isn't it better than the first place?

Campus joke: future tense grammar

In the future tense grammar class of Love, the teacher is teaching the tense of verbs. He asked Irene, "Tell me, what is the future tense of love?" Irene answered without hesitation: "Marriage!"

Campus joke: drinking and reading.

"Look at your sad face. What's wrong? " Write an article entitled "What did I do yesterday?" "Well, what did you do yesterday?" "Drink it." "You are so stupid! I'll tell you the truth. If you continue to write, why not change the word "drinking" to "reading"? " Zhang Wen was inspired, and he wrote: ...

Campus joke: reply

In English class, the teacher is talking about the differences between Chinese and western languages. Some students raised their hands and asked, "Teacher, how do you say' jiaozi' in English?" The teacher was angry and scolded: "ignorance is to the extreme!" The British don't eat jiaozi! "

Campus joke: sign up

A girl who signed up for a memory enhancement course went to school and got an application form. In order to perform official duties on the form, the applicant needs to fill in various columns, such as home address, company, telephone number, etc. The lady thought for a long time, and then angrily wrote on the form: "If I remember these things, why should I go to school!" " "

Campus joke: preparation before class

"Classmates, the headmaster will attend our class today. I hope everyone will raise their hands and speak positively. Don't be nervous. " "Teacher, what if a classmate asks you to call the roll and you can't answer?" "It doesn't matter, students who can't answer, just keep their heads down when raising their hands."

Campus joke: making sentences

The teacher asked the students to make sentences with the word "childish". Xiao Ming wrote: It's really hot today. I need to take a bath when I go home!

Student: "Teacher, I don't think I should get zero in this exam." Teacher: "Yes, but I really can't find a number smaller than zero to grade you!" " "

Campus joke: how old is the teacher this year

In class, the teacher asked a question that he thought no one could answer: the tortoise walked five meters a minute and the ant walked three centimeters a minute. Q: How old is the teacher this year? The whole class was silent. I saw the little fool bow his head in thought and quickly raised his hand to answer: 44 years old. The teacher was very surprised when she heard the answer! .

Campus joke: angry

The teacher asked, "What does it mean to say that bees add life to the garden?" A student replied: "bees steal nectar, and flowers are angry!" " "Everyone laughed. The student added, "What are you laughing at? How can flowers be in full bloom if they are not angry? "